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wWednesday, February 04, 2009

feeling: strange
listening to: BLOOD - Vengeance for BLOOD


Well, it's been a nostalgic night. Spent most of the evening watching/listening to the Tainted Reality live broadcast and webcam hosted by BLOOD, GPKism, and SiSen in Roger's house... in which, of course, all the songs they played were their own and they entertained their webcam viewers by being completely insane and adorable for several hours. I think they're still on it now, playing Rock Band, but I had to stop.

It's a weird feeling. In a way it made me remember all the good times traveling with them and working for them and hanging out with them over the past few years, in a way it made me excited to see them again in a couple days, and in a way it was kind of sad. Not just because BLOOD is disbanding, but because of how much everything has changed. I feel like I should be sadder about their disbandment. Yes, when the news was first revealed (and in the few months before that when I knew before the official announcement), I was sad. Very sad, and for quite a while. Maybe I got it all out of my system then, I don't know. But now, it's just... I don't know... I'll miss them, but at the same time I keep thinking... I haven't been into them as much in the past year or so as I used to be. Their last two albums, I think I listened to exactly once each (I liked them, a lot... I just hardly ever listen to music anymore). I always felt bad for kind of slipping away. They were still important to me, but the more time went by, the less it seemed they needed me, the less they seemed to even be enjoying what they were doing... and the more everything changed.

It's hard to explain. I can't even entirely make sense of it myself. But long story short... I thought the Tainted Reality broadcast tonight would make me more excited about getting to see them in a couple days, or more depressed about it being the last time... but it didn't really do either. I'm just kind of neutral on the whole thing now. Yes, I look forward to seeing them again and I know the concert is going to rock and it'll be a great time, but at the same time there's some kind of... awkwardness... or something...

Agh, I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I give up trying to force it to.

...It did finally make me want to listen to BLOOD's music again, though. Especially when they played Vengeance for BLOOD, which is just plain epic, and a little of the intro to Danse Macabre, which is one of the most fascinating songs I've ever had the pleasure to hear. But yeah, like I said... I hardly ever listen to music anymore. It's ironic, because music is probably my favorite of the arts... I listened to music on a practically constant basis throughout college and the first couple years after I graduated. But now it's like... I can't just sit and listen to music anymore. I have to be doing something while it's playing. Something that doesn't require so much of my attention that I can't focus on the music, but something involving enough to keep me from getting bored while it plays. Good examples are doodling in Photoshop, typesetting my fansubbed videos, and driving (to a point); I can keep at those activities for a long time and keep music on all the while, but they aren't as acutely demanding of my brain power as reading, writing/blogging, or translating. It's not that I find music boring; it's that the rest of my brain gets bored while only my sense of hearing is listening to it. Or something.

Ok, how did I get so far off topic? Stopping now.

Yeah... I wish I could listen to my most recent BLOOD albums right now. They ARE good. I'm just out of the musical loop, as it were. *sigh*

That was all rather pointless and redundant. Hope nobody actually read through all this. I just needed something to do while Audacity exported my mp3 recording of the Tainted Reality broadcast.

...As a matter of fact, it's still going. So anyone mind if I throw in a J-drama review? I just finished a random one a few days ago.

Gakkou ja Oshierarenai!

Roughly translates to "can't be taught by the school." Yes, a school drama, meaning all but about 3 of the characters were high school kids. Was relatively amusing anyway, though, for some reason I can't quite figure out.

Basically it's set in an all-girls academy, which has just decided to start admitting male students. The first year under this new policy, they admit five boys, who are naturally in Hormonal Heaven (or hell, as it were), surrounded by so many girls. When the time comes to join a school club (mandatory in this academy), they don't fit in anywhere, so they're approached by the young lady teacher Aida Mai, a.k.a. Mai-chan, who says she's starting a new club that's perfect for them. She also rounds up five girls who are outcasts for various reasons and couldn't get into any other clubs. And this new club she's forming with these 10 students is, of all things, a social dance club. None of her student victims want anything to do with it, or with each other, but with time (and Mai-chan's coercion) they become friends and learn to treasure each other and their dance partners. But not, of course, without plenty of hormonal hijinks and adolescent awkwardness along the way.

I'm not sure why I decided to watch this drama, of all the ones out there I've been waiting to see... it certainly wasn't the greatest thing ever, and more often than not it was cheesy and over-the-top. I swear at least once per episode, sometimes more, there was a lengthy scene in which one of the 10 students or Mai-chan just stands there explaining to someone else what makes each of the other 10 main characters and the 5 pairings within them so special... the club members reflecting on themselves and each other and etc etc... and it gets pretty repetitive and annoying. But it was entertaining all the same, somehow, and some of the teenage actors did exceptionally well (even though I have no idea who any of them were; interestingly they all seemed to be newcomers). The star of the drama (Mai-chan), however, was played by Fukada Kyoko, and unlike pretty much everyone else in the world, I never really liked her... but oh well. The guy who played the principal was pretty adorable. Ahem... and yeah... the drama was well-paced and technically strong, I suppose, but also really cheesy.


So much for that... oh, and I finally made that list of dramas I hope/plan to watch in the future. Arranged by year of production (generally), they are:

Koori no Sekai
Abunai Houkago
Namida o Fuite
Handoku
Netsuretsuteki Chuuka Hanten
Tokio ~Chichi e no Dengon~
Minami-kun no Koibito
1 Litre no Namida
Nodame Cantabile
Proposal Daisakusen
1 Pound no Fukuin
Ryokiteki na Kanojo
The Quiz Show
Bloody Monday
Room of King
Last Friends
Kaze no Garden
Mendol
Uta no Oniisan (currently airing; watching raw)
Akai Ito (currently airing)
Mei-chan no Shitsuji (currently airing)
Arifureta Kiseki (currently airing)
Voice (currently airing)

Might be a few others I missed, but that pretty much covers it, I think. Well, Mawang isn't in the list, but that's because it's Korean. Dying to see it though. But anyway.

[edit: Ok, now I remember what felt so weird listening to the broadcast last night. It wasn't nostalgia about the past, or excitement or sadness about the future; it was about the present. I expected it to make me wish I was right there with them, since I normally was in the past and could have been this time if I'd wanted to spend an extra $200 or so... but it didn't make me wish that all. That was what felt so weird: the fangirly thrill was gone. Unlike normal fangirls, I'm in a position where I could travel with them anywhere if I wanted and could afford it, so not being able to do that used to make me kind of upset and jealous... but now it doesn't. I'm still excited, but I don't really wish I had been there all this past week. And ok, never before have I rambled so long in an edit note. Shutting up now.]

comment! (1)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 2/04/2009 12:39:00 AM


Comments:
Well, I think it was something we all had to come to terms with, and yeah, since I'm your official stalker I did read through all of it. But maybe when you get there it'll be more emotional for you or something. But don't force feelings on yourself, it's not a good recipe to follow.
 
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