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feeling: drowsy and headachy
listening to: Utena - Rinbu Revolution
I didn't get to play Threads of Fate near as much as I hoped to this weekend. I could've beaten it in 2 days if I'd actually gotten my butt out of the computer chair Saturday. But alas... such is life. Played it some today, but came across a part that is currently impassable for me until I fight the same scorpion-like monster over and over and over again for a couple hours to build up my MP... grr. There's gotta be another way. Cause like, that gets REALLY old after a while.
I still smell faintly of my nephew~ *squee* Got to see him today. Lord, talk about a happy baby. I sat there and held him while my dad made his favorite toy, a giraffe rattle thing, dance around on the table, and that kid just laughed his little head off. I've never seen a kid so happy... ^u^ In fact, after maybe five minutes, he'd laughed so much he wore himself out and napped for about an hour. God, I love that baby. *feels all warm and fuzzy* Oh, he's also cutting two teeth already... at barely over 5 months old. That's about a month early. ^o^
Today was Graduation Sunday at my church. Much weeping and blowing of noses and hugging and such. Aaaarg, now I made that evil "Friends" song get stuck in my head... *~* Now, see, that's a pretty song and all, but... ah, I won't go into it. Anyway, err... I remember my graduation. It sucked. As did most every other aspect of high school for me. My hair looked all nice for my ceremony and stuff, for about 10 minutes... then it for no reason lost all appearance of having been worked with and fell into complete and total horridness. And I had to give a speech. And my evil band director made an idiot of me multiple times. The only cool part was my dad handed my my diploma. ^^ Cause he was on the school board, y'see... and since there were around 60 seniors (a small number, but still a lot to have passing by one by one while one poor person hands out all the diplomas) my dad and another board member or two traded off between diploma-handing, and he made sure to be the one to hand me mine. Twas a nifty thing.
Hmm...
Guess what? BIG Utena Spoilers Ahead. You know the drill.
Ok, this will be the last installment in my series of blogs based on my search for the meaning of Anthy's glasses. For a while. *pounds head on desk* Actually, I owe this theory to Dumpling-chan, who somehow manages to sit there and read through ALL my Utena blogs (and all my other ones for that matter) without falling over dead of boredom. She read my last one about my two failed theories on the meaning of Anthy's glasses, and then she made a comment to me about it that made so much sense. And you know, I KNEW it, I just for some reason didn't THINK of it. Why, I have nooo idea. That doesn't mean I'm taking the credit for thinking of it though :P Thankya, daisuki, for reminding me!
So, just as a refresher, I shall restate the two theories I had that failed: 1) Anthy's glasses were Akio's way of making her see ONLY his reality, and 2) the glasses were Akio's way of making her see everything BUT his reality. Now here's the sort of corollary (whatever... just wanted to use a big word XD;;) that Dumplin' suggested: Akio's manipulative methods, on occasion, just plain don't work. This is true. I actually honest-to-bob did think of that before, when contemplating a different aspect of the show, but for some reason it slipped my mind with this glasses stuff. But anyway, here it is. My only problem now: it can apply to both of my old theories. And it does explain some things, but still, there are a few situations where it doesn't seem like it fits. Like the curry episode, where Anthy-in-Utena's-body says it's "so much easier to see without glasses". Akio really had nothing to do with that story in terms of manipulating people and events, I don't think, so this new subtheory doesn't seem to fit there. There's other examples I don't feel like expounding on now... but yeah. So I'm not much further than I was before. >_< *weep*
But this new suggestion did make remind me of that new scene I mentioned in yesterday's blog... the one that threw off my first theory, where Akio beckoned Anthy but she was still wearing her glasses and didn't go to him and he had to grab her, and stuff. Applying the new theory - sometimes Akio's manipulations just falter - works there. Because a little earlier in that same scene, Akio was asking Anthy how she felt about Utena. So she was remembering some recent conversations and stuff she'd had with Utena lately; moments that reinforced/strengthened their relationships. Heart-to-hearts, where Utena asked Anthy to open up to her more; stuff like that. So, Akio was asking Anthy about that stuff, and then all of a sudden just said "come here", but she was still thinking about Utena and thus didn't respond. So you can see how the new subtheory works there: if Anthy is thinking about Utena, or if she and Utena are having one of those tooth-rottingly sweet moments, any manipulation by Akio just doesn't work.
And see, this is even further proof that Utena truly was Anthy's prince. Remember a couple blogs back, where I summed up the scene where Dios told child Utena that his little sister Anthy, only recently condemned for eternity as a witch, could only be saved by a prince she believed in? Well, throughout the series, starting around the 10th or 11th episode, one of the central themes is that Anthy has no will of her own. She does and says what her current dueling champion (Utena, 98.9% of the time) wants her to do and say, nothing more. And when her champion's not around, she's *koff* her brother's sister. But see, I never really believed all that. There were a few scenes between her and Utena that told me Anthy did have desires and actions and thoughts of her own. Example: in episode 11, when Utena and Anthy were sitting in their dorm recalling the events of the day at school; namely, they'd shared lunchtime with good ol' Wakaba. In that scene, Anthy, with no provocation from Utena, wistfully said that she wanted to have more friends. I believed her, because, as I said, Utena didn't provoke her to say it in any way. In fact, Utena had tried to say stuff earlier to Anthy about her needing more friends, but finally she stopped and said "But that's right, you have Chuchu. He's more fun than 10 people, right?" or something like that. (Chuchu, of course, is the little monkey-mouse that lives with Anthy and, according to Anthy throughout the first series, is her only friend) And as soon as Utena said that, Anthy got quiet. Then, for the first time, she said she WANTED more friends, like Wakaba. Actually contradicting the last words that Utena had spoken. See now? She does have a mind of her own. But only when Utena's around.
See, she believes in Utena, which makes her the prince who will save her from eternal suffering, as I mentioned before. And this also means that Utena is the only one who can give Anthy the confidence to speak for herself, to have her own desires and thoughts. When Anthy's alone with Akio, or when she's apart from Utena, she's just her brother's sister, unless she is directly questioned by who she's around about her feelings toward Utena, at which point she starts to think. Therefore, Utena, her prince, is the only one she believes in, the only one she can even come close to being herself around.
So basically, I'm still stuck on the glasses thing. But the faltering of Akio's manipulations, of which Dumplin' reminded me, does support my other theories about other important parts of the show. So thanks, Dumplin', for reminding me. Maybe we'll work it all out someday. ^-^v
Anyway, since I'm beginning to make no sense, I digress. I will now talk about one of my favorite scenes in the whole series. This doesn't really contribute to any of my theories or anything, I just love the scene. It's so sad and sweet. Kay... it begins waaaaay up at the top of Akio's tower, where, you recall, Utena and Anthy live as of episode 27 or so. This is a HUGE tower. Insanely huge. And symbolic of course, but we won't go there. >:) Well, it's nighttime, and Utena is in the bedroom wondering where Anthy is. She then looks out the window, and there's Anthy, standing on the edge of a rail-less balcony-type thing, obviously about to take a biiiiig step. So Utena runs out and asks her if she's running away, to which Anthy says she's sorry, don't worry about her anymore, and she can no longer take the pain. She then lets herself begin to fall. But Utena grabs her arm and pulls her up. Anthy begins to cry, again apologizes, and we begin possibly the most touching scene in the whole Utena series.
...Actually, that's not till later. :P Utena saves Anthy from the fall, then we see the beginning of Utena's duel with Akio, in which Akio has begun to win before the swords are even drawn. Because he's jabbering about stuff that makes Utena lose her confidence and feel all guilty and unprincely. His main argument is that Utena never cared how Anthy felt; that all this time, Utena was only dueling for her own selfish reasons. To become a prince. Not to save Anthy.
And then the balcony scene continues, as a sort of flashback. Utena and Anthy are now overlooking the balcony from whence Utena had just kept Anthy from jumping to her death. And thus, the tear-jerking (to me at least :P) dialog begins...
ANTHY: I'm sorry, Utena-sama. I'm so sorry. Because I'm the Rose Bride... because I'm a doll with no heart... I thought that no matter what befell my body, my heart wouldn't feel the pain. I'm sorry, Utena-sama. My suffering is my rightful punishment as the Rose Bride. But... making you suffer... you were merely caught up in it all... I knew everything. I exploited your innocence. I encroached upon your kindness. I'm sorry, Utena-sama. I've been unfair to you. I'm a dirty woman. I've betrayed you all along. I...
UTENA: No. I... didn't recognize your pain. I didn't realize your suffering. Instead, I just kept on pretending to be the Prince who could save you. I was just being conceited about protecting you. And when I saw you and Akio-san together... I even thought you had betrayed me. When you were suffering so much... when I had said we should save each other... I'm the one who's unfair. I'm the one who's dirty. I'm the one who betrayed you.
ANTHY: It's okay now... so please... leave this school. Please forget about all of this.
UTENA: How... could I do that? That's right. There's no way in hell I can do that.
Lord, I get all teary just reading that... ;_; Anyway... yes, very heartfelt scene. And thus ends the flashback. Now we cut back to the Utena/Akio duel. Utena, having remembered that teary conversation, remembers her true reason for wanting to fight: to save Anthy. Not only that... but to save her from Akio. At that point, the battle really starts to go her way. She has Akio on the run. He's sweating, backing down, stumbling over himself... it's great to watch. >D Sadly, it doesn't last long before Akio grabs poor Anthy and throws her in the middle of it (bloody coward >:O)... but that's another story. I just wanted to say something about that amazing dialog there, where Anthy and Utena really reach the true realization of their relationship. It is in this scene that Anthy first begins to really, truly believe in Utena as her prince, and also in which Utena realizes that she's not fighting for herself, but for Anthy. It's the turning point in the final battle. I love it.
Well, it's the first turning point. The second is where Akio, wuss that he is, can't fight back against Utena so he throws Anthy in the middle of the fight to do his dirty work. Anthy, having received her orders, steps behind Utena, looking extremely sad. Then she closes her eyes and leans against Utena's shoulder as if to say goodbye. Then when she opens her eyes, they're... evil. Cold, blank, evil. I call it the witch look. She dons it a few times in the series. *shudder* Ecck, it's shiver-inducing... Anywhooo, so at that moment, Anthy rams the sword through Utena's back. T_T Sad... so farking sad...
God, I love this show. *sits there with goofy grin on face*
Heh. If you've kept up with all my Utena blogs up through now, you're probably thinking I must be running out of material. This is, what, the 4th, 5th spoiler blog I've done? Oh, but there's SO much more. I have not even BEGUN to babble. >:) Kahahahahaaa~ *die*
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 5/20/2002 12:46:00 AM
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