Stuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway

		wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway
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wSunday, October 22, 2006

feeling: grr
listening to: Gilgamesh - Rei -Zero- (yes, le gasp, I said Gilgamesh and not Girugamesh. How DARE I spell the name right when even the band couldn't. I'm such a rebel.)

I have noticed that I experience a lot more bitterness on Sundays than any other time. Not sure if it's because I'm always sleep deprived on Sundays or what, but especially for the past few weeks, I've spent my Sundays recalling certain bumpy spots in my past and how they helped shape the worthless lifeform I am today. Two particular people seem to be common targets when these moods strike. Two people who taught me a long time ago that, in general, trusting others is foolhardy and trying to mend a friendship wounded by petty squabbles is a waste of time. I don't really know anymore why I ever bothered with them. Desperation, I guess.

I'm not blaming these people for my own problems, by the way. But they certainly never considered it worth their time to make me see things any better. They did contribute to the loathsome thing I am today, but letting them win was my own doing. As was closing the door on any helpful influences that came after. Sometimes I think it's unfair that they're both happy and successful now in their own lives after they spent years warping and destroying mine, but whatever. If I could've bothered to care a couple years ago when it really counted, I'd be successful now too. Maybe even sort of happy. So there's only me to blame.

Welcome to my Sundays.

This isn't depression or anything. These days just make me want to go on the warpath and take no prisoners. It's a good thing I never really see the two aforementioned ex-friends anymore, especially on Sundays, because they might be quite bruised and baffled right now if they'd crossed my path in this state. Ok, probably not. I'm too flabby and weak to physically harm anyone. But they'd have gotten some nice soul-burning glares and an earful or two or ten.

I want to watch some Kimi wa Petto to possibly soften this mood, but VLC player is being an idiot for no apparent reason. And I'm not even going to attempt opening RealPlayer after all the lagging and crashing this computer has done all weekend. Oh well... I might finally be getting some blank DVDs tomorrow so I can start clearing some disk space. Not sure if that will help or not, but at least it'll let me increase my media collection again. Which temporarily increases morale, if nothing else.

I could use some chocolate as well.

Anyway, I'm going to shut up and return to the shadows now.

comment! (2)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/22/2006 09:38:00 PM

Comments:

Whats the error message VLC is throwing out? Perhaps I can help? Also, RealPlayer is basically the spawn of Satan. If you're looking for an alternative to VLC, check out TCMP (The Core Media Player). It takes a couple more steps to set up, but I've never come across a file that won't play if you set it up right (which isn't as bad as I'm making out to be).

Lets not forget karma. They'll get theirs...

Thinking about it, it is kind of odd that I believe in karma but thats just about it. Eheh.

I've been watching a new series, it's pretty weird, but it's got a really good plot and the characters are well developed... Two of the most important things I look for in an anime. Simoun is the name, although I can't say for sure it's something you'd really enjoy. A cursory glance would be best until you have established a definate affinity.

I also seem to have a weird emotional cycle that only makes me depressed for a couple hours, and then I give up on being depressed because I don't know why I am.

Sorry for a long comment mostly about me :P

# posted by

Adion : 2:28 AM

Baby kitty, first you're not loathesome. Do you think I could stand to be around you if you were? Second, they're idiots. And if I could get my hands on them... well, it's best not to say it in public. My only consolation is the fact that they most likely are not as happy they seem.

Sundays are evil in general. I think it's because the weight of the whole week is finally on you, and it's the day when everything seems to take place despite it being a day of "rest of worship".

I wish I could help more. I know I never really do. And lately, I've been more useless than normal in this regard. I apologize. I just wish there was something I could do or say or both to help you see without a doubt how special and wonderful you are.

As for VLC player... it's been being an idiot with me too. So, it's catching.

# posted by

Morrigan : 7:26 AM