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feeling: contemplative
listening to: Dir en Grey - Embryo and BLOOD - Prayer are stuck in my head... take your pick, they both rock
your jrock alter ego is - izam!
who is your jrock alter ego?
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That's the only one today, I promise. :3 Seriously though, if you'd seen me laughing my worthless butt off when I was doing all those ones I posted last night, you'd have... I dunno... become very concerned for my safety and that of those around me. :P I think I took the 'Whose Dir en Grey ass could you claim' one 50 times, just because it's a riot. And the Mana/Kimura Takuya thing... sweet ape farts, I thought I was gonna implode.
So today as I was walking through the dorm's basement on a not-so-short-but-indoors-and-therefore-warm-and-dry shortcut to Mirror Lake to get dinner, I heard someone in the music room playing Battle Hymn of the Republic on the piano. And that got me started thinking. Yes, thinking. Go hide now while you can.
My first thought was, oooh, I like this song. It's all triumphant-sounding and such. And my next thought was, wait, why do I always say I like stuff because it sounds triumphant? What is it about me and the concept of triumph? It's not like I've experienced a lot of it in the course of my life... why should it make me happy? And then I realized... it doesn't, really. It just... inspires me, I guess. And I realized that there are a ton of general concepts and stuff that I like to ponder about, not because I relate to them in any way, but just because they inspire me. To think, to write, to draw, to daydream, to do something I otherwise wouldn't bother to do. Like, triumph/victory is one example... others include love, peace (as in quiet tranquility, not as in world peace and lack of war), dreams, flight/wings, eternity, happiness, impermanence, and simple aesthetic beauty. Not just one moment of peace, or one particular dream, or one victory, etc etc. Just the overall concepts. There are more too, but I can't recall them at the moment.
Anyway, why should any of those things do anything for me? Anyone who's known me personally in the last few years will tell you I'm not exactly the sunny, cheery, lovey, optimistic type. Concepts like victory, love, and happiness should make me want to hurt things, not create things. Like I said, I haven't exactly been showered with love and happiness and victory and peace in my lifetime. But... I don't know. When something reminds me of any of those concepts, I start to think. In a positive fashion. Then, typically, I suddenly feel the urge to go write or draw something. It makes little sense.
Yeah, I have no idea why I just said all that. Just something that made me think today. Not many things manage to do that anymore.
Something else I thought about today, inspired by something I read online sometime Sunday: when asked where he would fly if he were to sprout wings on his back, Takeshi of BLOOD replied "To the hospital." It took some time for that to register with me, but as I was walking across the Oval between classes this afternoon, I somehow remembered that, and had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud and freaking out innocent passers-by. Seriously, think about it. If someone presents you with the possibility of sprouting wings on your back and gives you the opportunity to go anywhere with them, what do you think about? Places you've always wanted to go, things you've only ever dreamed of seeing, right? People forget the fact that if they were to suddenly sprout additional appendages from their back, they'd probably find themselves in a whole buttload of pain and bleeding profusely and not sure what's going on. And what do you do when you're in pain, bleeding profusely, and don't know why? You haul tail to the hospital, if you have any sense. No one ever thinks of that. I never would've thought of that. It took me 2 or 3 days to realize how much sense it made after I heard of Takeshi-san saying it. I love BLOOD. ^_^
That's all I got for now. Away I fly.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/29/2004 12:34:00 AM
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