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feeling: ...
listening to: BLOOD - Taiyou ^_^ (translation: Sun)
Guess who'd rather do ANYthing but homework?
What is your name?: Becky Cottrill
Are you named after anyone?: no
What's your screename?: ShivaKat9, plus 3 others only a select few know about
Would you name a child of yours after you?: never
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: that would be up to my parents, no? interesting though... they knew they wanted to name their first child Chris, so if my brother had been a girl he would be Christina... and both of us have male/female versions of the same middle name, Michael/Michelle... ok, I'm done being off topic now
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: a friend? uh... dunno, but I'd gladly take Asai2's middle name
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: yes, only about 2 or 3 people have pronounced my last name right the first time since I started college. accent is on the first syllable, not the last.
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: either that or change it, yes.
BASICS
(1) Your gender: female
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: open minded :P
(3) Single?: yep
(4) Want to be?: some days yes, others no
(5) Your birthday: June 23
(6) Age you act: I can act 8, or I can act 80... but most generally I probably act abouuuut... 18 or 19
(7) Age you wish you were: 15
(8) Your height: 5'5"
(9) The color of your eyes: blue, but only my eye doctor can tell :P
(10) Happy with it?: I wish they were bluer... dark blue though, not that uber-sparkly sky blue
(11) The color of your hair: brown
(12) Happy with it?: not really, but given the chance to change it, I don't know what I'd change it to
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: right
(27) Your family: parents, older brother
(29) What's your job: I've said it before, I'll say it again... what job?
(30) Piercings?: one per ear, but I haven't worn earrings in years
(31) Tattoos?: no
(32) Obsessions?: the computer, J-rock/visual kei, wasting time, ice cream, and frozen mocha/latte drinks
(35) Do you speak another language?: nihongo daisuki!
(36) Have a favorite quote?: several, but none actually come to mind
(37) Do you have a webpage?: 3 blogs, a Livejournal, two image-hosting servers, one of which is full... I think that's it
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: no, I'm a child of my past
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: I'm quietly intolerant. on the outside I appear to have infinite patience, but on the inside I'm usually screaming and wishing with all my heart that I could tear their lungs out through their nose and feed them to a pack of wombats.
(40) Do you have any secrets?: why yes, I do
(41) Do you hate yourself?: usually
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: actually I kinda do... except it's too light
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: don't know if it counts as a habit, but I have NO attention span anymore. I'm supposed to be doing 2 weeks worth of backlogged linguistics reading now, but I just read half a chapter and sat down here and started typing this. more... hmm... oh, I always do that leg/foot shaking thing, like people do when they're nervous or have to pee. and I constantly mess with my hair - not out of vanity, just because it's always in my eyes and driving me insane.
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: recently, that I've lost so much weight... but that won't last much longer I'm pretty sure =_= *pinches resurrected fat roll*
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: hmm... All Hail Murphy's Law?
(46) What's your biggest fear?: I have some kind of social phobia
(47) Can you sing: when I want to
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: no
(49) Are you a loner?: yes
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: no... I'd look upon me with contempt and, like, freaked-out-ness
(52) Are you a daredevil?: *snort*
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: what would I fear about myself? >_o lots of things I hate though... I'm indecisive, useless, lazy, ugly, out of shape, I repel people, I obsess over things until they completely eat me up inside... *yawn*
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: I am neither lover nor fighter
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: strength? hmm... my guise of patience and endurance, maybe? weakness would be... arg, lots of things
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: I'd be skinny. not sickly-looking toothpick skinny, but skinny enough that NO ONE could honestly call me fat.
(58) There are three wells- love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: what do wells have to do with anything? *shrug* uh... I'd say love, just to torture myself, because it's something I can never have... but then again, so are all of those, but at least beauty and creativity could be worked for...
(59) How do you vent?: blog/LJ
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: no, I'm weak as a blind, deaf, clawless, hairless, toothless kitten
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: I kinda sorta regret giving up on my first real group of friends... if I hadn't been such a brat I wouldn't have distanced myself from them. I also regret not saying what I wanted to say when there was still time (this applies in many situations from my past, so don't worry, I didn't leave you out :p)
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: in all honesty, yes... I'm living, my body is intact and functional, I'm not undergoing any intensive therapy or treatment, I'm about to graduate with honors from an accredited college, I have a place to call home... I lack friends, but I have my own angel... and I'm going to Fanime O.o but yeah, that doesn't mean I like my life... there's a lot going on behind the scenes that no one person knows all details about, and I don't care to go into it... sorry
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: if anything can go wrong, it will
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: my eyes, which isn't saying much
(65) And least?: everything else... pointy nose, flabby face, ghost pale skin, fat rolls everywhere you look, no muscletone anywhere, ugly thin-lipped screwy-toothed smile, a couple of *ahemcough*...
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: yes. I am hot. >.> and if you believe I think that after reading the above, I want you to come here and stand in front of my desk so I can drive a plastic spoon into your skull via your eye socket.
(67) Are you confident?: anything but
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: psh, heck if I know
(69) Do people know how you feel?: not usually
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: I think so, yes
DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: no
(72) Do drugs?: no
(73) Read the newspaper?: no
(74) Pray?: not as often as I should
(75) Go to church?: yeah
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: sometimes, but it doesn't usually happen
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: they're always nearby, but I don't usually actually, like, cling to them... sometimes, but not frequently
(78) Take walks in the rain?: not when I don't have to
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: not when I can avoid it or get by with a wave, a shrug, and a brief nod of the head, all while avoiding eye contact
(80) Drive?: infrequently, just because I never seem to have anywhere to go
(81) Like to drive fast?: kinda
HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: a few times... singing voice, not speaking voice... I hate my speaking voice
(83) Hurt yourself?: not intentionally, but yes, quite a few times
(84) Been out of the country?: no -_-
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: don't think so...
(86) Burped?: Pepsi One is great for burping :P
(87) Been unfaithful?: no, I'm loyal to a fault
(88) Been in love?: yeah
(89) Done drugs?: I like the repetition here...
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: no
(92) Had a surgery?: no
(93) Ran away from home?: almost, once
(94) Played strip poker?: yeah, but we didn't get that far at all :P
(95) Gotten beaten up?: not thoroughly
(97) Been picked on?: constantly, since I was old enough to realize it
(98) Been on stage?: many times, yes
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: ...ok, no part of this question has anything to do with me, except maybe the breath thing :P
(100) Slept outdoors?: yeah, if you count tents
(101) Thought about suicide?: a few times, but I'd never go through with it
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: a few times
(103) If yes, what is your record?: just one night
(104) Gone one day without food?: not completely... when I'm sick I usually eat no more than a couple crackers and a few sips of Sprite in a day, but that's about as far as it goes
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: no, I hate phones
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: nope... that sounds really bad if you read it wrong lol
(107) Slept all day?: no, till 2 p.m. is my record
(108) Killed someone?: no
(109) Made out with a stranger?: no... well... no
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: no, and you couldn't pay me to
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: frequently
(112) Kissed the same sex?: nah, but I probably would, under certain circumstances... I don't see the big deal, as long as it doesn't go too far... but I guess everyone has a different definition of 'too far'... and now that I've got everyone thinking I'm batting for the other team, I will shut up now >.>;
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: heh no
(114) Been betrayed?: I don't think so
(115) Had a dream that came true?: yeah, it was freaky
(116) Broken the law?: >.>;; *points to 900+ mp3s on hard drive*
(117) Met a famous person?: umm... kinda?
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: not to my recollection... maybe fish, when I used to go fishing with my dad... but I guess you should expect some fish to die when you intentionally hook the poor things :x
(146) Stolen anything?: nah
(147) Been on radio/TV?: yes, both more than once
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: not unless you count the mass of people in front of Kiwamu's side of the stage at Ohayocon :P he likes to fan-dive lol
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: I don't think so... my body handles that kinda thing in other ways, I guess... the best was the ulcer
(150) Considered religious vocation?: no, I don't think I could stand it
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: can't say I have... I have a perfect record :P
(152) Bungee jumped?: no, but could have... should have... ><
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: yeah, but no more than a few times
CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: currently Nike
(155) Brand of clothing?: dunno... Levi jeans, Gap is ok...
(156) Cologne/perfume?: don't wear any
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: jeans and a T-shirt or sweater
(159) Wear hats?: no
(160) Judge other people by their clothing?: sometime it can't be helped... it sounds stereotypical, but some people go out of their way to advertise themselves...
(161) Wear make-up?: no
(162) Favorite place to shop?: Aquarium Adventure
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: jackets are cool :P
(164) Are you trendy?: God no
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: no, just because most of them tend to be retarded-looking (sorry, I try to avoid using that word in a derogatory sense, but nothing else fit here ><; ). some seifuku are actually pretty decent though
BELIEFS
(166) Believe in life on other planets?: you could say that
(167) Miracles?: yeah
(168) Astrology?: no, but it's fun to think about
(169) Magic?: no
(170) God?: yeah
(171) Satan?: yeah
(172) Santa?: no
(173) Ghosts?: the soul, yes... ghosts, no
(174) Luck?: luck? what is luck? that's a funny word if you say it over and over... luck luck luck luck luck luck... >.>
(175) Love at first sight?: no
(176) Yin and Yang?: kinda, yeah
(177) Witches?: not witches as in green warty skin and flying around on brooms... but I've known some Wiccans in my time
(178) Easter bunny?: no
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yeah
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: no
(181) Do you wish on stars?: I have in the past, but just for the heck of it
LOVE, and all that
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: no... I'm immune at this point
(183) Do you remember your first love?: if you could call it that
(184) Still love him/her?: good question...
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: sometimes, but... eh, no, never mind
(186) What do you find romantic?: a whole frigging lot of things >.>
(187) Turn-on?: smile, eyes, and well formed shoulders :P
(188) Turn-off?: insensitivity, condescending attitude, egotism, excessive jock-ness or geek-ness (though there's a fine line lol)
(189) Do you base your judgement on looks alone: no, I would be a royal hypocrite if I did
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: flattered, but because I'm a selfish stuck up brat, I'd turn them down
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: I'd have to know them
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: I don't care
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: maybe kinda... maybe... but if you're romantically attracted to someone you'll usually find them physically attractive too...
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: no
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: good question... couldn't tell you
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: I feel I've answered this before
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: parents just paid for my flight, hotel, and registration to Fanime as a graduation gift
(208) Are you in love?: no
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: moving right along
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: walk on by... possibly stare a little longer than necessary, but only if they weren't watching
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?: *mutters*
(212) You wanted to kill?: I can't wish death on anyone... unfortunately
(213) That you laughed at?: some stupid little idiotic animation in Mynci Beach Volleyball >.>
(214) That laughed at you?: Life laughs at me on a daily basis
(215) That turned you on?: ...mmhmm
(216) You went shopping with?: parents, probably
(217) That broke your heart?: the last person?... couldn't tell you, I stopped keeping track
(218) To disappoint you?: dunno, I'm easy to please
(219) To ask you out?: no one
(220) To make you cry?: I only make myself cry
(221) To brighten up your day?: Kiwamu :3
(222) That you thought about?: I think it was Adion actually lol
(223) You saw a movie with?: myself
(224) You talked to on the phone?: dad and Nephy
(225) You talked to through IM?: Dumplin's friend Jason who I don't really know x_x
(226) You saw?: Meg from the quad next door, probably
(227) You lost?: ...once again, I don't keep track anymore
(229) You thought was completely insane?: dunno
(230) You wanted to be?: just about anyone but myself
(231) You told off?: I don't have the guts to tell people off
(232) You trusted?: Dumplin'
(233) You turned down?: *shrug*
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: see #213, if that counts
(235) Laughed?: >.>;
(236) Cried?: few weeks ago
(237) Bought something?: lunch today, if that counts... but probably not since it's meal plan... parents paid for everything Fanime and my 1st Period Best CD, but only because dad wouldn't let me pay him back 9_9...
(238) Danced?: I did some BLOOD para para this afternoon :3
(239) Were sarcastic?: no, never. (ba-ZING! >.>)
(240) hugged someone: dunno... can't remember if anyone decided to hug me at church last time I was there... sometimes one or two of the old ladies do heh
(241) Talked to an ex?: what ex?
(242) Watched your fave movie?: no fave movie = no answer
(243) Had a nightmare?: few weeks ago
(245) Talked on the phone?: yesterday evening
(246) Listened to the radio?: this morning
(247) Watched TV?: I turned it on for a few minutes about an hour ago, just to wake myself up a little, but didn't really watch... last time I watched was last night, Family Guy... after Futurama... after Whose Line is it Anyway
(248) Went out?: as in outside the building? this morning/afternoon for Japanese class and lunch... gonna go for dinner soon
(249) Helped someone?: *shrug*
(250) Were mean?: dunno... wish someone would tell me...
(251) Sang?: today, very quietly, while listening to BLOOD
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: heh, 3 or 4 years ago
(253) Said "I love you"?: vocally, out loud?... no idea
(254) Missed someone?: every day of my life. more specifically, I missed my nephew yesterday... my parents were watching him yesterday, and dad called and told me Nephy refused to accept that I wasn't at home, that he'd even gone up to my room to find me and still denied that I wasn't there... even after he talked to me on the phone he was convinced that I was there *sigh*
(255) Fought with a family member?: no fights, only arguments... and probably this past Tuesday or Wednesday, though mom was the one who turned it into 'bickering', not me ><
(256) Fought with a friend?: it's been a long time... just because I don't have friends to fight with in the first place
(257) Had a serious conversation?: probably in the past few days
(258) Got drunk?: never
(259) Had sex?: never
1 minute ago: replied to Jason
1 hour ago: started typing this thing out
1 day ago: booking a hotel in Cali
1 year ago: heck if I know... probably in the car going home for a weekend...
I hurt: right now *cracks neck*
I hate: that I have 4 weeks left, but it feels like the same 4 weeks I had left several weeks ago
I fear: that I won't get a good enough grade in one or more classes this quarter to graduate
I hope: nothing goes wrong with my Cali excursion
I feel: tired and stiff and hot
I hide: from the world
I drive: rarely *sigh*
I miss: Nephy, and some other people who know who they are... well, one of them doesn't... :p
I learned: some new Japanese vocabulary today... though I'll forget it as fast as I learned it ><;
I need: to read 4 chapters for linguistics, to do research on mudras (Buddha statue hand gestures), and to go get dinner sometime... all within the span of today. exciting Friday, no?
I think: I'll get a frozen mocha from the Marketplace...
I'm not: a liar
I forget: most things that enter my brain
I imagine: being happy... it's about as close as I can get
I crave: frozen mocha :x
I regret: more things than I care to list here
I care: too much for my own good
I always: screw myself over
I want: to be done with this quarter
I feel alone: every waking moment, and most of the sleeping ones too
I listen: a whole lot better than I talk
I sing: very quietly and very occasionally
I destroy: myself a little more each week
I dance: does para para count? if so, every time I listen to BLOOD lol
I write: in blogs/LJ, and on a few message boards
I wake: countless times every night
I breathe: lately, shallowly... that's not good, is it...
I play: Neopets games >_>
I venture: out of the dorm when I have to
I find: new ways to screw myself over every day
I pray: when life sucks, or when I have something to be thankful for
I kiss: my chances at happiness goodbye
I succeed: um... not frequently
I search: on Google
I learn: Japanese at a less frequent rate than I'd like to :I know: what 2+2 is
I joke: with the few friends and pleasant acquaintances I have online
I say: nothing, if I can help it
I change: never, anymore
I fail: in every relationship I've ever had, one way or another
I dream: some really messed up junk
I believe: that I've wasted enough time typing this... not that that stops me
I wonder: what lengths I'd have to go to to find happiness
I want: my free time back
I worry: constantly... it's genetic
I wish: GEC's weren't required -_-
I fight: ...no I don't
I am: drained
Three things that scare me:
1: any social situation
2: the future
3: failure?
Three people who make me laugh:
1: Dumplin'
2: Willard
3: Adion
Three Things I love:
1: my family - parents, nephew, Dumplin'...
2: my critters
3: my music
Three Things I hate:
1: international studies class
2: my knack for screwing myself over
3: hot weather
Three things I don't understand:
1: why the human race is so moronic
2: anything having to do with China
3: why Japanese isn't the official world language ><
Three things on my desk:
1: Phoenix' tank
2: computer stuff - monitor, keyboard, mouse, speakers, subwoofer
3: pair of nail clippers
Three things I'm doing right now:
1: listening to BLOOD
2: drinking a frozen vanilla latte
3: typing this, foo'
Three things I want to do before I die:
1: go to Japan
2: own a Great Dane
3: know what happiness is like again
Three things I can do:
1: make people feel better about themselves just by being around
2: speak, read, and write more Japanese than the average American
3: draw, I guess
Three ways to describe my personality:
1: asocial
2: introverted
3: loyal to a fault
Three things I can't do:
1: find my inspiration
2: sleep
3: settle
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 5/14/2004 05:34:00 PM
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