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Ginger is gone. I stayed close to her as much as I could these past two weeks, and she breathed her last breath while I was in the shower. Yep... a feline to the very end.
Obviously (or maybe not... I keep forgetting the internet can't read my mind... yet), I chose not to put her through surgery. Everyone around me from random cat-owned internet strangers to family to professionals figured it was far too risky for a cat of 16, and especially in her weakened state after weeks of barely eating. Besides, I knew when the deadline day the vet had given us for her medications passed that there was no saving her. And rather than let her die under anesthesia or during a painful recovery in a vet office cage surrounded by cold metal and strange people and noisy animals, I wanted her to live out her days in her home, surrounded by her family. I like to think she appreciated it - right up until last night, every time I went to check on her and try to offer her water (which she stopped drinking two days ago), she always tried her hardest to look at me and purr.
She remained in the same spot unable to get up anymore since sometime this morning, couldn't lift her head to look at me anymore since sometime this afternoon, and she finally succumbed around 11pm. I was in the shower, but at least my parents were beside her... It kills me that there was nothing I could do for her, especially knowing that everything else about her was perfectly healthy and she could have easily lived a few more years... but ever since she reached the point where she'd vomit up everything she tried to eat, all I've wanted was for her to not suffer anymore. After all these long, horrible weeks spent watching her deteriorate, that, at least, is one small relief.
I suppose I'll continue to cry my eyes out for another day or two and then marathon on some Whose Line videos on Youtube or something until I can smile again and move on.
Rest in peace, my little booger. I'm sorry I couldn't do any more to help. Life will never be the same without you.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/17/2011 12:17:00 AM
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