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wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
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I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
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wTuesday, October 25, 2005 |
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feeling: drowsy and bleh
listening to: The Entertainer is stuck in my head >>
Blah, I hate this dry manufactured heat. I swear, when the air outside is bitter cold, I'd rather just be wrapped up in cozy sweatshirts and blankets with a mug of hot chocolate in hand than sit in a room heated to 75+ degrees. Dry heat makes me tired and achy and itchy. And yet I despise humidity too cause it makes me tired and headachy and congested. >> Some people just can't be pleased, huh?
I know, I'm weird. But it seems like every weather element manages to make me feel sick and/or achy and miserable somehow or other, except just plain and simple cool temperatures. Heat, humidity, wind, rain... all makes me miserable somehow. Except cold. Or well... anything below about 75 is ideal to me, as long as it's not raining.
It is rainy today though, which is probably the majority of the problem...
Anyway, I think I was right in my last post. Pixel is slowly getting worse, and now I'm almost certain it's because of that lump behind her gill. Because it's right between the gill slit and the base of her right pectoral fin... and she seems to not want to use that fin anymore. And as those who know bettas are probably aware, they keep those little transparent pectoral fins moving pretty much CONSTANTLY. So it must be causing her some discomfort now... it's been there for many months now and she never even seemed to notice it... but it looks like it's finally taking its toll on her. I'm starting to worry that she won't be with me much longer. I have a whole pharmacy of fishie drugs in a cabinet here for just about any fishie disease imagineable, but as with humans, there's not much one can do to treat a tumor... and one is hard pressed to find a vet who's willing to perform surgery on an inch-long fish. >>
I couldn't get her to eat earlier today either, which is ALWAYS a sign of serious trouble considering bettas are infamous for their monstrous appetites... especially this particular one...
And yeah, I'm gonna stop ranting about my little ex-psycho now. Making me sad.
So earlier this evening on Food Network there was an entire show dedicated solely to butter cream icing. Followed by one dedicated solely to caramel. And I swear, here and now... the next time I am anywhere near a Walmart, I am stocking up on Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra.
Yes, needless to say, I AM HUNGRY.
And this post kinda bounced around all over the place... so I suppose I'll wrap up and try to find some amusement to keep me awake.
[edit: no one told me about my dorky typo in this one... >> Netork. yeeeeeah.]
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/25/2005 08:37:00 PM
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wSunday, October 23, 2005 |
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feeling: groggy
listening to: Moriyama Naotarou - Itoshi Kimi e (To The One I Love)
Isn't this an interesting autumn?
I look out my window of my house nestled in forested hills, and at least 90% of the trees I see are still green. Only a couple red ones and some clusters of yellow thrown in. Then this morning's drive to and from church, a route which consists of 15 minutes on roads that wind through still more endless forested hills, revealed to me that the leaves in our area ARE at their peak colors right now after all. The scenery all around us was breathtaking... like the trees had all burst into flame. Just like I expect to see here every year.
So I don't know what the heck the deal is with the two or three hills I can see from my window that are still 90% green. Think they're clinging to summer. >> Idiots.
Also, this morning our resident Most Admirable Mother Deer Ever and her triplet fawns strolled right across our front yard, so close to the house we could've reached out the window and patted their heads. We're almost certain that same doe has a new set of triplets every year or two, and she's quite fearless; this isn't the first time in the past few years we've seen her bring her young this close to our house. The babies have lost their spots by now, but up close I could see that they were absolutely FLUFFY. *wanted to cuddle them* You don't often see deer that could actually be described as fluffy. Even their winter coats are kinda coarse looking.
And yeah, I'm tired. I ramble about weird things when I'm tired. Getting up this morning sucked even more than Sundays normally do because I went to bed at like 4:30 and the phone started ringing off the hook at bloody 6 am, an hour and a half before my alarm went off. >.> Stupid people.
More seriously... I'm kinda worried about Pixel. She hasn't been her usual psychotic self for the past few days... far too slow and lazy for her, and a little pale. She's never had a thing wrong with her in the year and a half I've had her, so I'm a bit concerned... I can't see any other symptoms or weirdnesses on her, except that big freaky lump behind her right gill... but she's had that for ages and it never seemed to bother her before. Maybe it's finally starting to catch up with her, whatever "it' is. :
In more entertaining news, I've moved my dream log online to a Livejournal account. If you want to check it out and be entertained (or scared), take a look. Leave comments. I like seeing people's reactions to my twisted dream world.
And that's it for today...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/23/2005 05:26:00 PM
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wMonday, October 17, 2005 |
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feeling: hungry x.x
listening to: FF9 OST - Crystal World
I have been in a bizarrely good mood lately. Not exactly sure how to explain that, but I feel better than I have in weeks... maybe months. Been sleeping better, as both a cause and an effect of that... takes me much less time to get to sleep now, then I sleep better and longer and still wake up a little earlier, and have more time to get things done. I've even had both the inspiration AND the motivation to draw and *gasp* write. o_o Been months and months and months since that happened...
Too bad I don't really have time to actually DO much writing or drawing. >_> My latest project has me going completely crazy trying to translate an entire audio interview of Suicide Ali for Tainted Reality, the radio show of a friend who plays lots of J-rock including BLOOD. I just received the audio files a couple days ago - answers to 21 questions - and have until Tuesday night to finish the translation. Meanwhile I also have ALL the lyrics for the next BLOOD album sitting around here waiting to receive their finishing touches and be sent to Kiwamu. *runs around in circles*
Yeah... I wanna write various things, I wanna draw various things, I wanna play FF7 and FF9, I wanna play Sims, there's several books and other works I wanna read, sites I wanna work on, non-BLOOD songs I wanna translate... and until these two projects are done I don't have time for any of it. ><
And yet, somehow, I'm STILL in a bizarrely good mood. O_o
Looking dangerously forward to Ohayocon '06 as well. For many reasons. >> << Not sure if I'll be doing any cosplays yet... nothing as crazy as last year, at any rate. Guess we shall see.
On a final note, I took a cute picture tonight of a certain punk making use of a certain new house...
Peekaboo! :D
And yes, I am easily amused. Especially when I'm in a good mood.
Gonna go to bed now though... stomach's complaining out of both tiredness and hunger... :x *eats a chocolate and wanders to bed*
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/17/2005 04:38:00 AM
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wThursday, October 13, 2005 |
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feeling: accomplished
listening to: Whose Line is it Anyway - Donkey Hoedown
Well, I spent pretty much the entire day getting my fish tanks remodeled. For most of the year they've been living in plantless tanks with gravel and hidey-hole rocks that were completely covered in algae, but they now have brand new gravel, brand new hidey-holes, brand new java moss, brand new fluorescent lights to help the moss stay healthy for once, and not a speck of algae left. Between that and the return of frozen food to their menu after several months of nothing but dry pellets, they both appear remarkably happy and fit right now.
Honestly, the difference I've seen in Phoenix in just the past few hours, since I got him into his revamped digs, has amazed me. For the past few months he's been acting like a betta on his last legs (or fins >>)... very sluggish, spent the majority of his time resting... and worst of all, it seemed his swim bladder was starting to fail. Namely, he couldn't "hover" in the water - if he stopped while swimming and sat still, he'd immediately start to sink. That's exactly how old Sekiray acted in the last few months before he died. But after the efforts of today... at first old Phoenix looked like he was going to go right back to old habits of sleeping the evening away, but then he started to explore the new decor... then on top of that he got a bellyful of bloodworms... and the next time I looked at him, he was bopping all around the tank, dancing around wagging his fins and barking at me like the little hyper punk I brought home from Aquarium Adventure nearly 3 years ago. He showed more activity in the past few hours than he used to show over the course of an entire day. Most amazingly, at one point I looked over and saw him "hovering" in midwater... and not sinking. Incredible the difference just a few hours in algae-free crystal clean water with nice green oxygenating plants can make. Even as I speak, over an hour after his usual bedtime, the little punk is still wiggledancing his butt off at me.
Sorry, got a little too excited there. >> I spoil my fish... shut up.
As for the teensy little snails... as it turned out, four of the little buggers decided to hitch a ride home with me. They're still in the same bag the moss came in, but I put fresh water in it along with Pixel's old algae-covered rock so they'd have something to nibble on while I decide what to do with them. I figure if they're still alive after a week or so, I might put two in each tank. Not sure though... 3 of them I think are big enough to escape hungry fishie jaws, but little Tiny is petite enough to easily slide right into even my puny female Pixel's mouth. So not sure if I should put the poor little cutie in a tank at all. >> Suppose I should wait and see if they even survive the week first though...
Anyway, after spending all day on all this stuff and ending up with even better and quicker results than I'd expected, I was proud enough to take pictures. >> They're all pretty big, so I'll just link them here. Examine if you so desire.
Phoenix in his new digs - note the spiffy new duplex. :P
Pixel in her new digs - I really like her new rock for some reason. It's all cute. >>
Phoenix chilling - he really only sat still long enough for me to take this picture. Soon as he spotted the camera he went off again, and photographing became impossible. Little punk.
Pixel telling off the camera - is that not the most evil and "grrr"-y expression you've ever seen on a fish? :P
And now, I shall introduce the snails! *music* And since they're all new and cool and stuff, I'm not gonna bother linking. You're gonna look whether you want to or not. :D
Yes, that's a dime for size comparison. >> The little brown football-shaped blob next to it, obviously, is the snail; tail end is pointing straight down. This is one of the middle-sized ones.
And this, believe it or not, is the biggest of the bunch. I didn't realize at the time, but the smallest one, who I keep calling Tiny >>, was hitching a ride on this big guy's shell when I took the picture. Can't really see it well enough to notice though... so for the sake of reference, you can take my word for it that Tiny is literally no longer than the height of that dude's ear on the dime. o.o
And that is all for now, I think...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/13/2005 01:45:00 AM
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wTuesday, October 11, 2005 |
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feeling: headache... bleh
listening to: Miyavi - Pop 'n Roll Koushien (Baseball)
FINALLY got a chance to restock on fish tank supplies in Columbus today. New hidey-holes that aren't totally covered in algae, new java moss for them to play in, new thermometers that stick on their tanks, new frozen kibbles for them to slurp on for dinner, even fluorescent light bulbs for their lamps to keep their moss healthier and not produce so much extra heat in the room. AND I got a new tank. o_o 5.5 gallons, just with a glass top for now... thinking of getting the filtration and BioSpira and all the other necessary accessories later, when I actually have a fish to put in it. Still need to figure out where to put it too, of course.
And yes... I ALMOST did get a new fish to put in it too. Pretty little white boy with a kind of opalescent pale blue sheen. But after admiring him for a few minutes I wandered off to look for other stuff, and when I came back for him he was gone. T.T Blast the rest of that store's patronage for being more impulsive than me. >>
I did, however, discover an interesting little surprise after we got home and I started getting my new stuff put away. I'm not putting the new java moss in the tanks until I do their full water changes tomorrow, so I filled the bag with water and set it under one of my new fluorescent lights until I'm ready for it. Then a little later I looked up at the bag and spotted a little brown spot tangled in the moss. I thought it was a bit of gravel at first, as it's common for a few bits of gravel to get stuck in the moss when it's bagged... but then it moved. O.o
So now I have a teeny tiny little snail in addition to all my new goodies. :D
I'm not sure what to do with it though. It's obviously aquatic, so I can't just toss it outside in good conscience... I could put it in one of the tanks, but I've been told that snails are HORRIBLY messy, and since neither of my tanks are filtered, I don't need that added hassle. On the other hand, this thing is teeeeeeeeny tiny. Just barely too big to fit into the mouths of my bettas, if that's any indication (though they'd probably still try to eat it >>). So I can't really see how it could make THAT big a mess. And it could make an interesting little toy for either of my punks, I'm sure... hmmm... would certainly be amusing to see what they'd make of it...
Eh, not sure why I'm even trying to make plans. I'll probably just end up washing the poor little thing right down the drain tomorrow when I rinse out the new moss he's hiding in right now. :\ Oh well...
In other cool news, I have a peppermint candle. *.* And key lime flavored chocolate. :P And a really cool wildcats calendar... and ooh ooh! I FINALLY HAVE WHITE TIGER SLIPPERS!! *dances* I chased those things around various Walmarts for literally YEARS, but they either kept running out or never had my size... and now I finally have a pair! Muhahahaha! *ahem*
Sooooo now I have a total of 4 pairs of novelty slippers. >> Tigers, white tigers, Snoopy, and psychedelic acid-tripping piggies. Came sooooo close to buying this one pair I saw a while back too... they weren't shaped like anything, they were just really majorly fuzzy and colorful and cute... I only resisted cause I didn't feel like spending the money. I think I'm a budding fetishist. *snort*
Anyway, on a random note, I thought I'd archive this quote I found at a Dir en Grey community that amused the heck out of me. Some kid was looking for suggestions on which DeG song to present to her class for some kind of project, and a lot of people suggested Dead Tree... and this comment came up:
"i have a feeling that, if you choose dead tree, the entire class and the teacher will give a dumbstruck stare when kyo yells, "RADFHAKSDAKDFGNADKDF" after the nice clean picking."
That amused me way more than it should have. Cause it's so bloody DEAD ON. >.>
Anyway... eh... suppose I should try to finish translating the newest batch of lyrics tonight. Or something. *procrastinates*
[EDIT: ok, actually I've just discovered that there are TWO little tiny snails in this bag. O.O Both alive and well... so yay, a pet for each fishie! or as kitty suggested, I could put them in a separate bowl and see if they breed... >> <<]
[EDIT 2: check that... we have Snaily Survivor #3! *flop* the new one is absolutely miniscule... I think it could confortably fit inside the circumference of my little female betta's eye o___o *wants to luvvle and snuggle it but it's too tiny*]
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/11/2005 12:13:00 PM
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wSaturday, October 01, 2005 |
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feeling: weird...
listening to: D - Angelic Blue
Well, it's 3:30 in the morning and I'm so wide awake it shouldn't be legal. That's what happens when I take naps in the evening. So I figured I'd start my night of looking for stuff with which to occupy myself by posting something nice and random here.
I realized tonight that I've been feeling really... weird for several weeks now. Not really sure how to explain it, but... well, anyone who knows me can attest that I'm hopelessly lazy and unmotivated more often than not. Lately, though, I'm even more lethargic... yet restless at the same time. A lot of it is probably because it's been a long time since I really slept well... I'm tired more often than I used to be, and I've had more headaches in the past few weeks than I'd had probably all year until recently. Not bad ones, just annoying, but I still find it weird... haven't had headache problems since college. I think all of this really hit me just over the past couple days, after Kiwamu sent me a new batch of lyrics to translate and I just have not felt like working on them. Usually I can't wait to dig into projects like that, but this time I can't bring myself to get into it. Not that I don't want to or dislike it, I just can't motivate my brain to wrap around the work this time. Over the course of a few nights I did get them done, pretty much... just need to proofread them once or twice more... but still.
Like I said, it's hard to explain. Probably has a lot to do with not sleeping well... but I guess another part of it might be that the activity level in my daily life has dropped in recent weeks. For a while there I was doing a lot of bouncing back and forth between BLOOD translations, professional translations (sorta >>), obligations arising from Aaron's death, community choir and the festival, helping more around the house when dad hurt his arm, and some other stuff... but lately things have really been slacking again. Normally I wouldn't complain, as lazy is my way of life... but I dunno, maybe I was getting used to it. So now I feel lazy and restless at the same time. You'd think the sudden lull in activity and restlessness would make me more motivated to work on stuff, like those lyrics, but heh... always knew I was weird. >>
Anyway... another recent change in routine, though much more pleasant, is the coming of autumn. The trees are starting to show signs of turning and the weather is blessedly cool compared to the record-breaking heat we had for a while earlier in the summer. I even had to break out my favorite decade-old sweatshirt to start sleeping in again. Yeah, call me weird, but I love cool weather. Even downright cold weather. Partially because of how it changes the entire environment... something about cold winter air makes the air so much clearer, and the stars so much brighter than in summer... and I'm a sucker for a glittering snow-covered country landscape. But I think an even bigger part of it is the bliss of curling up with good old-fashioned body-and-soul-warming comforts like cuddly sweatshirts and fuzzy slippers and heavy blankets and hot chocolate and warm snuggles (>>) and etc etc... I dunno... it kinda gives the feeling of beating the elements or something. I mean, warmth is so much easier to appreciate when it's found among a cold environment. Besides, who doesn't love those classic winter comforts?
Of course, it'll be a couple months yet before I get to really take advantage of all that, but the recent cooling weather is a nice start.
So, now it's 4 am... killing time nicely here... >> Wonder what else I can occupy myself with... hmm. Suppose I should go over the new lyrics again. Or maybe I'll just amuse myself with fanfiction and flash games and other nice mindless amusements like I've been rotting my brain with for the past month or two.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/01/2005 03:30:00 AM
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