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feeling: annoyed
listening to: nothing
This is one of those 'never a dull moment' days. If you count the middle of the night, at least.
For starters, last night I had one of the most vivid dreams I've had in a long time. By vivid, I mean there are parts that even now, hours later, I can remember right down to the detail. To be specific... in my dream, I was sitting in a lawn chair in the driveway in front of my home, with a few family members/friends around me. I don't remember who they were or what we were talking about... but be patient, I'm getting to the vivid details. So we're sitting there talking, and I happen to glance over to my left, where I see a sudden commotion on the ground. Raised by two tiny little creatures that resembled a cross between squirrels, chipmunks, ferrets, and something infinitely cuter (and not much is cuter than ferrets to me, so that's saying a lot :P). They were slightly smaller than chipmunks, had bushy tails like squirrels, were nearly as long-bodied as ferrets, and had color patterns I've never seen anywhere before. So upon seeing these little beasts frolicking around, I uttered some sort of squee that got everyone's attention, and then we were all looking at the creatures, who took the hint and began to look very interested in us too. I reached my hand down, and one of them came right up to me, climbed onto the palm of my hand, sniffed and chittered, then scrambled right up my arm, wound around my shoulders a couple times, and finally nuzzled its way into the hollow of my neck, happy as could be. Elliciting some profuse verbal gleeing out of me, naturally.
This is where the detail comes in. I swear I remember every bit of fur on that little rodent's body. It was all shades of brown, tan, and gray, with a couple black stripes down its back that continued down the outer edges of its bushy tail. Inside those stripes on the tail was a white streak, and there was another white patch on its belly/chest. Besides that, what I really remember is the contrasts - it was coal black, snow white, ashen gray, cinnamony tan, and cherry wood brown all at the same time. And it had these big, sparkly black eyes... and I even remember the feel of its fur and whiskers and tiny claws against my skin as it explored my hand. I was in love, dangit.
Of course, somewhere over the remainder of the dream these creatures grew up until they resembled small cats more than anything else - their cool colors and tail-bushiness even decreased as they grew - and only THEN did we decide we'd better take pictures of them before setting them free. That was the weird part. Well, that and our discovery of some uncharacteristically adorable rodent previously unknown to the entire world making a home in our backyard. But them growing to cat-size was weirder.
So that was the first weird thing. Then I woke up and puttered around and went on to psychology class, where I encountered the second never-a-dull-moment moment. So in that class with me is Paige, a girl I went to high school with, right? She was a year under me, very smart, very dedicated, valedictorian in her class, AND everyone seemed to like her. That's a rare combination for non-jocks. Anyway, so she showed up and we talked a little, and then she received her graded midterm from a couple weeks ago. Then she asked me if I remembered the necessary grade to pass this class, and I didn't know, so we guessed it to be 60%. Then she said something like, "ok, that's what I got on the first midterm, so as long as I pass the final on Wednesday, I'm good to go."
Now, I understand that most college students would be perfectly satisfied just to pass and move on, and this only seems strange to me because I have damningly high standards for myself, hurled upon me by various circumstances throughout the course of my life, which require me to come as close to an A as possible in every class I take in order to survive. Everyone else is fine with getting on by the skin of their teeth; I'm just weird. But Paige?? She was right on top in high school, and not just in her own class... smart, dedicated, disciplined... she was valedictorian for a reason! I never, ever figured her for the type to just settle for a passing grade. Anyone else... well, except me... but not her. Of course, I'm just as bad for judging her as the teacher's pet kind of student when in reality I didn't know her THAT well... but I saw enough. I'm not judging, just saying. Her losing those high standards would be like me losing mine - I never asked for mine, I never wanted them, and if I could go back I'd have said screw them and done my own thing and tried to just be happy instead. The difference is I can't get rid of mine... I don't know her situation, no, but I was still floored to hear that from her. Just like anyone I knew from high school would've been floored to hear it from me.
So. That was my second topic of interest. Then, I'm walking home from psych, and I happen to spot a female cardinal in a tree. Big deal, right? They're all over the place around here, males and females alike, and males are the notoriously pretty ones - bright red, not drab brown like the female.
But you know what? I actually stopped to take a look at that female cardinal. And I realized that she was far more pretty to me than her fire engine red mate was. I think I've known that for some time now, but for some reason it really dawned on me today. I think it was her beak. You know how both genders of cardinal have that really bright orange-red conical beak? You don't really notice it on the male, because he's bright all over. But on a dull brown female, it stands out like the stump of a freshly severed thumb.
I've been studying Japanese too long. Know how I know? Because all this is a classic example of Japanese wabi aesthetic. Wabi basically means finding beauty in imperfection and incompleteness, not in perfection. one with wabi aesthetic finds a moon obscured by clouds more attractive than an unhindered full moon, a white flower with a single torn petal more attractive than a perfect unadultered blossom, a simple misshapen homemade copper bowl more attractive than an intricately made and decorated china plate, etc etc. Now I find a dull brown cardinal with a brilliant colored beak more attractive than a cardinal that's brilliant all over.
I love my major.
Which brings me to my next never-a-dull-moment moment.
After geology class, I went to Cunz Hall to hunt down my advisor, because I have to complete my major program form before I turn in my application to graduate, and I have to do both of these before this quarter ends, which happens in the middle of next week, if I want to graduate in June. And I've emailed this guy twice in the past month, and have seen no response, so I went to find him. But lucky me... he's not even in the same office he was in last time I had to meet him. So I went through two floors of that building looking for his name on an office door, but such a door did not exist. So I tried stopping by the main department office to ask who I'm supposed to see if not him, but no was was in there, either. So I wandered around both floors again, searching still more and with still no luck, and then checked the department office again, but it was still empty. So I left and went to buy some graph paper for a lab assignment I have to finish before Monday, happy happy joy joy, and then returned to Cunz to visit the department office again. STILL no one there. Finally, I gave up and stopped to make an appointment with an honors counselor to take care of my application to graduate, thinking at this time of the quarter if I did so now I might be lucky enough to get in by Friday. Well, as it turned out, my appointment was set for Wednesday afternoon. And I'm supposed to do my major program form BEFORE my application to graduate. So basically I have... well, tomorrow, to figure out what the fook is going on in my major department; it's either that or walk on water to move the appointment I just made to a later date, which I'll probably have to do anyway, that or waste the counselor's time with a second appointment.
I just wanted to graduate with the rest of my class... *curls up in a corner and engages in incoherent muttering*
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/08/2004 11:13:00 AM
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