I wish I knew how to help kitty to let you know it's ok to break down if it'll help you build back up with me. And not sure what you mean completely by this:

Tables have finally turned, I guess. My turn to see how everyone who ever called me a friend must have felt when I got all complacent and didn't do anything to keep them around and just let them maintain the friendship.

I just know I'm sticking around, and I wish it was enough. Again I wish I knew how to help. I know you don't want me to feel guilty or helpless... but I can't help it. I love you.


And yeah... Flame of Recca is all kinds of amusing.Should have lent you the DVDs so you could continue watching it.
 

It sort of makes more sense now. >.> But I don't know what more to say. And sometimes you can't help feeling hurt... with some of the stuff going on you have a right to. And as I said, I feel it is my fault. And I don't know what to do to make it better.

I really also don't know how to make you beleive that you still have been a friend to me, and I honestly wish I knew I was still seeming that way to you. The way we were. Anyway, I'm not making sense now I guess. But I do love you... I just wish there was more I could do...
 

Not sure if you'll see this since it won't send an email...

Don't worry, you have been just as true a friend to me as ever. And I love you just as I always have. It's not that I think you're leaving or anything, just that I feel like I'm not giving you much reason to stay. I know you will anyway, but... just wish I could make it more worth your while or something. Not sure if that came out right... I know you say just my presence helps and makes you calmer and things, but I just wonder how can I be a calming influence when my mind is constantly barraged by storms of its own? Plus at times I wish I was able to be more than something that's just "there," but instead something that can actively help you reach your goals and dreams... you know, same old same old...

I do still have the fear that some things will never be the way they were again. Not because I don't want them to, but simply because my mind is such a complete mess about so many things that I can't even see straight. And I wish you didn't have to feel guilty, because really the only fault is in my own inability to put priorities where logic dictates they should be and straighten out the mess. You shouldn't have to bear any guilt when you're so close to happiness...
 

Welcome back.