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feeling: hot
listening to: TV - Tenchi's back ^_____^
Well, I just made quite possibly the most idiotic and excuse-less mistake of my life. I totally skipped my Japanese 103 recitation without even realizing it. *bangs head on wall* My first class today was 9:30, followed by a 10:30, then that class is at 11:30, but I somehow just totally forgot about it and went to lunch instead. Apparently my brain's internal clock skipped an hour, cause I knew I had biology at 1:30, which would leave me one hour to eat lunch. So there I was in Mirror Lake at 11:30, thinking it was 12:30 and that I had an hour to spare. After lunch I went to where my bio lecture is and sat there till 3 minutes before the start bell, wondering why the teachers were putting up East Asian geography slides and not biology slides. Then I looked at my watch. 12:27. And got up and bolted out of there. God, I can't believe I did that... now, daily grading/evaluations in the class I missed haven't started yet, so the skip won't really hurt my grade... and it's not like I haven't skipped classes before (I still got A's in them too :P)... but... what gets me is I didn't even REALIZE what I was doing. My brain just shut halfway down or something.
You know, I think it's partially because all this year so far I've had Japanese recitation at 10:30, but this quarter there is no 10:30 class, so I got 11:30 instead, and filled my 10:30 slot with a different class. I've been used to going directly to recitation from lecture on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then getting lunch. That's pretty much what I did today - went to 9:30 lecture, then my 10:30 class, then got lunch. Just forgot my 10:30 was a totally different class, and forgot the class I used to have at 10:30 is now at 11:30 and aaarrrrrrgg. I have never been that idiotic in my life. Completely forgetting I had a class?? *kicks own shins* Or maybe I'm just not awake... I dunno, pretty much all day today I've felt like I'm living in some kind of dream. Almost everything I've done today I did without thinking, and my mind just feels... blank. Empty. Add to the equation my extreme tiredness from recent lack of sleep for some reason I'll never really know, and there you go. Someone pinch me, please.
Seriously, I NEVER do that. Walk around for a whole day not thinking about anything at all. Those little rusty gears in my brain are constantly grinding away for one reason or another. Songs stuck in my head, writing stories and brainstorming in my head, thinking about where I'm headed next and what might go on there... and of course some more abstract thoughts I'd rather not list here... :P ...either way I ALWAYS have something on my mind, and I always think "ok, I am in this location now, I am headed to that location, rechecking, yes, destination intent confirmed, now proceed putting one foot before the other"... and stuff. But today, I had almost none of that. I feel like a robot... programmed to follow these exact routes as if blindfolded, never questioning, never thinking ahead, never feeling or showing emotions, walking around as if blindfolded... I mean, I can't really remember about 2/3 of the walking and other stuff I did today, already. I don't think I can describe it any better. But... it's driving me insane. Wherever my brain is, it needs to get its lazy butt back inside my skull and stay there.
Oh, if any of you reading this know me personally (hey, precautions are good), PLEASE do not mention any of this in front of my parents. :P If they ever got wind of me just forgetting to go to a class, they'd go berserk and lecture me for hours and hours about how disappointed they are in me losing my head and the importance of being a perfect little android who does everything exactly right and never ever makes a mistake. Because, of course, they're perfect; they would look bad if their their daughter displayed signs of imperfection during one brief day in her life. Also, every single morning for the rest of my college career, I'd get an email or phonecall saying something to the extent of "Don't forget you have class today at such-and-such-o'clock." And I HATE when they do stuff like that to me. -_-
Erm... *rereads last paragraph* I didn't mean to turn that into a rant in the middle... my apologies. *sigh*
...Ok, anyway...
I just opened up the bag containing the textbooks and folders I bought a while ago, and inside is a little thingy of Sure Clear Dry deodorant. I want to know how and when this got here, and exactly what whoever put it there is trying to tell me. o_O
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 4/02/2002 05:00:00 PM
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