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feeling: crampy >_<
listening to: Gackt - Death Wish
I was right... when I got back to the dorm yesterday evening, Sekiray was not here to greet me. He was long gone. I sent him home with mom and dad, where he'll remain whole in a freezer until next time I'm home, when I can bury him myself. I wasn't here for him in his final hours... least I can do is send him off right.
Seriously, he was the most gorgeous fish I've ever seen. I'm almost certain he was genuine breeder's stock, probably culled from the stock of a local breeder who thought he wasn't quite up to standard for some reason... maybe he was just a bad father, or maybe he was a 'retired' stud. Betta genetics are not my forte, but I saw evidence of extended red, opaque (solid white), marble, butterfly (two-colored fins), and combtail in him, at the least... the end result was a deep, deep maroon fish with a brilliant sheen to his body (that would be the opaque layer), red and white marbled semi-butterfly combtail fins, and possibly coolest of all, very pale, almost ice-blue eyes. That had to be the opaque layer showing through too, since most of the time red bettas have red eyes. Photos could never do him justice, not even close. There'll never be another like him. All I can do is remember...
I heard the voice of the wind
I want to know the rest of the dream
No one will tell me
My chest was smeared red...
I only want you to understand
Why I must go back...
Far off in this endlessly continuing white Earth
The voice that cries out no longer reaches anyone
As if to conceal this body's pain,
Embraced by kindness from the heavens...
The moon reflected in those eyes is pretty
Even as the night is unfinished
Far off in this endlessly continuing white Earth
The voice that cries out no longer reaches anyone
Deeply into this endlessly continuing white Earth
I'm still falling and cannot be healed by anyone
As if to envelop that small body,
Embraced by the kindness of the Sekirei...
Lie at rest with kindness from the heavens,
Embraced by the warmth of the Earth...
~Gackt - Sekirei ~seki-ray~
...yes, the song for which Sekiray was named. I'll always be so proud of that name. And every time I listen to that song, I'll turn up the volume so he can hear it, just like I always used to when his tank was right here next to me.
But anyway, I'm not planning to get another betta anytime soon. I've still got Phoenix, and lately he's got enough punk attitude to fill 10 bettas. Besides, I'm tired of cleaning out two tanks every week. The next betta I buy goes into a 5 gallon tank, which I can cycle, and thus never need to do 100% water changes on. But it's useless to cycle a tank when I'll have to take it home for spring break, start the cycle over, then bring it back here, start it over again, then take it home for summer break and AGAIN start the cycle over. Not worth it. So until this school year is over - at least - it'll just be me and Phoenix. I'm cool with that.
Ugh, stupid cramps. I swear, it's been years since I last had cramps. I should've said yes when my parents offered to send their heating pad back to the dorm with me.
Oh yeah, did I ever blog the story behind that? Ok, so exactly one day after I took my very last dose of Prevacid (my ulcer treatment, yay), which was mid-December, I was sitting in my room watching Family Guy when I felt a familiar ache twisting up my stomach. It got gradually worse, until it was just a few notches below that initial pain that sent me to the emergency room in November. So I went downstairs and told mom, scaring her to death, then went back to her room and laid down in a full-body stretch on her bed, with my arms up over my head... and within 45 seconds the ache was gone. Poof. It had to be just a muscle cramp kinda thing, so I shrugged it off and went back to watching TV.
BUT! Then, I think just the very next day, the same thing happened AGAIN. Only this time, lying flat on my back in a full-body stretch didn't help in the least. So my mom was freaking out, but dad remained calm (it's a gift he has that never ceases to amaze me) and dug out a heating pad, which he flopped over my gut. And ta-freakin-daaa... within 45 seconds, again, the ache was gone. Two back-to-back scares, and they both turned out to be insanely coincidental ab muscle cramps.
Sooooo that's why they offered to send the heating pad here with me. Oh, and no, the cramps I'm writhing through now are NOT the same kind I was having those two nights in December. Ahem. >_>
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/20/2004 07:40:00 PM
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