Stuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway

		wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway
		I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.

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wSaturday, November 05, 2005

feeling: worthless
listening to: HIM - Dark Light

I still want to know what in the bloody blazes is wrong with me.

Well, I take that back. I know exactly what's wrong with me. I just don't know why, no matter what I do or how I try, I can't change it.

Seriously, why do any of you (or by now, maybe I should say either of you) even bother with me? I have absolutely nothing worthwhile to offer. Nothing that a million other people couldn't easily provide, anyway. And any one of them would surely be better at it.

I think I'll find a nice hole somewhere to crawl into and make myself invisible. I don't want to be a thorn in anyone's side anymore.

comment! (3)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/05/2005 03:47:00 AM

Comments:

I stay with you because you're an awesome person. We don't really talk that much anymore, but I suppose we both have the door open, so to speak, if we ever need something. You're a good person, and you deserve better than what you've got right now.

# posted by

Adion : 1:41 PM

Dearest, forgive me, but if I ever hear you call yourself a thorn in anyone's side (especially mine) again, I will become very angry. Because you are not. You are a part of me. You always will be.

I stay with you because I love you. I stay with you because you are one of the greatest loves of my life you could say. You are not worthless. And those things that you know you can do but can suspect someone else can be better at it. I beg to differ. You are unique, loving and above all beautiful inside and out dearest. And thus, while others may have your abilities... they will never be able to do things the way you personally do them.

I'm sorry if I sound angry, I'm not really... and I understand how you feel. You feel trapped, lonely, and untalented and basically... helpless to control anything. You are not worthless. And you have more to offer than you can ever imagine. I wish I could find a way for you to see it. I don't want you to hurt, problem is I know I can't help it at times when you do, which infuriates me to no end when it happens.

To a point I blame myself for this, cause I could tell something was wrong last night.

But as it is, I don't want you to change. I love you as you are, and as you once said in a comment, "though you may not be the world, to someone else you are."

I wish I knew what more to say, and how to say it to help you see... and to help you. I never really do. I'm too used to saying what I need to in the stories I write. My own mask so to speak. I'm sorry. Please try and pull through this, and I love you.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:42 PM

Women say it best. :P

# posted by

Adion : 4:31 AM