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wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
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I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
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wWednesday, July 05, 2006 |
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feeling: tired...
listening to: nothing
Here, have another dose of survey. Longer one this time... sorry.
Basics
Your gender: female... lucky me
Straight/Gay/Bi: no
Single?: yes
If not, do you want to be?: ...
Birthdate: June 23
Your age: 24
Age you act: I can act 8 or 80... depends where I am
Age you wish you were: 22 was a good year I guess
Your height: 5'4" or something
Eye color: some mix of blue, green, and grey
Happy with it?: *shrug*
Hair color: brown
Happy with it?: doesn't much matter to me
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: righty
Your living arrangement: at home with parents
Your family: dad, mom, older brother
Have any pets?: cat and 3 fish
What's your job?: no job, I'm a leech
Piercings?: one per ear
Tattoos?: no thanks
Obsessions?: you tell me
Addictions?: see above?
Do you speak another language?: some Japanese
Have a favorite quote?: several... don't ask me to pick one
Do you have a webpage?: not a real one
--
Deep Thoughts About Life
Do you live in the moment?: is there anywhere else to live?
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: in theory yes
Do you have any secrets?: I don't know, probably
Do you hate yourself?: indeed
Do you like your handwriting?: it's fine with me... could be neater
Do you have any bad habits?: plenty of them
What is the compliment you get from most people?: that I'm so quiet they didn't even know I was there
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: it wouldn't happen... and if it did, it would be a sign that the world's movie industry has already died a gruesome death
What's your biggest fear?: no point in fearing... life's going to happen whether I want it to or not
Can you sing?: when I want to, but not that well
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: no
Are you a loner?: yes
What are your top priorities in life?: staying out of the way... and I'm usually quite good at it
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: I sincerely doubt it
Are you a daredevil?: no
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: fear no, hate yes
Are you passive or agressive?: passive... and it has been and will be the death of me
Do you have a journal?: a million online ones, of which I actively use about 3
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: I can keep my mouth shut... that one sort of works both ways
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: *shrug* can't imagine myself any other way anymore
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: *snort* anything but
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: sure... I invariably screw up everything I touch
Do you think life has been good so far?: compared to some, I suppose... but I wouldn't wish this life on anyone either
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: that everyone loves a martyr
What do you like the most about your body?: well... all my limbs and senses are mostly functional?
And least?: everything
Do you think you are good looking?: not by a long shot
Are you confident?: no
What is the fictional character you are most like?: my own RO character, Raelin... just wish I could actually get around to finishing her story
Are you perceived wrongly?: I don't know... few people ever really tell me how they perceive me... I'm just here
--
Do You...
Smoke?: no
Do drugs?: no
Read the newspaper?: no
Pray?: yes
Go to church?: yes
Talk to strangers who IM you?: not anymore
Take walks in the rain?: not when I can avoid it
Talk to people even though you hate them?: I've found ways to get around it
Drive?: yes
--
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?: no... it sounds gross to me and it seems to have a constant throat-frog so people can never hear me
Hurt yourself?: not intentionally
Been out of the country?: once
Eaten something that made other people sick?: probably not... unless the "other people" were allergic
Been in love?: yes, thanks
Done drugs?: no
Gone skinny dipping?: no
Had a medical emergency?: yes
Had surgery?: no
Ran away from home?: no
Played strip poker?: sort of
Gotten beaten up?: no
Beaten someone up?: no
Been picked on?: only all my life
Been on stage?: yes, but just at local school and church functions and stuff
Slept outdoors?: under tents, yes... but technically not much sleeping was done, no
Thought about suicide?: yes, but unfortunately I don't really believe in it so it'll never go anywhere
Pulled an all nighter?: not intentionally, but yes
If yes, what is your record?: probably just 2 days
Gone one day without food?: not to my recollection, if a piece of candy or something once or twice counts as food
Talked on the phone all night?: no
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: no
Slept all day?: I only wish
Killed someone?: no
Made out with a stranger?: no
Had sex with a stranger?: no
Thought you're going crazy?: crazy, no...
Kissed the same sex?: yeah, a peck
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: no
Been betrayed?: not in the traditional sense of the term, I guess
Had a dream that came true?: yes... hopefully never again
Broken the law?: I download...
Met a famous person?: if you count BLOOD
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: yes... I think it was an oppossum
On purpose?: bugs, frequently
Stolen anything?: not that I remember
Been on radio/tv?: yes, both
Been in a mosh-pit?: no
Had a nervous breakdown?: if I have I've done a good job of keeping them safely locked in so no one would notice, including me
Bungee jumped?: almost, but no
Had a dream that kept coming back?: yes... most disturbing was the one when I was younger where I would look down to find one wrist slashed...
--
Beliefs
Believe in life on other planets?: maybe not planets in this galaxy, but considering the universe is infinite and there are probably countless planets out there, it's very possible
Miracles?: sure
Astrology?: not really
Magic?: no
God?: yes
Satan?: yes
Santa?: no
Ghosts?: grey area
Luck: not so much
Love at first sight?: no
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: yes
Easter bunny?: no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever: yes... lucky for me I've been "blessed" with that ability
Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: no, there's just an end of a rainbow... I once saw one end in someone's yard... it was entertaining
Do you wish on stars?: no
--
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: what do you call "traditional"? I believe in both, but maybe not in the way others do...
Do you think God has a gender?: yes... specifially referred to as a He
Where do you think we go when we die?: don't feel like going into that... complicated
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: I have, but they've left just as eagerly as the straight "friends"
Who is your best friend?: Kitty
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Kitty
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: uh... not sure... I'd have to sit and think about it for ages
Your favourite inside joke?: a lot of them... apparently sleep deprivation is blocking my memory at the moment
Thing you're picked on most about?: anything people can find... staying up late and sleeping during the day, translating for free, being quiet, having no life... you know, the only things I have that are worth being proud of
Who's your longest known friend?: Erin
Newest?: oh great, one of those "among your friends, which one is..." series
Shyest?: I hate these... they expect you to have more than 3 friends to choose from...
Funniest?: they all have their moments
Sweetest?: Kitty, Stella...
Closest?: in terms of physical distance?... Erin
Weirdest?: everyone is weird
Smartest?: all of them in some way
Ditziest?: *shrug*
Friends you miss being close to the most?: I guess Jessica, if I'm reading this question right...
Last person you talked to online?: Kitty
Who do you talk to most online?: Kitty
Who are you on the phone with most?: I don't really use the phone
Who listens to your problems?: I keep most of them to myself (believe it or not)... but Kitty
Who do you fight most with?: none of them
Who's the nicest?: these are starting to sound repetitive...
Who's the most outgoing?: Roger
Who's the best singer?: I haven't heard many of them sing
Who's on your hit-list?: no one
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: no comment
Who's your second family?: I don't even feel like part of my "first" family most of the time...
Do you always feel understood?: rarely, but then I don't really bother to help people understand me either
Who's the loudest friend?: Willard
Who's house were you last at?: Kitty's
Name one person who's arms you truly feel safe in: ...nah
Do your friends really know you?: some know enough
Friend that lives farthest away: probably Stella
--
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: not in general, but for me personally it usually is
What do you find romantic?: I try not to think about it
Turn-on?: ...
Turn-off?: *shrug*
First kiss?: please don't remind me, I already feel sick today
If someone you had no interest in had interest in dating you, how would you feel?: flattered but guilty
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them?: I could not even attempt anything serious with anyone I didn't know I could trust with my heart... which is probably why I have been and will be alone all my life, but oh well... better than setting myself up for disappointment again
Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out?: I really don't care
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: if I grow attracted to someone they become the most beautiful person in the world to me... so can't really say
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I have a vagina... that automatically makes me a male magnet
What is best about the opposite sex?: I never could give a straight answer to that question
What is best about the same sex?: they can understand and sympathize with certain things, I guess...
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: they're only after one thing and they'll pull whatever stupid stunt they have to if they think they'll get it in reward
What is the worst thing about the same sex?: they say all they want is a good personality and a sense of humor, then they attach themselves to the first hot jackass that gives them the right look
What's the last present someone gave you?: $100 in a card
Do you consider your significant other hot?: my what?
--
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?: *shrug*
That you laughed at?: some dolt on TV
That laughed at you?: the world hasn't stopped laughing at me in years
That turned you on?: ...
You went shopping with?: probably Kitty
That broke your heart?: I've said it before, I'll say it again... I don't bother to keep a list
To disappoint you?: a certain cousin...
To ask you out: ...did we forget who we're talking to here?
To make you cry?: me
That you thought about?: same as I'm always thinking about
You talked to on the phone?: some guy looking for dad
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: Kitty
You saw?: mom
You lost?: good question
--
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: if you're talking in terms of the way a light or a flame goes out, then yeah, I'd say so
Will it be with your significant other?: ...
Or some random person?: moving right along
What are you wearing right now?: dark bootcut jeans and a plain grey baby tee... I actually had to go somewhere today that warranted something besides pajamas
Body part you're touching right now: my chin is resting on one hand because my head hurts too much to hold itself up
What are you worried about right now?: "worry" isn't the word for what I do... more like "obsess"
What book are you reading?: nothing
What's on your mousepad?: tiger stripes
Are you bored?: sort of
Are you tired?: yes
Are you talking to anyone online?: Kitty, in between movie scenes
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no
Are you lonely or content?: I'll let the reader figure that out
Are you listening to music?: no
Are you eating anything?: no
comment! (1)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 7/05/2006 11:26:00 PM
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wSunday, July 02, 2006 |
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feeling: tired of being me
listening to: Animal Planet
Ok, just for the sake of posting something, here's a survey. Sorry it's boring, but hey. That's me for ya.
1. First thing you did this morning?: debated whether to go back to sleep and subject myself to the dreams again or just get up and subject myself to life again
2. Last thing you ate?: this blueberry cheesecake ice cream cake thing dad made
3. Is your cell phone a piece of crap?: no, actually I sort of like it... just wish it had ringtones
4. What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 weeks?: ummm... I have no idea...
5. What's annoying you right now?: nagging doubts and fears and a need for reassurance and forgiveness that I don't normally have
6. What's the last movie you saw?: part of Lilo & Stitch
7. Do you believe in long distance relationships?: not for me
8. Is there a person who is on your mind right now?: yes
9. Where is the last place you went?: pastor's family's house for dinner
10. Who is the last person you called?: mom
11. Been cheated on?: no, have to be taken for that
12. Do you smile often?: do I smile at all?
13. Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?: I doubt it
14. Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity): gonna have to say creativity... call me realistic
15. Do you wish on stars?: no
16. Does it work?: can't imagine it would
17. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: no, too lazy to spend those extra two seconds tugging at laces
18. Would you kill someone?: doubt it, sadly
19. When did you last cry?: been a few days now... unless you count that one day when... never mind
20. Do you like your handwriting?: sort of, except my touch is too light so half the time it's too pale to read
21. Are you a friendly person?: not to my knowledge
22. Are you keeping a secret from the world?: not really, since I'll answer pretty much any question if someone just takes the time to ask
23. Whose bed did you sleep in last night?: mine
24. What color shirt are you wearing?: grey
25. Do you have any pets?: cat, 3 bettas
26. What is the color of your bed sheets?: light blue
27. What were you doing at 9 last night?: sitting here staring at some website or the TV screen, probably
28. I can't wait till...: ...I have enough money for a new car? no, that would require getting a job... hmm... oh well, pass
29. When is the last time you saw your dad?: a few hours ago
30. Look to your left. ...it's Strife's tank?
31. Do you own a picture phone?: yes... go yuppie me
32. Ever cried yourself to sleep?: technically no, only to exhaustion
33. Ever cried on your friends shoulder?: once, just over 6 years ago
34. Song that makes you cry?: Under The Sky by Heart
35. Are you a normally happy person?: no, I'm normally emotionless... believe it or not
36. Is your self-esteem low?: record-breakingly
37. What color are your eyes?: some mudded-up mix of blue and green and grey
38. Long or Short Hair?: as in what my own looks like? closer to long, I guess
39. Current Music?: some stupid commercial jingle
comment! (1)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 7/02/2006 12:45:00 AM
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