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feeling: yuck
listening to: nothing
Studying sucks. I've been studying for... probably 5 hours now, not counting the very brief period where I dozed off... and in all that time I managed to stumble through approximately 2 1/2 pages of notes. 6 or so to go. Not counting the stuff I still have to read in the textbook. And tomorrow I'll have... oh, maybe 4 or 5 hours to study, if I'm lucky. Then maybe 3 hours Monday afternoon right before the stupid midterm. Think I can get through 6 pages in the same amount of time it took me to get through 2 1/2? -_-;; Not that it matters, of course. I could study for the next 24 hours solid and still not be ready for this test.
You know, it seems like all I do is complain, doesn't it? But in all honesty, I love college. If you gave me the choice between 1) college with all its scheduling woes and impossible classes and long nights of cramming, or 2) high school with its cake classes and spending no more than half an hour studying for any given test... I'd take college in a heartbeat. In college I don't have to put up with the preps, the jocks, the jerks, the angst, the backstabbing 'friends'. In college people would rather wear an enormous wool coat and fuzzy mittens and a scarf and a ski mask AND earmuffs and look dippy than to wear nothing but a trendy jacket for the sake of looking cool. Because people in college have common sense. Well, most of them. A lot of them. Enough so to sacrifice fashion for well-being. Another great thing with a big college like mine is, you don't know anyone. Even if you made some mistakes or bad impressions in the past and turned some people off, whether you meant to or not, college is a totally fresh start with people who neither know nor care who you were before. Heck, even I could've made friends at college if I'd cared enough. :P
Not only that, but I swear, I love my major. I don't care how weird it is or how hard it'll be to find a good money job in it when the time comes. I don't even care anymore that every single person reacts to learning what my major is by shrieking something along the lines of "JAPANESE??!!!" or "WHY???". You wanna know why? It's FUN. The more I learn, the more I want to learn. Even when I have to spend 3 or 4 hours per night on Japanese homework, it's not work to me, because I love it. They say if you do what you love and love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. And that is why I decided to pick something I like and find a job based on that rather than pick a career path and base my entire college experience on it and risk losing interest in it. That's also why I didn't major in art or any of the other ideas I left high school with - I took a course or two in the field of each of my original ideas, and found they weren't what I expected them to be. And I didn't want to spend the next 4 years wasting my time doing something that's supposed to be fun but turns out to be nothing but a chore. Ruins the experience, as well as the rest of your life, unless you're willing to spend four MORE years preparing for another career track.
There's a lesson here. Don't base the entirety of your life around a decision you made during your teenage years - the most turbulent years in every human being's life. Don't decide on your major years before you even start college. Go undeclared for a year. Take general requirements and electives in the field(s) of whatever you're interested in. THEN, after you know what to expect, make your decision. It's a whole lot easier than following your childhood dream only to learn that it's just gonna drive you insane in college and changing your major halfway through and dooming yourself to more years in college than you ever bargianed for. I mean, look at me... I left high school extremely interested in art, writing, journalism, and classics, and ended up declaring a major in Japanese - after taking two courses of it purely as electives. I had NO Japanese experience prior to college.
Bottom line - Don't be in a freakin' hurry. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't risk throwing it away.
Heh, look at me, lecturing high schoolers. I only know one high school person who regularly reads this blog, and she's already too level-headed to need to hear this. :P
Hmm. The only thing that sucks about college is the general curriculum requirements. I'd be on cloud nine if I could take nothing but Japanese classes. But instead I'm stuck in this stupid mammalian anatomy class, tearing apart a poor pretty kitty and memorizing the names of every freakin' bone and muscle and organ and gland and major vessel in it, busting my butt studying for a midterm I know is going to chew me up and spit me out. All this only shortly after getting all depressed over scheduling problems, which came right on the heels of 3 other midterms. At times like these I often catch myself muttering 'College can bite my toe' or 'College sucks' or some such. If you ever hear me say that, do not take me seriously. Think of how a couple very close friends might act... like when one has something cool happen to them and the other is jealous but at the same time happy for them, they'll affectionately mutter 'you suck' and bop them on the arm. Yeah, it's kinda like that.
*bops college on the arm*
Back to studying now. Ugh, my neck hurts.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 2/23/2003 12:37:00 AM
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