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feeling: restless
listening to: nothing
I got so bored I decided to blog about a whole bunch of nothing. Aren't you excited?
So, wanna see something cool I discovered? Go to Google and search for 1) the URL of this blog, 2) just 'baranoblog', or 3) the title of this blog (in quotes). You'll notice that my blog has its own link in the Google database now. That's never happened before. Wil Wheaton, watch your back. :P *snort*
Tomorrow is going to suck. I just know I'm gonna get back to the dorm only to find my precious stud Sekiray lying lifeless at the bottom of his tank. He's been showing his age for at least 6 months now - that's a pretty even half of all the time he's lived with me - and in the past 2 weeks he just declined so fast I couldn't believe he was still breathing when I left Friday afternoon. He wasn't eating well, refusing pellets completely, sometimes refusing or spitting out bloodworms, and all he'd do all day was lie on his side at the bottom breathing hard, looking pathetic. I'll honestly be surprised if he's still there when I go back... but maybe that would be better, because if he's not, I'll have to change his water the next day, and I know that would stress him closer, if not right to, a very literal death. I'm gonna miss my little stud. No, I miss him already. I've been missing him since he first started to go downhill, months ago. I hate seeing him so helpless.
Anyway... not only that, but I have a ton of homework that needs to get done when I get back. And nephy's going to be here tomorrow, so we won't get to leave here until after dinner. Which means that if I do have to tear down poor Sekiray's tank when i get back, and THEN do homework... urg... it's going to be a very long day. Then sometime this week I need to decide on a topic and a medium for the big project required in my Japanese lit class that's worth 50% of the final grade. That's all she's calling it - a project. The medium can be anything from a regular research paper to a group presentation to a miniature Noh performance, or something even more insane. No doubt mine will end up being a regular paper... though she'll probably require it to be, like, 15 pages or some such ridiculous length. Yeah, if this point wasn't driven home a couple months ago when I was doing that term paper for history last quarter... I HATE LONG PAPERS. Die die die.
So... moving on...
Remember when I said I wanted to learn Para Para? Yeah... never mind. >_> I learned this really simple little Para Para routine from an Ayumi Hamasaki concert clip I downloaded by accident ages ago, but... it's like, Para Para for 5 year olds, seriously. Took me 10 minutes to master it. Then the other day I found a video of some professional (?) Para Para troop that goes around performing and such, as troops tend to do... and... yeah. I was not born with that kind of coordination. Sigh. It looks so bizarrely fun, too...
Ow. My sides are achy. Which is weird, because it's due to the fact that I've been doing situps again, and you'd think situps would make your abs hurt, not your sides. Fuh. Yeah, I realized a few weeks ago that I was starting to gain weight back, and I decided I preferred being able to see my toes, count my ribs, and wear jeans 4 sizes smaller than the size that commonly cut off circulation to my legs about a year ago. So I still eat, but I do situps in the morning in an attempt to either stay steady or keep the gain under control (i.e., put fat somewhere besides my gut). They never worked before, but... I dunno, if my sides ache, then maybe they are now, one way or another.
So for a month or so there I all but abandoned my dream log thingy. For a while I kept at the thing like crazy, recording every detail of every dream that I could remember... then for some reason I kinda stopped having coherent dreams. They were all just little bits and pieces that I never could remember by the time I woke up. Maybe because most of that time I was on winter break, and actually getting full nights' sleep, instead of being awakened by my stupid alarm at various stages in the sleep cycle, as during the school term. They say you only have dreams in certain stages of sleep, and that you only remember dreams if you wake up in the middle of them. Anyway, then just in the past week or so I started keeping it up again. I've recorded 2 and ignored 2... the ignored ones were ones that I remembered pretty well, but that freaked me out so bad I woke myself up shivering and feeling half sick, so I figured I'd save my sanity and not record those.
I like my dream world, though. I have some fun little advantages there. Like, I often know when I'm dreaming... I can recall several dreams in which I said something like "good thing this is just a dream" or "I'll have to remember all this when I wake up." That's always cool. Plus, I have this ability to continue unfinished dreams, picking them up right where they left off, as long as I have the time to fall back asleep. I've had dreams come in 5 or more separate parts before, each part separated by up to a few minutes of wakefulness, and each picking up where the prior part left off. I've even "finished" a few dreams, as if they were movies or something. It's great. Dreams give you a chance to live out your dark side and explore the things you fear from the safety of sleep. You know that big glowing squidlike beast is likely to tear you apart, but you also know that soon you'll wake up and be in one piece, unscathed and quite alive. You know all your morals prevent you from crossing certain boundaries in life, but when they're presented to you in dreams, they're fair game - you can indulge in them, then wake up and know that you still haven't crossed that line in real life. Dreams are great things.
Murr... that's enough random nothingness for now, I guess. I'm getting stiff from sitting up. Time to lie around reading Dark Comes the Morning until I can't keep my eyes open anymore.
Sweet dreams. :P
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/19/2004 01:59:00 AM
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