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wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
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I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
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wTuesday, April 30, 2002 |
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feeling: impatient
listening to: Princess Mononoke - Ashitaka and San
Freak it all, everything is down. Neopets is down, the forum I haunt is down, Ragnarok is about half-down (but then, it always is)... I cant believe Blogger's not down too. Impressed, I am. *clapclap*
I can't wait to get my Utena costume together~ Mostly cause I found out over the weekend that it just might not cost me as much as I'd originally expected. Ok, the outfit's components themselves aren't that bad - black and white shoes with red bows, red socks, red shorts, a black jacket. And a pink wig. It's the details that were worrying me - Utena's ring (which is like, 90% of her character and MUST be included), the finer trim and junk on the jacket, and most of all, the sword. I thought I was gonna have to carve one out of wood, which... yeah, I can see myself being motivated enough to undertake a project THAT big. *koff* But I found out that I can get a simple sabre from a marching band supply store for, like, $30.. some spray paint and Crayola Model Magic on the hilt, and I have me a Diosu no Ken. Now, it's mainly the epaulets and the green gem thingy on the jacket that I'm left mulling over. And the trim and accents on the collar and said epaulets. Hmm.
...Does anyone even know what the heck I'm talking about besides Dumpling? ^^; Um, if not, here is a slightly squinched but accurate pic. Shyeah. So, despite the few difficulties that remain, I can't wait to get this thing together.
Wow. This is the fifth week of the quarter. On the plus side, this means that spring quarter is juuuust about halfway over, and summer is that much closer. On the minus side, it also means my Japanese oral midterm is next week. *cry* This thing's going to destroy me. Every year I've gotten worse and worse at these orals. Last quarter's midterm I got an 87.5% on. And already this quarter's gotten off to a pathetic start for me in that class. My own fault, probably, but... well, as I mentioned before, the teachers are also getting ridiculously anal lately. That doesn't help.
On a lighter note, I discovered today that there is a street here in Columbus named Mooberry. How cool is that? Mooberry Mooberry Mooberry.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/30/2002 01:17:00 AM
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wFriday, April 26, 2002 |
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feeling: peeved at RO
listening to: Donna Lewis - Simone (sort of)
Ok. Let it henceforth be known that Colin Mochrie is not only adorable, he's also a freaking powerhouse. Any guy that can pick up two adult women, one in each arm, one of them possibly heavier than he is, and carry them across a stage, is ooooo-kay with me. *back gives out just thinking about it*
Ragnarok Online has been screwing with me since yesterday. First, all the exits in Prontera, my main haunt, have this habit of leading not to the outside world, but to the land of disconnectivity. As if that wasn't enough, today all the doors in Prontera just disappeared altogether, and so did the non-playable characters - that means no save points, shopkeepers, nothing. Someone at one point created a warp portal which I hopped into to get out of the city, and it was cool for a while, but then a stupid mutant butterfly killed me and I had to restart from my last save point - in Prontera. Stuck again. >_< Also, earlier today, I was just sitting there minding my own business, recharging my low HP, when this giant grasshopper beast comes up and starts pounding on me for no apparent reason. (most low-level RO monsters like these dont strike first, they just hop around till they're attacked) And since I was sitting/healing, which means I'm inactive, I wasn't paying attention, so by the time I realized what was happening, I was about one hit away from death. It wasn't fair. T_T So, long story short, I'm blogging again because normally I'd be playing RO this late at night, but since it's royally fudged up, I've abandoned it for the day and am left bored.
Hmm. Simone by Donna Lewis has been ruthlessly stuck in my head for weeks now. And I can't seem to find it available for download anywhere. *kicks things* Yes, I do have the CD, but... that's beside the point. :P Anyway... s'pretty song. Sad sounding... though it's not all that sad, I don't think. Seems to be about letting go of the past and moving on, which isn't as sad as... well, many songs I've heard. Like, Last Kiss as performed by an old friend of mine who I haven't seen in years. Rarely do songs make me cry... but her rendition of Last Kiss, somehow, choked me up. Sniff. Anywaaaay... Simone. Ever since I got this CD years ago, I've had a thing for this song, and I was never sure why. Maybe because it's called Simone, but the word Simone is never once mentioned in it. Maybe cause it's one of the sadder-sounding songs on the album. Maybe cause I like the name Simone. Not sure. I looked up Simone, by the way... because of my association of it to that song, I always thought its meaning would have something to do with sadness or loneliness. Actually, it just means "harkening". I dunno. Still pretty though. And I can just about guarantee that if I ever meet a real person named Simone, I'll automatically think she's sad and depressed and lonely. Blast you, Donna Lewis. Whatever happened to her, anyway? I Love You Always Forever was a sweeeeet song.
Umm... I've hit a road block on that Utena/WLiiA crossover fic I mentioned earlier. Four games are done - Film & Theater Styles, Song Styles, Hats, and Props. Next step is Film Dub. This one's tripping me up because the film clip I have in mind to use for the game is a Shadow Girls scene from Utena... but I haven't decided which one. I need one with the right length, one where the Girls actually do some stuff besides stand in funny poses and jabber, and one that occurs fairly early in the series so as not to spoil anything for the unfortunate fans out there who only own the first 13 eps. To find a suitable scene, I'll have to, of course, physically watch the ones I have to choose from. And probably memorize them, since I'll be writing in the cast members speaking along with the voiceless video. Ah, hard to explain. Watch a Whose Line ep with a Film Dub game in it, you'll see. :P
Typing in the dark isn't easy. Even when you don't look down at your hands to type. Which I only do... sometimes. o_o;; Strange really...
Oh, something else I noticed: my blog archives seem to be gone. I started this thing in late December last year, and just last week the full archives of every post between now and then were listed over there to the left. Now only one week's worth of posts is listed. Weird... oh well. Some things are better left unread, probably. Remember Asai? :P
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/26/2002 01:02:00 AM
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wThursday, April 25, 2002 |
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feeling: grr
listening to: The Colin Mochrie Hoedown
Because I'm bored, and because my Whose Line has been sacrificed tonight for a 2-hour special of The Bachelor *growls*, I'm going to make up one of those stupid surveys. And provide my answers, of course. Hey, got LJ or Blog? Use this on yours. Consider it open to all. Cause, well... it is.
Ok, let's see...
1. If your computer (or monitor) happened to be on the verge of imminent explosion, destroying everything within 6-8 feet of it, what is the ONE thing on your desk (or whatever surface your computer's on) that you would lunge to rescue? Computer is not a valid answer, cause that would be, like, really stupid.
My fishie. Cause books, equipment, and stuff like that can be replaced, but can't nothin' replace my Mitsu-chan.
2. Name the most surprising bit of news you've received in the past week.
Geez, am I making this hard enough for myself? :p Umm... either the fact that the BBC was going to film some stuff for a biology-type program in my biology lecture (which they did today O_O woot!), or that Meriko plans to have a... um, as she calls it, a Little. XDDD *can't wait*
3. Name one thing that you are wishing for right now, at this very moment.
A curse on ABC for pre-empting my weekly hour of giggleness. >_< Oh, I'd also kinda like to have some pop or something, cause I just ate pretzels.
4. If you could choose who you want to be reincarnated as in your next life, what kind of person would you be? And don't say someone who's alive now or used to be, cause remember, this is the future :P
I would be... a male. An attractive, smart, outgoing, popular, relatively athletic male who is an unmatched star in SOMETHING. Why a male? Because for most of my life I've stood by my conviction that womanhood sucks. It just sucks. The only two advantages to womanhood are the option of showing emotion and... heh, wouldn't you know it, I've forgotten the second one already. My point exactly.
5. Name a period in your life when you really thought your existence couldn't possibly get any better.
The ages of... oh, I'd say ages 15-17, something around there. Most people say those are the worst years in their lives, and in a few ways they probably were for me too... but even though high school was genuinely out to get me, I had non-school-related stuff then that I no longer have now, and didn't have before that. Stuff I can never have again no matter how hard I look. Stuff that is not of the physical, objective nature. Oh, I also got the internet when I was 16.
6. What is the highest numbered floor you have ever been on in a building? Think hotel, dorm, visiting a big bank headquarters, etc.
I spent a night on the 23rd floor of one of the towers here at OSU. That's the highest I ever recall being... uh, I also hit the top of some buildings in Washington D.C., but I forget which ones (I remember the old post office building), and those weren't really "floors". But yeah, that 23rd floor stay was for one night during orientation weekend. I love being way up high like that ^^ Too bad my single next year is only on the third floor... *sigh*
7. Are there any millionaires that you know of in your family? I mean BLOOD relation, not some distant great-great-step-aunt-in-law or some such.
Yep, at least two, I'd say. My mom's dad says that there're probably at least 12 millionaires in his family, including those two and others I don't think I'm really related to. He has a looooott of family.
8. Do you know any languages besides English? How fluently?
I did know a decent amount of Spanish - a four-class college course's worth - but I've forgotten a lot of it. And Japanese. Some vocab I learned from anime and music, mostly stuff that won't do me much good that I've learned from three college classes out of a four-course sequence. That includes the two kana writing systems, but not kanji. Well, I can recognize maybe 15 kanji. Out of thousands. Har.
9. Any posters, photos, or other pictures in the room around you? Describe 'em.
I'm not even gonna touch my roommate's side of the room. She's got LOADS of pics taped up everywhere. So, on my half, starting with the left... an oekaki by GlassShard of a very sexy, nearly nekkid Reno... next to it a wild animals calender, and this month's pic is a leopard... in front of me, a white tiger poster that Dumplin' gave me... to my right, a framed 5x7 of my impossibly adorable nephew giggling and holding up one fist as if to say *Rock!" XD... further to my right, a photo of my cat Ginger, upside down, looking devilish, and next to it a photo of me holding my nephy when he was just a day old... and still further to the right, on the side of my closet, is a big ol' Joe Cool poster. That's all. I decorate lightly.
10. What one breed of dog do you REALLY wish you had, but will probably never be able to own *sniffle*?
A Great Dane. They're so googly XD
11. Name one unusual word that you learned not too long ago that you think is really cool and you wish you had more opportunities to use.
Calyx. That's such a cool word. It means those tiny green bowl-shaped leaflike things surrounding the blossom of a flower, and that protect the unopened bud. *nodnod*
12. What was the last thing you drew/doodled/PaintShopped/oekaki-ed/whatever?
I started a nearly-full-body doodle of Symone, my Ragnarok Online character, in my Japanese notes this morning. Changed her outfit though, cause I don't care much for the RO Swordswoman outfit. Way impractical.
Ok, I think that's enough survey. I'm gonna go find something to occupy myself for the next half hour, till Whose Line comes on.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/25/2002 09:27:00 PM
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wWednesday, April 24, 2002 |
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feeling: pretty darned okay
listening to: Whose Line, Scenes from a Hat clips... again~
Okay, my Japanese teachers are getting really weird about daily grading. Specifically, they're getting strange, stupid, AND strict. Grr.
An example of the strange... one day last week my daily grade was a 3.5 out of 4.0, and here's the comment the teacher gave as to why: "Creating what you want to say is more difficult than just responding cues [sic]. I hope you will get to the point where you can produce sentences freely." Um... huh? Yeah, we did do an exercise that day where we had to make up a question to ask someone else, but I memorized my question down to the particle before beign called on to ask it, and I seem to recall reciting it a lot better than most others in the class recited theirs... geez. Heck if I know. Anyway, an example of the stupid: the week before that, another teacher gave me a 3.5 for not being able to immediately distinguish from each other certain hiragana that look almost identical. Wanna know WHY I couldn't tell the stupid things apart? Because that teacher's writing is BAD. Not only that, but it was on an overhead projector with a big ol' smudge right over what I was supposed to read, and the stupid little things were ridiculously tiny, in addition to being written sloppily. YOU try writing one of those hiragana with a fat Sharpie in a space about half the size of your pinkie fingernail, projecting it on a screen, and being able to read it from a good 10 feet away. grrr... I never did care for that teacher much -_- And finally, an example of the strict: that same week, a teacher gave me a 3.5 with the comment "Pay attention to the pronunciation including accents when you memorize CCs." Oh, come on. They KNOW that Japanese accents and intonation are incredibly weird and difficult for us baka gaijin (dumb foreigners). Not only that, but I DO pay attention to those accents, and usually that teacher is the only one of the five who grates me (or anyone else) for one measly little slightly misplaced accent. She is a Nazi when it comes to accents. I don't get it...
Oh, speaking of classes, we dissected in biology today. o_O Earthworms and grasshoppers. I did both of those in high school, but both were bigger, especially the worm... and both had also been dead longer, if I remember right. The worm, anyway. In high school, the worms were like, a foot long, and looong-preserved and yellow... today they looked no bigger than the worms we see here on campus on rainy days, and they were... well, fresh. Still pink. And they bled. In high school they were too well-preserved to bleed. *shudder* It was fun to play with the amputated hind leg of a giant grasshopper though~
Well, now I KNOW I've reached (or possibly surpassed) the point of minimum sanity. Today I drew Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie for the first time. *falls off a cliff* Well... hey, I've always wanted to draw them... they both have very cool face shapes, weird as that sounds. :P I did a slightly cartoonish Ryan in my Jap 231 notes, and an even more cartoonish Colin in my biology lab manual. But that one I don't really credit myself for, cause I stole the pose and idea from a fanart I found online the other day. ^^; Oh well. Them guys are fun to doodle. Darned fun.
This has been another pointless blog from yours truly. I shall now return to my regularly scheduled Ragnarok-ing.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/24/2002 07:15:00 PM
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wTuesday, April 23, 2002 |
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feeling: laughy
listening to: Whose Line, Scenes from a Hat clips
My biology teacher brought up something in lecture today that made the little rusty gears in my brain grind for a few seconds. Something I think I knew, but had paid no attention to previously. He was talking about how pain is the body's way of saying "don't do that again" - like when you sprain your ankle, it hurts to step on it because your body's telling you NOT to step on it. Well, that led into something about how some people just don't feel any pain. So for a second, I pondered that possibilty as a metaphor for pain other than the physical kind, and I thought, hey, I wish I were one of those people. But then he went on to say that since those people don't know when they have a wound or some other nasty stuff going on, they don't realize it, so it gets worse and worse and, since they don't notice it, they die. That was all pretty well summed up into one nice little sentence: Those who feel no pain die young. Oooooh, thought-provoking. I'm pretty sure I knew that before, but I never really gave it thought. I am now though. Has some nice literary potential. :P Ponder THAT, Willard :P
We also talked today about why pregnant women get sick. The conventional explanation is hormones, right? Well, thankfully, that wasn't enough for him. So we concluded that all that sickness and such that pregnant women get is her body's way of saying "Hey, you're expecting, so shape up". That brought up some interesting discussions about food. Food I've always considered harmless and, in fact, really healthy. Plants. See, plants have spent generations and generations being eaten and they didn't like it. You wouldn't either, admit it. So they developed a few things to ward off herbivores: poison. Now, we almighty humans *koff* have developed ways to engineer our food plants so that those poisons don't develop (at least not as much), but still. Did you know too much broccoli will make you REALLY sick cause it has mustard oil in it, and all those tiny green ball thingers in it are buds, and if you eat it after the buds open, it can kill you? Fun fact. Anyway, yeah. Most plants have at least some degree of poisoning, except the really sweet fruits that grow on them that say "hey, if they eat my fruit, they'll crap out the seeds and my next generation will liiiiive". Well, anyway. So we also talked about the stuff doctors tell pregnant women not to do, namely smoking and drinking, but pretty much anything that kills cells - junk food and above-mentioned veggies included. Said that in moderate amounts, those things might kill a few of our cells, but hey - we've got billions more, so why worry. Then it was added that for some time, babies are only made up of a few hundred, a few dozen, or just a few cells. And whatever mama ingests, baby ingests (that goes right up through breast feeding as well). And if just a few of that fetus' cells are killed... byebye baby. See now why you shouldn't smoke during pregnancy, expecting moms? One more point: it was discussed that when babies are just a tiny clump of cells or tissue, they don't need extra energy from mom, so all that "eating for two" stuff is bull. And, as mentioned above, tons of foods that we normally consider healthy, in too-large amounts, are bad for baby. Soda crackers and warm water are some of the only things that are truly safe during pregnancy.
See why I never want kids? :P
Anyway... um... my Whose Line obsession has been re-re-rekindled over the past few days. It happens every few months or so - I get to where I say, ah, I've seen pretty much all the episodes, it won't hurt to miss a couple tonight. Then I find some website or see a particularly hilarious episode or something, and the obsession comes back full force. That happened over the weekend. It was a combination of this awesome Ryan and Colin website that I found plus these Scenes from a Hat mp3s that I downloaded ages ago but never listened to much before. Holy mother of cheese, these are sweet. XD Sooo, why do I mention this here? It's a warning. Likely, you will start seeing many of my favorite Whose Line quotes in my next few days' or weeks' worth of blogs. It's also a means of informing the world that I have branched into the world of Whose Line fanfiction.
Feeeeear.
Well, actually... it's a crossover. My favorite non-anime show, and my favorite anime show. The main cast of Shoujo Kakumei Utena invades a taping of Whose Line. o_O; I think I've officially reached the point of minimum sanity...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/23/2002 05:08:00 PM
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wWednesday, April 17, 2002 |
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feeling: the inside of my lip hurts T_T
listening to: Ah! My Goddess - Denwa Shite Iwachan
Small correction on my last blog: I am using my Haneyuki account for RO, not my Symone one. However, the character I currently play IS named Symone. So if you're an RO person, look 'er up ^^ Also, an addition to the whole broken air conditioning deal in that lecture yesterday... today my lab teacher reported that the temperature in that hall while we were in there for about 80 minutes was somewhere around 100 degrees. Yes. If they don't have that fixed by tomorrow's lecture (during which time we have a quiz too *sigh*), someone will be hearing from me. No, seriously. That's the funny part... our lecturer (whose white shirt was soaked to yellowness with sweat yesterday, poor guy) said he was going to call someone about that, and if they didn't fix it by the next time we were in there, which is tomorrow, he'd give ALL of us that person's contact information. ALL meaning approximately 700 students and TAs. And he wasn't kidding - he's done it before. >D
Okay, I am now going to post a rather long selection from someone's post about human cloning from a message forum I used to frequent. This lengthy selection will be followed by a bit of preaching from me, which will probably be even longer. So if you don't want to hear it, or if you're just going to read it and follow up by flaming me for speaking my opinion, then just go somewhere else right now. Kay, here goes... oh, and my "sermon" will mainly respond to the second paragraph, but I'm going to include the two around it just to make it clear where this person stands. You can skip the first and third ones if you prefer.
And as for God's job, well what is that exactly? How do we know his or her or their job isn't to have us advance in knowledge and science? Every religion purports to have the exclusive knowledge or what god wants but do they really know? Well no, they just think they do and want to make others believe the do. Until any of us become a god ourselves and gain all the knowledge of life and the universe none of us will truly know what, if anything, god's plan is. So to say it's this that or the other thing is, imo, pure speculation at best, though others of course will feverently argue otherwise and that's fine.
Everyone ultimately has to answer to his or her own self and what they feel is right, but also we need to examine why we feel that way and if it really makes sense or is just something were taught to believe. Religions tell us a lot of things, some tell us to kill others (ahem, the middle east), some tell us people who love each other and are commited to each other are wrong, evil and sinful, some tell us that women or certain castes of people are unclean. It doesn't make these things right. Because my god/book/pastor/priest/rabbi/sheik/whatever says so is not good enough. We need to evaluate things on our own, both the positives any the negatives.
Do I think cloning is something that is always good and should always be supported? No. But neither do I think it's totally wrong or evil and should always be condemned. Like anything else, it is really neither. It is how the we as humans use these things that make them one or the other.
Let me first say that people like this were what made me decide to leave this forum a couple months ago. Now, don't get me wrong - they're (for the most part) great people, I respect and admire them, they're fun, they're cool, I like them. They have their opinions, they differ from mine, I have no problem with that whatsoever. The problem was that I was essentially the only person at the forum who believed something different than everyone else seemed to. I'm a Christian, right? And I'm a Christian who really, really believes in the Christian doctrines and who has total faith in it. Others there claimed to be Christians, but they would then turn around and say they didn't even believe in the Christian God. Most were aetheists, Wiccans, polytheists, something of the sort. And believe me, I have listened to their descriptions of their beliefs, even really studied some of them, and they really do sound interesting and beautiful to me - they're just not FOR me. I'm a Christian, always was, always will be. So the problem was that many people there were constantly discussing their stances on major issues, encouraging everyone who had an opinion to share it as well. So a few times, I did.
Big mistake.
Every single time I voiced my opinion, it was shot down. The most common things I heard included that I was close-minded, judgmental, and a bigot, just because I gave my reasons for believing what I believe as opposed to what they believe. I was in no way judgmental; I never once said that any of them were wrong. I even included little disclaimers at the end of my opinion posts re-stating that I am in no way trying to judge, and that I fully respect whatever opinions other people had. But that wasn't enough. I was still a close-minded, judgmental bigot. And here's the fun part. No matter how many times they told me I should have an open mind (which as I said, I DO, and they were told this many times), and said that THEIR minds were totally open, and thus I should be more like them, I still had those same people telling me that everything I've ever believed in throughout my life is nothing but a bunch of old stories made up by old people and not really useful in real life, and that what they believe must be true because they said so, and I'm wrong and close-minded and a bigot because I don't agree with them. Now, wait. I thought these people were open minded?? The world is a hypocrite.
But, I've been through that before. Now to my sermon.
The person quoted above (remember, I'm focusing on the bold paragraph) first says that "Everyone ultimately has to answer to his or her own self and what they feel is right, but also we need to examine why we feel that way and if it really makes sense or is just something were taught to believe." That's well and good. I can understand that people do need to have their own opinions and not just live the way someone else tells them to without really knowing what that other person is talking about. However, he forgets that sometimes those other people DO know what they're talking about, in accordance with their own beliefs. I won't base my beliefs on something some random old guy on the street says, but I will put my faith in what my pastor or my dad says, because I know their sources and am very familiar with them.
Now, he goes on to say: "Religions tell us a lot of things, some tell us to kill others (ahem, the middle east), some tell us people who love each other and are commited to each other are wrong, evil and sinful, some tell us that women or certain castes of people are unclean. It doesn't make these things right." First of all, I still don't believe that the "middle east" religion (Islam) actually told Bin Laden to kill people. I think he's just a mentally unsound old jerk who keeps hearing voices. I have taken part in Islam-centered activities, get-togethers, and concerts before, and I learned there that Islam is a beautiful religion, all about being strong enough to follow the way of love. I can not bring myself to believe that the God of a religion so dedicated to love could tell someone to kill thousands of innocent people. Second... I'm not sure which religions say that committing to others is wrong. Buddhism comes to mind - it dictates that in order to attain true happiness, one must abandon all ties to the physical world - including attachments to other people. Again, I think Buddhism raises some great points and sounds like a great thing, but like Islam, Wiccan, aetheism, and polytheism, it's just not for me. I accept their faiths; why can't they accept mine? And thirdly, the part that says women and certain people are unclean. Again, I'm not sure about the origin of that one. Seems to me like he's referring to middle eastern areas (we've all heard about the Afghan women), which are mostly Islam... but is that "unclean" stuff really something from an Islam doctrine? I don't recall it ever saying any gender or caste was unclean - remember, it's all about the way of love. I thought it was something decided by the governments of those areas. But I dunno. Anyway, finally, he says religion doesn't make these aforementioned things right. That I agree with. There are dozens of religions in this worls; not ALL of them can be 100% correct. But it's not about what religion is right for ALL of us. It's about what religion is right for EACH of us. He said that too, I believe, but this "(religion) doesn't make those things right" seems to kind of challenge it, because it is an attack, whether he meant it to be or not. Because I feel attacked when someone says that just because I believe something doesn't make it true. They're right. It doesn't have to be true for everyone. But it's true FOR ME. That's all I was ever trying to say. Why can no one understand this?
And finally... he says "Because my god/book/pastor/priest/rabbi/sheik/whatever says so is not good enough. We need to evaluate things on our own, both the positives any the negatives." This is a lot like the stuff he already said, but I see differences worth arguing. First of all, he restates that one should not believe something just because they heard it from some random source that could be unreliable. But what he's implying is that nobody should believe anything without asking THEMSELVES if it can really be true. What's wrong with this? Well... pretty much every religion says one thing or another that, face it, is REALLY far out. My own religion is loaded with them, I admit it. I can see why people find it hard to believe that this ordinary man, born in some cave to very poor, humble human parents who weren't even married yet, could be the Lord of all creation, or the Son thereof. And that's one of the LESS far-out parts of Christianity, probably. I understand what he's saying. But what he's forgetting is that little thing called faith. I believe my religion is true for my purposes even though I didn't actually physically see any of that Bible stuff happen. It's called faith. Faith isn't THAT hard of a concept; everyone has some of it. I mean, look at that chair you're sitting in right now. What reason do you have to believe that chair has no chance of just falling to pieces in the next 10 seconds? Now you're going to say, oh, this chair has held up for years now and never broken, why would it break now? Now restate that sentence with the word religion in place of chair: This religion has held up for years now and never broken, why would it break (or be less worthwhile) now? Christianity was good enough for my dad, my mom, their parents, and probably their grandparents; it was good enough for those slaves before the Civil War who had next to nothing except their faith in God... the list goes one. It was good enough for them, why shouldn't it be good enough for me? Because some random guy from this forum says otherwise? Doesn't that contradict the whole point of that paragraph in bold up there?
Anyway, he's basically saying that no one should blindly follow some religion just because someone told them to, and that everyone should do some serious soul-searching before they dive into a religion. That I perfectly agree with. But it goes further than that. He's implying that NO religion is as good as one's own mind and self-reliance. That's where I have to hold up one of those stop signs you see old guys waving at crosswalks near elementary schools at 3 p.m. See, personally, I can't fathom why someone would want to rely fully and completely on his or her own self. That's a LOT of responsibility, if you think about it. Oh, also, I get tired of seeing people favoring their beliefs over mine just because theirs are easier to follow. Where's the reward in following something that doesn't take any effort? What roadblocks are there to overcome, what tests are there to strengthen us, and who is there to help us through those trials, if all we believe in is ourselves? Well, there are a lot of roadblocks in everyday life, but I'm talking about the ones relating to religion. One obvious roadblock in Christianity is just believing it, in and of itself. Trust me, it takes time to reach a point where you can say you truly believe in this faith. Anyway. I would much rather believe that there's some supreme, divine, omnipotent, benevolent force behind everything that goes on in this world, than to think that there's no real point to life other than to better ourselves on an individual basis. Some find it easier to believe only in themselves; this I'll never understand. I find it easier to believe that someone out there truly, truly cares for me, who will continue to love me no matter what mistakes I make, and who has already taken upon His shoulders full responsibility for man's sinful nature, and given His believers a reason to shoot for that final Heaven. I'd rather believe that even though worldly life sucks and people are jerks, there's one being who can give me strength when I need it, who can pick me up when I fall, who can assure me that I'm forgiven and still loved when I do something really, really stupid... isn't that much easier to digest than total self-reliance? I can NEVER picture myself not believing all of those things, or just following my own way. In all honestly, I think I'd have taken my own life a few years ago if not for those very beliefs. That and I really do believe that the one person who has never judged me, and who I fully trust, really came into my life (well, we've known each other since she was a baby, but we really became close much later) when I first started having those thoughts. Coincidence? Nah, I like to think God sent me an angel. ^^
See what I'm saying? Some would rather think they're in charge of themselves, exclusively. THAT is what doesn't cut it for me. I'd rather have a bigger shoulder to lean on. I'd rather believe someone's already taken responsibility for people like Hitler and Hussein and Bin Laden, and has given them (or will give them) what's coming to them when the time is right. If people like that were really only living for themselves, they'd already ve in their own guaranteed heaven. Do we really want that for those kinds of people?
Anywaaaay... I'm not trying to say that this person quoted above believes all religion is wrong, and that everyone should just live for themselves. Because, to be honest, I don't know what he really believes. I just know what he's (well, not so much him as others on that forum I've been in "debates" with) saying about MY faith, and that's what I don't take well to. I let you live you way; why can't you let me live my way? All I'm doing is explaining why I believe what I believe, and why I don't believe what I don't believe. I never said any of it was flat-out wrong or lacking. Which some of YOU have plainly said to ME, and don't deny it. So don't call me close-minded. Again. And by the way, I am not trying to tell anyone what to believe, nor that anyone is wrong if they believe something different from what I believe. Whatever y'all believe is cool with me, and I guarantee I will NEVER judge you for it. It's not my place to judge. You believe whatever works for you; my opinion of you won't change because of it. If I know you, that is. :P
I have one more point to preach about, and this doesn't relate to the quoted passage up there. It's about suicide. I know WAY too many people who have considered or even tried killing themselves, for the stupidest reasons. I've heard them all: The guy I like doesn't like me back. I weigh too much. (you DO NOT weigh too much, by the way! >_<) People in this world whom I have nothing todo with are jerks. Someone doesn't like me and they won't tell me why. I just got dumped. I'm ugly. (once again, NO YOU ARE NOT... grr). And of course, My life is meaningless. Now, here's my take. Since my own little "salvation", if you will, a few years ago, I have come to believe that NO ONE's life is meaningless. If you had no reason to be here, then why would you be here? If man had no reason to be put on this earth, why was he put on this earth? You DO have a reason to be here, even if you don't know what it is yet. And believe me, for lots of people it takes decades, sometimes even a lifetime, to find that reason. Be patient. And don't even think about killing yourself for one of those other reasons I mentioned up there. Those are just plain dumb. Try to pass any of them off to me as a valid excuse to want to die, and you'll get a good 10-point drop in my esteem. My conclusion: Suicide is stupid. Suicide is not an answer. It will not solve anything, it will not make anything better. It will make things worse. Because believe it or not, there is AT LEAST someone, probably tons of people, whose life you will absolutely crush if you took your life. You want to do that to people who love you? That's yet another 20+ point drop in my esteem.
Notice I didn't try to use Christianity or any other religion in my argument that suicide is stupid. Tell me I'm trying to drive my religion down your throat. Go on.
There. I preached. That's been waiting to come out for months now... :P
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/17/2002 09:58:00 PM
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wTuesday, April 16, 2002 |
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feeling: extremely hot
listening to: nothing
Okay. Whoever is in charge of Independence Hall here at OSU needs to either get their fat, lazy butt in gear or get dragged out into the street and shot. It is "unseasonably warm" today - in other words, near record high temps topping 80 degrees, no clouds, no rain, very light breeze, moderate humidity. And I just came from said hall, after having sat in it for nearly an hour and a half through a biology lecture in a huge, jam-packed, well-lit lecture room holding probably about 700 people, right after most of those 700 people's lunchtime. With NO air conditioning. No fans or windows either. Nothing. It was extremely not-funny. Leaving that room and stepping once again into the 80+ degree air outside felt like a brief return to the ice age. That should give you some idea of the ridiculous conditions in that lecture hall. *retrieves washcloth that has been soaked in cold water and left in freezer for several minutes, and plasters it on face* Ohhh, that's heaven...
Anyway, I got Ragnarok Online working. ^^ And it won't let me delete two of those three accounts I accidentally registered, so I'll leave them for now and start out using the Symone one. Now to go begin exploring~
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/16/2002 03:14:00 PM
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wMonday, April 15, 2002 |
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feeling: hot and headachy
listening to: Whose Line's on
Clive Anderson is so cute. Some of his best ever quotes happened in the episodes I've seen just today:
"My caterpillar is perfectly hairy, thank you."
"What are you hoping to do, wear my finger out? I've had long years of experience with that finger!"
(Greg: "When's it gonna stop, huh? The aggression?") "When you give us our colonies back."
And these are just from the 3 episodes I've watched today. He hosted 10 seasons' worth of episodes. *glomps Clive*
Ok, the weirdest thing(s) just happened when I tried to download, sign up for, and install Ragnarok Online, an online RPG I've heard good things about and have wanted to play for some time. First I started the download, which I knew ahead would take at least an hour, so I decided to register an account while I waited. First decided to try the user ID Haneyuki, the name of one of my many alter-egos :P. Checked the availability, and it was free, so I filled out the form, confirmed, and it gives me the message "Try again~!" Um... huh? So I go back, check the ID, and it says the name Haneyuki is already in use. Wow, someone got to it quick. So I decided to try Symonne, a variation of Simone, which is a name I've always liked. Check availability - it's free. Fill out the form, confirm, and... "Try again~!" So now I'm pulling out my hair, thinking this must be a bloody popular game for new signups tonight. So I try one more time, very quickly filling out the form with the ID Symone. Lo and behold, confirmation is successful. I check my email for the confirmation notice, and there it is... I click the link, login, and voila. Symone lives. Well, then the setup file download finishes and I head off to install it. No such luck. "System cannot read the specified device." >_< *throws random objects* Then, just for the heck of it, I check my email. Guess what? There are THREE register confirmation notices from the RO site, not just the Symone one I'd confirmed earlier. I check the other two... and somehow, I now have 3 accounts. Haneyuki, Symonne, and Symone. *_*;;; I'll never understand... Anyway, so now my problem is that I can't decide which of those names to use and which two to delete. Haneyuki is more... personalized, I guess, since she's a character I created and am fond of and is an alter-ego and such... but Symonne and Symone are preeeetty... *sigh* And of course, the inability to install the game is another decent-sized chunk of problem... grr.
Ok, I'm finished. Everyone continue scrolling down now, and join with me as I drool over the beautiful pile of silver-haired oozy bishounen-ness that is Jeust Belmont. *drooooool*
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/15/2002 10:27:00 PM
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feeling: I wanna sleep
listening to: Sailor Moon - Watashi-Tachi ni Naritakute
One of my brother and sis-in-law's three betta fish finally died Friday night. And another looks like it could go at any time. They've had those things for a good 2 years, and it didn't seem to me like they've ever taken particularly good care of them... feeding schedule is all wonky, their water's taken up mostly by plant roots and very rarely gets cleaned/changed. I'm surprised they've lived THIS long, personally. We got to talking about bettas for a while, theirs and mine and the bettas in general, and they were quite surprised when I told them about all the cool stuff my Mitsu does... jumping to grab food off my finger, chasing his tail, the like. They didn't seem to realize a dinky little fish could be such great entertainment if cared for the right way. I can't blame them, really; I thought a fish was nothing but a little floaty pretty thing that needed fed every day, until I got Mitsu. He's my buddy. ^^
And now for another survey thing, because I don't want to do homework -_-...
1. WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR LJ USERNAME?
Well, I use Blogger, not LJ... so I'll use my Blogger username. Makes sense. The address (baranoblog.blogspot.com) I've explained before - Bara no Blog means Rose Blog, inspired by Utena - and my username is UtenaNoBara. I actually login using my email address though, but that's another story. Sooo... well, since you know what Bara no Blog is, you should be able to figure out Utena no Bara. Roughly, it's Utena's Rose, or Rose of Utena. Why? Because Utena is bloody cool, roses are a major theme of the show, and... um... it sounds cool? And don't get any ideas about me referring to myself as a rose that belongs to or represents a female character. Just don't. You'd be wrong :Þ
2. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MAKEOVER?
Nope.
3. NAME ALL MEMBERS OF THE BEATLES
ok, umm... John Lennon, Ringo Starr, George Harrison, Paul McCartney. wait, am I missing one...? >_<
4. WHAT'S THE LONGEST TIME YOU'VE STAYED OUT OF THE COUNTRY/WHERE?
Never left the US. grrrr.
5. ONE THING YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR, TODAY.
Today as opposed to every other day of my life? My parents. Their patience, in particular. I know it takes a lot of it to put up with me as they do. My dad, especially... that man's patience seems to know no bounds. It amazes me every single day.
6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY?
I have no pleasant memories of high school. I despised high school. Have mercy - keep it away from me.
7. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING.
Exactly that. A dream. In other words, I don't plan to marry.
8. MY FIRST HEARTBREAK HAPPENED WHEN I WAS...
Geez, um... I guess one could say I was... 17? Though it really just kind of gradually crumbled away over the course of a year or two, not just shattered all at once.
9. WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO THIS SUMMER?
As little as possible. Hopefully find a short-duration, relatively easy job to pay for OhayoCon in January. Otherwise... sleep, eat, enjoy our newly installed central air conditioning, watch anime, maybe buy more anime, and hang out with Dumpling.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW?
Chicken Bone from Cowboy Bebop~ woohoohoooo
11. WRITE A LINE FROM ANY SONG.
How about multiple songs? :P
"Unchosen angels have no need for wings" ~Utena ending theme, Truth
"The song remains like the haunting melody of angel music held in chains" ~Xenogears, Stars of Tears
"Somebody, with dry eyes, please cry for me" ~Cowboy Bebop, The Real Folk Blues
"But I can't heal this broken heart in pain; cannot start to live, cannot end my life, keep on crying"~X Japan, Art of Life
"Today I dream of friends I had before, and I wonder why the ones who care don't call anymore... my feelings hurt, but [snipsnip] I'm stronger now - there can't be a fire unless there's a flame" ~Seal, Don't Cry - my #2 anthem
"On an evening such as this, it's hard to tell if I exist... if I pack my car and leave this town, who'll notice that I'm not around? I could hide out under there... I just made you say underwear... I could leave, but I'll just stay - all my stuff's here anyway" ~Barenaked Ladies, Pinch Me - my anthem (this line actually describes a night in my life, down to every detail except the underwear part :P)
"I'm really moved by the chicken bone" ~Cowboy Bebop - Chicken Bone
"Friends are friends forever" ~Michael W. Smith, Friends (I just had to include this one so I could point out what a blatant lie it is)
12. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOUSE.
Gotta have a good-sized bathroom. I'm sick of little dinky cramped ones with about as much floorspace as there is inside a standard bathtub. And, uh... big living room, big bedroom, one room just to fill with my computer and stuff that defines me, such as anime posters and plushies and junk. LOTS of windows, big ones, including at least one of those huge bay windows I can sit in to draw and read and admire the scenery and such. Yeah, gotta be scenery outside too - a creek maybe, lots of trees - just not a cityscape. No linoleum, only carpet, hardwood, throws, and tatami. All the inside doors (not the outside ones, for security reasons) should be those Japanese-style wood-and-rice-paper sliding doors with fancy kanji and sakura and other pretty stuff painted all over them, and I want at least one room to be Japanese-themed, complete with a little kneely-table, tatami, futon, and one of those raised floor areas with mats to sit on and socialize and cook snacks and such. A biiiig, fenced backyard, with a full-sized underground pool and plenty of space for at least 2 dogs and 2 cats to run around... a peach tree and an apple tree, far enough away from each other that the lurvely smells don't muddle together... a raised porch... and a little koi pond off in the side yard somewhere. Also a few more acres off to one side for horses - 2 at first, but they'll breed and I can sell some of the babes for caaaaash. $_$
13. YOUR TYPICAL SLEEPWEAR:
Billowy, light plaid pants and an oversized, worn out T-shirt. If it's cold... heavy plaid pants or sweats, and a comfy old sweatshirt.
14. WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?
Geez. *digs it out* Ok, we got... my MOE card (dude, I forgot I was in MOE o_O), expired library card, 4 old concert tickets, AAA card, blood donor card, health insurance card, Ohio driver's license, a little card with my personal information, empty photo sleeves that I need to fill up with nephy pics ^^, and cash... in change pocket #1, more change than I feel like counting... and in change pocket #2, foreign coins and other cool change I don't plan to spend.
15. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR WALLET RIGHT NOW?
Well, as I said, the change pocket is waaay too crammed to count right now... and in cash, $278. o_O How the heck did I get that much...? OhayoCon Fund! XD
16. TELL US ABOUT ANY OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS.
My eleventh birthday was destroyed by a bike accident which happened the day before my birthday while I was riding down to the corner store to buy some cake mix. The irony. -_-; Got 18 stitches, 3 of which were in my tongue. I had scheduled a nifty skating party for the next day, but as I couldn't speak or eat solid foods and could barely walk and my face was a mess, that was cancelled.
17. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD SPLURGE ON IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE?
Trip to Japan for me, Dumpling, Silfy, and anyone else I know who wants to tag along. Two breeding horses, all expenses included. A large, large pool. ALL of my college expenses fully paid off by the time I graduate. And the rest I'd split between loads of anime on DVD and the bank, to build up some interest. ^^v
18. WHAT IS YOUR DAILY BEFORE-GOING-TO-BED RITUAL?
Leave computer, change into above-mentioned sleepyclothes and tiger slippers, collect toothbrush and toothpaste, proceed to corridor restroom, pee, wash hands, brush teeth, return to bedroom, replace toothbrush and toothpaste, sometimes pack my bookbag for next day's classes, take out contacts, turn off light and lock door (if roommate hasn't already), climb ladder to loft bed, readjust ladder position so I don't kick it in my sleep causing it to fall and take out everything in its path, set alarm for 8:25, lay on back, roll onto side, roll onto other side, repeat 12+ times, drift off.
19. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST/FUNNIEST NICKNAME ANYONE HAS EVER CALLED YOU?
My grandpa called me Beeky. o_O;
20. NAME THREE [3] OF YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTERS.
Well, at least you ask for three and not one. Erm... Anthy, Utena, and Snoopy. That's running the gamet, ne? :P
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/14/2002 09:19:00 PM
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wThursday, April 11, 2002 |
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feeling: hot
listening to: BIG, Puffy, Ma$e - Mo Money, Mo Problems
...because someone outside around the south oval was blaring that song as I was walking back from bio lecture just now. Yes. It is SUCH a perfect day today... warm, sunny, no clouds, no rain, not too humid, and juuuust enough wind to keep one sufficiently cool. If I had a bike, rollerblades, or a life of any sort, I'd be outside right now. The oval is absolutely packed with people tanning, reading, eating, playing frisbee, volleyball, catch, walking dogs, you name it... fitting for the first genuinely nice day of the year. And it's about freaking time. It's times like this when I almost, ALMOST, wish I had friends. (on campus, I mean. *long-distance-shnugs Dumpling-chan*) Only cause it's really hard to throw a frisbee to myself, not to mention it earns a lot of weird looks.
Ok, I had another one of my patented insane dreams last night. Summer break (the one that won't start for another 2 months) was ending, and I was moving back to campus for a new year. I was psyched because I would be living in my own room, a single, which I actually will be doing next year. ^^ *bounce* Anywho, so my mom (I don't remember if dad was there or not... bizarre in itself) was there with me, helping me lug my stuff around, weaving through move-in crowds, looking for my room with me. Now, in reality, I know exactyl where my room will be next year because it's in the same dorm I've lived in for 2 years. All the floors are the same. But in my dream, my floor was different - instead of one long, straight hallway, it had lots of branches and other hallways. and we couldn't find my room, for some reason. Well, we found the door with the number on it, but my nametag, which the residential advisors (RA's) make up and put on doors before move-in day (in both reality and my dream), was not on the door. All the other doors had nametags, mine did not. And it was locked tight. So me and mom searched around for possibly hours - I remember it was getting a bit dark - when we found a sign on the wall listing all the rooms on this floor which were temporarily closed for whatever reason. My room was listed. Because of a gas leak or something. *shrug* So we found my RA and asked him (him?) where I was supposed to live, and he directed me to a double in which two girls who appeared to be Japanese (or nuns with Asian accents, I couldn't tell), identical, and both named Juno, resided. Said I'd stay there for a couple weeks. This made no sense to me... it was a cramped double, but there were several other singles and a couple ridiculously roomy doubles on the floor which could've much more easily housed me and the other temporarily roomless girls. But, I met my temporary roommates - they didn't seem thrilled with my intrusion in their space, and they seemed to know each other well - dropped off my stuff, and went out to walk around the halls some more. Found a window at the end of one hall, with a sign next to it saying something about the reason the campus moved to this location this year was so that students could see right out their dorm windows the construction going on in the surrouding city. Guess where the campus had moved to?
Japan.
now listening to: Nanase Aikawa - Seven Seas
Don't ask me how. But I kinda wish it really would, actually... Anyway, so I stood there looking out the window for some time looking at the changing landscape of whatever Japanese city we were near to. It really was pretty. Then mom dragged me away. I forget why. Then I think I woke up. Oh, and another part of that dream: somehow, in the middle of it, I had been transported to the apartment where Willard, Paul (two guys here on campus that I know), and a couple of their friends were living. Large apartment, really, with a large basement that served as a rec room/loungey-type space. And Paul was deaf. o_O Must suck, since he's such a music guy in reality... um, also at one point, I somehow found myself inside one of those ridiculously roomy doubles I mentioned earlier. While searching for my room, I guess. But no... this double was, I kid you not, about 3 times as big as my living room at home. I assume you, dear reader, can understand that relation, since I doubt anyone reading this has never been in my home. :P It had a floor model TV, carpet, something like 4 big ol' closets, and more empty floor space in the middle than I've EVER seen in one room in my life, barring gymnasiums and such. And it was a DORM room, housing like, 4-6 people and "strewn" with their move-in day luggage and such. Insane.
now listening to: Ayumi Hamasaki - Evolution
Anyway, there you go. Another no-sense-making dream for yours truly. Although I left out the part where my temporary roommates shut me out of the room and turned into cats... I won't mention all details of that, cause it was just wrong :P, but I will say that at one point one of them pulled a huge bone out of the other one. I shan't say from where. But... a BONE. That must've been a side effect of my recent obsession with Chicken Bone. X3
now listening to: Cowboy Bebop - Chicken Bone
Ah, this song contains some of the funniest music-contained Engrish I've ever heard. For instance: "I left my head over the chicken bone", "it is good for your healthy life", and "from this spot and all my heart is chicken bone". wahahaaa *wheeze*
You know... on my way back here from bio lecture a little bit ago, I was actually planning to post a preachy blog. I never get to preach anymore... got a lot of it pent-up. :P I used to, back when I was still blind enough to believe there might actually be someone who'd believe, agree, or just NOT shoot it straight down. Just a couple months ago I finally got tired of hearing "You're wrong, everything you've ever believed in your life is wrong, what I say is right, and YOU need to keep an open mind to all beliefs like the rest of us, and don't you tell ME that I need to open MY mind because my mind IS open, you're just WRONG." The world is a hypocrite. Sooo, yes. I have learned that no one cares what I have to say, and no matter what I say and how, it will either be ignored, laughed at, or perpetually slammed against the wall. So forget that. You are spared from my little sermon. Dismissed. Now go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather with your friends, like I'm not about to do.
now listening to: Tenchi Muyo - Denpa no Unabara
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/11/2002 03:55:00 PM
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feeling: pretty darn decent
listening to: Cowboy Bebop - Chicken Bone
You know, Cowboy Bebop is one of the most hyped animes I've ever come across. I mean hyped by FANS of anime, of course, not hyped by the networks that overplay them, as is the case with Dragonball [insert some letter/number here that VERY obviously differentiates it from other Dragonball series 9_9]. I don't think I've ever spoken to anyone who doesn't like Cowboy Bebop. I've watched a few episodes of it, and so far... um, it doesn't seem all that special to me. ^^;; Of course, probably because it's Cartoon Network's dubbed and probably butchered version, and because I missed the first few eps and haven't seen nearly even half of it yet. Maybe if I got into it... I dunno. But I've heard it's really sad, which appeals to me. I like deep, moody stuff. So that's a start. What Bebop does have is some darned awesome music. Kanno Yoko-sama is just... *faint* I've never heard a Kanno song I didn't like. ^o^ Bebop's music especially though... it just... sounds so real, and heavy, and usually moody. Genuinely bluesy. Whereas a lot of other anime music is synthesized which can make it sounds kinda fake and unappealing, the Bebop music I've heard has real instruments and several of them, not just a synthesizer. Of if they don't, they've got one heck of a synther. *_* The OP song, Tank, for instance, has the coolest bass, majorly cool improv-sounding trumpet riffs, a whiny sax solo, and sweet, sweet tomtom-type percussion. And The Real Folk Blues... there are so many layers of guitar and wind instruments in it, and it has such a full, heavy sound. I have heard mostly-synthed songs, both Japanese/anime and American, that do sound pretty rich and inviting, so I'm not saying all fake music is bad. Enya and Enigma are good examples. And Bebop's own Chicken Bone... now THAT is a trippy song XD But there's a depth to those songs with real instruments that just... woohoo.
Can you tell I wanted to be a radio DJ in high school? Thank God I'm over that.
Ok, look at this code. if anyone recognizes this AT ALL, I fear you. :P
SM:4m- F:sUr+[+]:vA3+:pS+ D:sCh- X:*:a27s+[+]SSd+[+] O:d+:?s:?o:a+:h-[-]:?x P:a19:s55:w+[+]:f-[-]:eBGz:hBr+:t-:cWh:bO:*Cn:x-:r+|-
Any ideas? Anyone? I didn't figure. Iiiiiit's... my Moonie Code. *falls out window* In other words, it tells how big a Sailor Moon fan (or Moonie) I am, my loves and hates about it, and also some personal information. Kowai na. Ok, translation ahead. Sort of. I'm a level 4 fan (pretty average, not a hater, not a dubbie, not totally obsessed) who despises the nickname "moonie" with a passion... my favorite senshi (or sailor scout to you Americans :P) is Haruka, who I like quite a bit, but am not obsessed with, and all you people who know Haruka, STOP THINKING THAT :P... my favorite villain is the Amazon Trio, so far... favorite series is the third, Sailor Moon S... least favorite character is Chibiusa, the little brat... I've seen around 27 subbed episodes and enjoy them, saw most of the Sailor Moon SuperS series dubbed and wasn't crazy about it but *shrug*, have seen none in raw Japanese, and have read none of the manga. Then there's a section about some SM-related online magazines and clubs and stuff, and it says I know nothing about those and thus have no opinion of them, and that I actually do find humor and some truth in anti-SM campaigns and think hentai is pretty darn nasty. Then the personal info: I'm 19, 5'5", slightly overweight (which is a bit of a lie, but... in all honesty, I don't think I LOOK drastically huge... I just weigh far too much for my height -_-;;)... I'm single, but not looking... blue-green eyes, wear contacts... hair about shoulder length (though it's shorter now cause I just got it cut, but that's not in the code)... and I'm not particarly kinky but not a TOTAL prude either. :3 Aaaaand there you have it. Want proof that I got all that right? Just copy those lines of gibberish and paste them here.
As I said... kowai na. :P
Seriously though, Sailor Moon really is pretty nifty. But I prefer to avoid dubs and butchered Americanized/child-friendly versions, and I like only subbed SM. I got into it again over the weekend... watched a few hours' worth of S-series eps. I also have a volume or two of SuperS and the SuperS movie, all subbed, and have seen all of SuperS and its movie dubbed. Woo. But I haven't seen any of the first two or the fifth series yet. Doh. The stuff you've heard about it is probably true - it is terribly repetitive, ridiculous, cliche, and pretty old. But it's funny. And at times, it's cool. And as I said, you ain't seen ANY of it until you've seen it subbed, which I doubt you have (unless you're Dumpling heheh), so there. :P
...Chicken Bone rocks. >D Get it now! Be amazed! Gwahaaaa!
And now, off I go to Neopia. Go there. Sign up through that link. Play games. Become obsessed. o_o
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/08/2002 01:44:00 PM
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wSunday, April 07, 2002 |
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feeling: tired
listening to: Cowboy Bebop - Green Bird
Eck. Daylight savings time has once again given me a solid sharp kick in the butt. I only slept, like, 4 hours last night. It sucks in spring because I lose a much needed hour of snoozieness, but it's ok because it means no more waking up 2 hours too early to the blasted sun in my eyes through my 9th-floor east-facing window. And it sucks in fall because the sun rises waaay too early, and goes down waaay to early as well, but it's ok because for that one night I get an extra hour of much-needed sleep. I hate double-edged swords. Unless I'm wielding one in someone else's general direction, of course.
This is going to be such a long quarter -_-;; I figured out that I will spend approximately 3 1/2 more hours in class per week this quarter than I did last quarter, my bio lab is 3 hours long, all my classes are spaced about as far apart as they could be so I have to do considerably more walking, and already it feels like it's been about 3 weeks since spring break. It's been one week. *siiiiigh* But, the good thing is, none of these classes seem to have a large amount of intensive required reading or writing or anything, like, say, English last quarter. *shudder* There's the standard hour or so of Japanese language practice every night, and the daily assigned readings in bio and Jap 231 are only suggestions, not totally necessary. In fact, our bio teacher told us straight up that it probably wouldn't be necessary to even buy the main textbook - just helpful. I love classes like that. ^^
You know what I find TOO fun? Creating alter-egos for myself. X3 I have, like, eight or so now. *facefault* Of course, two or three of them I have sort of abandoned... but... yeah. First, there were four, all ice/snow/water/cold elementals: ShivaKat, Chibishi, KatShiva, and Chibika. I had an obsession... shut up :P Anywho, those are the ones I have essentially scrapped, except Chibishi cause she's adorable. She's a little lion-type cub thing, blue, long ponytail, snowflake and wind/water tattoos on her shoulder/thigh, chibi (anime "mini" style) version of ShivaKat, who I haven't touched in ages (though I still use the name at times... doh). KatShiva *gag* was remade and remade and remade yet again, and she is now Haneyuki, whom I adore. Blue catgirl, long blue hair with silver streaks, odd-colored eyes, lion tail, nifty jewelry (which I need to update again...), and the best part: Escaflowne-style wings that can appear and disappear at her will. Umm, and... Chibika, who was a chibi version of KatShiva, evolved into Yukiko, who I now believe is my muse. She's pretty much a chibi-Haneyuki, but with less jewelry, no wings, and a tabby-cat tail, though I may change some of that. But yes, she is adorable and sickeningly lazy. When she does wake up and get around, she's the cutest, perkiest, most giggle-inducing little spunk you've ever seen, but only for brief periods of time; mostly she just sleeps. Grr. Anywho, um... so the original 4 gave way to 2 more - that's 6. Then, later, came Bekki-san, who is a friend-of-the-main-character streetgirl in that anime/manga story of mine that literally came to me in a dream. Bekki wasn't in the dream, but I added her as a reincarnation of me, as I think I would look if I were an anime chara: pretty much my likeness, except skinny (of course) and with blue streaks in the front of her hair. She's frighteningly fun to draw. ^^ That's 7... then, just recently, I devised a new one, a human nobility-type girl with Bekki-san's hairstyle, but much more princess-y, and living in a part-fantasy world where humans and demihumans (animal morphs, like catpeople, merpeople, etc.) are becoming more and more separate, which she despises because she's in love with a human/creature morph. I won't even get into how that one came to be... o_O So that one, #8, is unnamed, and I really haven't worked on her at all since I first came up with the idea for her, but she exists. And, finally, I just last week designed an Utenaverse version of Bekki-san, who I don't really count as #9 because she's just Bekki drawn in a more Utena-esque style. Sleeker, more stylized hair, Kettousha uniform, and such.
So I have created a total of 8 alter-egos. o_O; I scare me...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/07/2002 11:14:00 PM
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wThursday, April 04, 2002 |
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feeling: bored
listening to: Whose Line's on XD
I'm bored as crap. So here's a survey. Wee.
Name: Becky Cottrill
Initials: BMC (actually RMC, but me no likey Rebecca soooo)
Age: 19
How old do you look?: um 19?
How old do you act?: either 8 or 80... depends who I'm around :P
Glasses / Contacts: contacts
Braces: nope
Do you have any pets: yep, 2 cats, a dog, a betta fishie
Your three worst qualities: 1) I have no life; 2) I speak up when I should keep my mouth shut, and stay silent when I need to speak up; 3) I have no life
What / Who makes you happy: Utena and Dumplin' make me happy XD
What / Who upsets you: pretty much everyone else
~~~Finish the Following Sentences~~~
I Love to: eat
I Miss: Ocean Girl ;_;
I Wish: it was summer and I had a pool
I Hope: the major I'm about to declare doesn't screw me over
I Pray for: strength and forgiveness (yes I'm a God girl, shut up :P)
I Am Annoyed by: my freaking computer buzzing >_<
I See My Life: plummeting down an endless... um, plughole or some such
I Am: bored
I Want to Be: eating
I Would Never: I decline from answering this question :Þ
I Will Always Be: a lonely non-speaking prude with no life
I Am Tired Of: people trying to force me to be social
~~~When was the last time you~~~
Cried: wasureta...
Eaten pizza: ummmm, probably like, 3 or so weeks ago *kicks diet*
Helped someone: I do not know
Bought something: too long ago
Worn a skirt: heh probably my graduation
Been sarcastic: me? sarcastic? neverrrrrr...
Went to the movies: last summer I think
Felt stupid: every moment of my life
Kissed someone: umm a couple years and Willard you say a word and I will injure you :P
Moved on: move on?? umm, this is me we're talking about... that's a foreign concept :P
Talk to an ex: I have no ex
Missed an ex: see above
Watched your favorite movie: I have no favorite movie
Talked to your crush: I have no crush (seeing a trend?)
Had a serious talk: *thinks* yesterday? day before?
Missed someone: I prefer not to dwell on missing anyone cause it doesn't help my situation any and I'll thank you not to bring it up :p harhar
Hugged someone: Sunday
Had a nightmare: last night *shudder* I think I almost fell out of my loft bed X_X;;
Fought with a parent: I try to avoid that since college started...
Got Dumped: never
Dumped Someone Else: never
~~~Last Things~~~
Last book you read: Gunsmith Cats manga X3
Last movie you saw in theaters: I do not remember for sure :P probably Final Fantasy TSW
Last Phone Number You Called: Dumpling's
Last show you watched on TV: Simpsons
Last song you heard: see top of page
Last thing you had to drink: Fruitopia
Last words you said: "You got the wrong number"
Last thing you ate: I'm eating peaches now
~~~Have You Ever~~~
Been in love: nah
Stayed home on Saturday night: let us not forget who we're talking about here :P
Thought you were going to die: sorta
Wanted to Run away: uh huh
Flunked a grade: nope
Skipped a grade: nope
Hiked a mountain: not a real one
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I wish
Been on stage: many times
~~~Friends Questions~~~
Cutest smile: George ^^ I haven't seen him in years... wonder what he's up to...
Who needs to smile more often: me... or so I hear
Looks best with a buzzed head: ... *sits there*
Cheeriest person: no one I know is cheery
Three traits you look for in a friend: trustworthy, genuine, open minded
Friend you have known longest: I've known Dumpling all her life ^^
Friend you miss the most: take a wild guess
Funniest: Silfy XD
Loudest: umm
Quietest: me
It's over: yay?
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/04/2002 08:14:00 PM
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wTuesday, April 02, 2002 |
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feeling: hot
listening to: TV - Tenchi's back ^_____^
Well, I just made quite possibly the most idiotic and excuse-less mistake of my life. I totally skipped my Japanese 103 recitation without even realizing it. *bangs head on wall* My first class today was 9:30, followed by a 10:30, then that class is at 11:30, but I somehow just totally forgot about it and went to lunch instead. Apparently my brain's internal clock skipped an hour, cause I knew I had biology at 1:30, which would leave me one hour to eat lunch. So there I was in Mirror Lake at 11:30, thinking it was 12:30 and that I had an hour to spare. After lunch I went to where my bio lecture is and sat there till 3 minutes before the start bell, wondering why the teachers were putting up East Asian geography slides and not biology slides. Then I looked at my watch. 12:27. And got up and bolted out of there. God, I can't believe I did that... now, daily grading/evaluations in the class I missed haven't started yet, so the skip won't really hurt my grade... and it's not like I haven't skipped classes before (I still got A's in them too :P)... but... what gets me is I didn't even REALIZE what I was doing. My brain just shut halfway down or something.
You know, I think it's partially because all this year so far I've had Japanese recitation at 10:30, but this quarter there is no 10:30 class, so I got 11:30 instead, and filled my 10:30 slot with a different class. I've been used to going directly to recitation from lecture on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then getting lunch. That's pretty much what I did today - went to 9:30 lecture, then my 10:30 class, then got lunch. Just forgot my 10:30 was a totally different class, and forgot the class I used to have at 10:30 is now at 11:30 and aaarrrrrrgg. I have never been that idiotic in my life. Completely forgetting I had a class?? *kicks own shins* Or maybe I'm just not awake... I dunno, pretty much all day today I've felt like I'm living in some kind of dream. Almost everything I've done today I did without thinking, and my mind just feels... blank. Empty. Add to the equation my extreme tiredness from recent lack of sleep for some reason I'll never really know, and there you go. Someone pinch me, please.
Seriously, I NEVER do that. Walk around for a whole day not thinking about anything at all. Those little rusty gears in my brain are constantly grinding away for one reason or another. Songs stuck in my head, writing stories and brainstorming in my head, thinking about where I'm headed next and what might go on there... and of course some more abstract thoughts I'd rather not list here... :P ...either way I ALWAYS have something on my mind, and I always think "ok, I am in this location now, I am headed to that location, rechecking, yes, destination intent confirmed, now proceed putting one foot before the other"... and stuff. But today, I had almost none of that. I feel like a robot... programmed to follow these exact routes as if blindfolded, never questioning, never thinking ahead, never feeling or showing emotions, walking around as if blindfolded... I mean, I can't really remember about 2/3 of the walking and other stuff I did today, already. I don't think I can describe it any better. But... it's driving me insane. Wherever my brain is, it needs to get its lazy butt back inside my skull and stay there.
Oh, if any of you reading this know me personally (hey, precautions are good), PLEASE do not mention any of this in front of my parents. :P If they ever got wind of me just forgetting to go to a class, they'd go berserk and lecture me for hours and hours about how disappointed they are in me losing my head and the importance of being a perfect little android who does everything exactly right and never ever makes a mistake. Because, of course, they're perfect; they would look bad if their their daughter displayed signs of imperfection during one brief day in her life. Also, every single morning for the rest of my college career, I'd get an email or phonecall saying something to the extent of "Don't forget you have class today at such-and-such-o'clock." And I HATE when they do stuff like that to me. -_-
Erm... *rereads last paragraph* I didn't mean to turn that into a rant in the middle... my apologies. *sigh*
...Ok, anyway...
I just opened up the bag containing the textbooks and folders I bought a while ago, and inside is a little thingy of Sure Clear Dry deodorant. I want to know how and when this got here, and exactly what whoever put it there is trying to tell me. o_O
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/02/2002 05:00:00 PM
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