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wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
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I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
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wSunday, October 18, 2009 |
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feeling: tired
listening to: Queen - It's a Kind of Magic
Apparently Magnus' sickly spells are coming in some kind of cycle now. After my last post here, he was fine again for about 5 days, but then suddenly started having the same problems again... then about 3 days later he got better, then just today, he started looking miserable yet again. Only difference is that unlike the first spell he had, with these last couple flare-ups he's still been willing to eat. No idea what to make of these little cycles... I've never seen anything like it before. Not nearly this drastic, anyway. Literally, one day he's lying on the gravel panting and dying, and the next he's bopping around chasing my fingers and dancing for kibbles, then a few days later it goes the other way around. Weird...
In other news, Nekocon is coming up... and Suicide Ali's second US live (followed immediately by the third on the following night). Normally I'd be absolutely incurably psyched about this, but this time I'm just... really anxious, for a lot of reasons. To the point where I've actually had nightmares about it. Not like eek-scary-it's-gonna-kill-me nightmares, but the psychological kind.
But anyway, that's not the point... one of the things that makes this time more nervewracking is that I've done a lot more managerial-type stuff than I normally do when BLOOD or Suicide Ali has come here in the past. A couple reasons for that - first being that Kiwamu usually acts as the go-between along with Roger to get everything booked and arranged for them, but Kiwamu has been on a South/Central American (even I'm not sure anymore) tour for like, at least a month now, and won't be back until the end of this month. So instead I had to work with Roger on a lot of the booking and liaison work for the band, their staff, their Japanese fans who are flying here to see them, and our own US staff... which did not get any easier when Roger took off to spend 4 weeks in Japan, leaving me to tie up all the loose ends. Not that I mind all this, of course... it's just a lot more than I'm used to, and leaves me worrying more because if something goes wrong, it's just as likely to be my fault. I'm shouldering a LOT more responsibility than usual with this con - and all of this so far was just the tip of the glacier. The real test won't even start until we actually get to Virginia. It's kind of extremely frightening, and all the other anxieties I have about this con on both personal and professional levels don't exactly help matters...
Oh well... all I can do is buckle down and take things as they come, and just hope it will turn out to be a positive experience.
Anyway, back to spending the rest of the night dead tired but wide awake since I was so tired today I unintentionally took two naps...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/18/2009 11:33:00 PM
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feeling: sweaty
listening to: Maou BGMs stuck in my head
Been thinking lately that I should keep a college-rule notebook around to make into a sort of daily diary/journal thing. Not because I want to make all my blogging completely private or anything - I don't even have any idea what I would come up with to write in it - but just because lately, on the rare occasions that I do pick up a pen or pencil and have to write/draw stuff, I can actually feel the weakness in my hand compared to, say, when I was in college and wrote miles of notes and papers and stuff every day. I can also feel my lexicon of English vocabulary deteriorating... blogging more would probably help that to some extent, but yeah, the weakness of my writing hand strikes me more, I guess. And I figure forcing myself to write something every day - a diary entry, a vignette, a poem, a kanji exercise, whatever - might help both at once.
I think this hand weakness really hit me a few days ago when I actually did an art project for the first time in years. >.> Nothing major, even - just drew, inked, and colored some puppy paw prints on stationery for a 10 year old kid's gift - but after about an hour (yes, it took me that long to draw a couple dozen paw prints... I'm the slowest artist ever) of drawing, my hand ACHED. And let's not even think about the times when I have to make huge poster-sized sheet music for the children's handbell choir that I've been put in charge of for some mysterious reason. Last time I did that my entire arm hurt for days. I used to call myself an artist... not to mention spent hours every day furiously taking notes in various university classes... seriously, aging is a vicious process (and going sedentary doesn't help either, I'm sure).
Anyway... also seriously considering doing my best impression of a gullible American idiot and signing up with this travel agency-ish site that's holding a contest where a few winners are awarded a trip to Japan. 'Cause yeah, what are my chances of ever getting there otherwise if it's not handed to me on a silver platter, right?
I wish I was tired enough to go to bed... *ponders something to read until sleepiness hits*
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/08/2009 03:55:00 AM
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wMonday, October 05, 2009 |
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feeling: *sigh*
listening to: nothing
So Magnus has taken a sudden turn for the worse. And I do mean sudden; there was pretty much no change in him at all for weeks after I realized he was sick, and just this morning he ate his breakfast and swam around and was fine... but several hours later I looked over and he was lying on the gravel panting, and every time he moves now, it's in unnaturally rapid bursts all over the tank as if his tail was on fire. But the most gravely noticeable change is that he wouldn't eat tonight.
I'll be surprised if he makes it through the night, and even more surprised if he makes it to the weekend. He's acting almost exactly like Pixel did in the last several hours before she died (she was another case of a sudden turn for the worse due to a tumor). And I just ran 2 gallons of water to warm up overnight in preparation for a water change tomorrow, and just bought a new tank accessory for him a few days ago... guessing all that will go to waste now...
I wanted the next betta I get to be a female, but I don't think Petland ever has females anymore. Haven't seen any there since I got Pixel, I'm pretty sure. And if next year plays out the way I want it to, well... I dunno, but after Magnus falls, I might be out of the aquarist hobby for a while... and why is Firefox trying to tell me that "aquarist" isn't a word?
Oh well, back to whatever I was doing...
comment! (1)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/05/2009 10:51:00 PM
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