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wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
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I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
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wWednesday, January 30, 2002 |
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feeling: good
listening to: Billy Joel - Still Rock & Roll to Me
Good lord, English class was so FUN today. I know, that totally contradicts every belief I've ever had about English classes. :P Really, it's the work I can't stand. Class meetings themselves I don't mind much, except that they're so cruelly long - an hour and 48 minutes, generally. And unlike the 2 English classes I've had before, this one actually has interesting subject matter, for the most part, and a very cool teacher. She actually encourages students and gives frequent compliments and stuff, and makes the class not-so-sleep-inducing. Usually by putting us in peer groups for discussions and stuff. And my assigned peer group is great, particularly this dude in it named Corey, who is absolutely hilarious. Like, back in one of our first class meetings when we were put into our peer groups, each group was assigned a different aspect of the grammar reading thingy we'd been asssigned for that day (no, the class isn't ALL about grammar, thank God... but this part of this meeting was)... we were assigned to talk about comma splices and independent clauses. Anyway, we were to define our assigned terms, give examples of them, explain how to correct them, and do a mini-presentation in front of the class on this. So, we were talking about comma splices and trying to come up with examples, and we were laughing so much at the corny examples we were throwing out that the teacher came over to see if we were actually getting any work done. And Corey, the genius that he is, replied that we were in fact working - we were just "splicin' it up". Get it? XD God, I about died. And the teacher was rolling.
Anywho, in today's class, we were put into our peer groups again for the whole meeting, which I liked. That means we're less likely to be individually called on to start a discussion. :P And she told us that she wasn't going to give us our typical daily quiz (yes, daily... but they're no big deal... just to make sure we read the stuff, only 10 points each, and several bonus questions on each ^^) since we'd had so much reading to do for today... so instead, in our groups, we were to come up with 3 quiz questions from one of the texts we'd read. They would be passed to the next group, who would read them aloud and give their answers, thus providing lots of discussion fodder. And after giving their questions and answers, the group in the current spotlight was to tack on a bonus question, something quick and easy and not necessarily related to the readings. One group's bonus was which teams are going to the Superbowl and where is it, another was guess Chad's shoe size (twas 15 - he's a big dude)... etc. Well, Corey came up with our bonus question: When you look at the floor of this classroom, what do you see? (cause the floor is a black-and-white checkered tile pattern, and the desks are set up around the outer edge of the room, to facilitate discussion... the middle's a big empty space) And he said he saw the black tiles forming the shape of a diamond in front of him. This got a few laughs. But that's not the end. Later, back in peer group discussion, the group next to us was so busy trying to pick out Corey's floor-diamond that they weren't able to work. So Corey got up and did a little game of hopscotch, his feet landing on the black tiles that indicated the diamond's outline. Well, almost - the 2 furthest-out corner diamonds would've required him to do the splits. ~_^ Anywho, everyone's watching him and cracking up, and in his little hopscotch game he nearly jumps right onto the teacher, who wasn't watching (she was talking with another group about their assigned text thingy). So then she's dying laughing along with everyone else, but she says time to work and Corey sits down. But then, some girl from another group, way across the room, still doesn't quite see the diamond, so she gets up and does the hopscotch thing too! Holy crap, it was funny. There was some other hilarious stuff that popped up in our discussions about the texts, but... I won't mention them here. They're R-rated at best, I'll put it that way. X3
So... yeah. I hate English classes in general, but only because of the out-of-class work and the long class meetings. But days like today make it almost worthwhile.
Oh, and something occurred to me this morning, for the first time, oddly. About high school. When I was a senior, my math teacher was a young jock guy who obviously would've much rather been playing basketball than teaching a class. When he wasn't lecturing, which was rare enough, he was over having sports "discussions" with the jocks in my class, yukking it up, hitting on the most attractive and ditziest girl(s) in the class, etc. When he gave tests and stuff, there were always bonus questions, but they were all sports-related. Who won last night, who's going to the Such-and-Such Bowl, who holds this or that record. Oh, and occasion he'd give everyone a chance at extra credit by teaming us up and playing trash can basketball - the further from the can you shot from, the more points you got. Guess who ended up winning those games? And it just occurred to me this morning that the people who got the best grades in that class were the ones who knew those bonus questions, took part in his sports chats during class, and could throw a Nerf ball into a trash can from 25+ feet away. Whether they took notes and did the homework or not. Why did that just now occur to me, 2 years later? What a jerk. -_-
Something else just occurred to me. :P Yesterday, walking to class, I got to see a squirrel fighting in a tree with 2 other squirrels, getting knocked off the branch, landing on the hood of a car 15-odd feet below (the thud was heard from great distances around... OUCH), rolling to the ground, and climbing back up the tree for more. That is one tough rodent.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/30/2002 02:56:00 PM
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feeling: slightly tired
listening to: the hum of my PC
smelling: Chinese food, cause my roomie just ate some *drool*
It's come to my attention that certain people felt kinda bad after reading my last blog. Okay... certain person. :P A person who had, the day before, given me some details on the report on depression that she was writing for school, which evidently entailed social phobias. And even though I told her this once already, I just wanna make it verrrrry clear that no, you didn't make me feel bad! ^_^ *hugz* I've known for years now that I had some kind of social... thing. Disorder, if you will. I just didn't know till the other day what name to give it. *hee* Hey, social phobia sounds better than social retardation (which I once called it), now doesn't it? ~.^
Linguistics test is out of the way. Japanese homework is out of the way. Hours and hours of English reading is out of the way. English paper is out of the way. I'm free till tomorrow evening! *dances* Not that I'm PLEASED with my English paper, of course... grrr. I hate those things. And we have a more major thingy due Monday that I have noooo idea what to do on... write a paragraph of intent/topic for a research paper, something like that... and I have no decent ideas for a topic. I hate this class. Is it summer yet? Anyway, um... yeah, I was right. I DID regret not having studied for ling. or done any of my English reading over the weekend. What kind of idiot am I?
*sigh* I wish I had more time to draw. Or at least to THINK about drawing. I drew a little doodle of Yukiko, my muse, on my ling. study guide today after the test (had half an hour to sit and dawdle in between the test and a movie the teacher drove down our throats)... that's the most I've done since Friday, when I did two chibi-Reerees (Reeree being one of my original charas who's actually ORIGINAL :P and so cuuuuuute!) for the purpose of designing the rest of her outfit, which ended up not happening. Dangit all, I love Reeree, but I can't for the life of me come up with a half-original outfit for her. Umm, she's an elf-doggie-type chick, by the way. Nobility in her society. Extremely cute. Demihumans kick serious butt. My muse is a demihuman too. A catgirl, the best kind. XD Ah, Yukiko... she goes by The Lazy Muse, cause that's exactly what she is. She's incredibly adorable and lovable, but she spends more time lying around collecting dust than anything. On the rare occasion that she is active, she bounces around being the cutest and most giddiness-inducing little spunk you've ever seen, but only for a brief period of time, then she goes back into hiding. It's really rather annoying. -_-
Well, looks like it's about bedtime here in Siebert 914. Oyasumi, minna.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/30/2002 12:35:00 AM
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wMonday, January 28, 2002 |
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feeling: bluh
listening to: Shura, from the Utena movie, is stuck in my head
I've been reviewing my life recently. The mistakes I've made, the friends I've lost, the fun I've missed, the millions of times I've mad a total idiot of myself. And I came to the conclusion that I have some kind of social phobia. Yay me. No, seriously... some of the symptoms of social phobia include general fear of being in public (well, duh), the feeling that you're constantly being watched/stared at/talked about/laughed at, freezing up when put into a social-ish situation, feeling uncomfortable around everyone except a select few close friends... that kinda thing. I wouldn't say I have a fear, but I definitely hate being in public. My brain grinds to a screeching halt when I realize someone's talking to me and I'm expected to answer. I think there's only one person on earth who REALLY knows me... and it's neither of my parents. I love them, but communication's not in our... um, schedule. Or something. Anyway, and... I don't need to go into the being watched/laughed at/etc. thing. Just rest assured that it's there. So I have a phobia after all... hmm... *looks around* ...is there a cake or something now?
I have a linguistics test tomorrow. I'm reeeeally gonna regret not having studied all weekend, I have a feeling. And my no-heavy-studying-during-or-immediately-before-meals-except-for-finals-or-out-of-boredom rule ain't gonna help any either. Yarg.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/28/2002 05:30:00 PM
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wTuesday, January 22, 2002 |
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feeling: okay
listening to: They Must Be Worried, from Daria! The Musical
Mitsu is on the mend!! ^___^ Well, he's not 100% yet, but he is looking better. Ok, I left him in his little "moving bowl" overnight to rest, checked him in the the morning (after much deliberation...what if I'd looked and found him dead? eep), and he was still the same... swimming sideways. Before I left for my first class, I posted at a forum at a website that specializes in Mitsu's kind, and waited for a reply, since I had no more ideas of my own. Spent all day worried sick while I waited and didn't get a response till hours later, after dinner. It said I might try warming his tank and/or adding a pinch of aquarium salt. But since he lives in a vase with no heater, and I don't have salt, I was still kinda at a loss there. Then I remembered that even when this room is bitterly cold at the floor (which is rare), it's quite warm nearer to the ceiling (where the loft beds are)... and the top of my closet is a nice little surface just a bit higher than my pillow. So I decide to set him up there for a while to see if the warmth helps, shaded by my jacket from the overhead light which hangs very near there (they don't like direct light). Just a few hours later, I checked on him again, and lo and behold, he was swimming normally! No more sidewaysness and flopping around trying so hard yet getting nowhere! This was such a relief to me, you wouldn't believe it. :D So I decided he was ready to move back into his regular home. And now he's flippering around in his nice big vase with nice fresh water, fairly warm under the set-back light of a 60-watt bulb, and swimming beautifully. I know he's not completely out of the woods yet though, because he won't flare his fins at a mirror, and he doesn't wave back at me when I wave at him (yes, he waves back...when he's healthy, anyway...it's quite nifty). He also looks a little grey around the gills. But I think he'll do much better now, so in the next couple days he should be making me bubble nests and waving at me and being his normal little nutty self again.
He's such a gorgeous little dude. Thank God he's doing a little better. If I have anything to say about it, he'll never scare me like that again.
Know what? I gotta draw a Mitsu Merman sometime. XD
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/22/2002 11:54:00 PM
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wMonday, January 21, 2002 |
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feeling: sad
listening to: nothing
*sigh*
Mitsu is not doing well. I'm really worried now. He's been kinda sick for a few weeks, but he was never as bad as he's been today. The best I and everyone else I talked to could figure was that he was overfed, or that he just wasn't taking well to the pellets we were giving him. At certain times of the day he'd tend to look bloated, swim funny, and spend a lot of time just floating at the surface looking dead. But usually he'd look better in the evenings, and his appetite and attitude never changed, so we decreased his feed a little and went on. But today, he didn't just float at the top - he floated either sideways or upside down, and swam even more... funny. And looked even more bloated, AND looked like he was losing some color around his gills and tummy. We thought maybe his month-old water was finally starting to get to him, and I had planned to bring him back here to school anyway, so I decided to change his water, thoroughly. From the start he looked really sick, but he put up such a fight when I tried to scoop him out of his vase, I figured he couldn't be TOO bad off. Finally, with a bit of aid from a second person, I dipped him out and put him in a smaller bowl for transport, and I cleaned his vase and rocks. Also gave him a bit of the inside of a pea, since I heard from betta experts that that's the best way to heal fishie constipation. I guess. *shrug* Anyway, we got everything ready and I brought him to the dorm. He now sits in that same small bowl next to me, trying his poor little heart out to swim but getting nowhere but sideways. I feel so bad. He really looks like he could be dying, and I have no idea how to help him. But every time I look over at him (which isn't often... I'm trying to let both of us rest and calm down) he's beating those little fins, trying so hard to swim normally, but getting nowhere and just swimming on his side sliding along with his back (dorsal) clinging to the side of the bowl. Bless his little fishie heart... he's fighting so hard. I won't give up on him until those little fins stop flapping. Now if only I had something to give up... I mean, it's not like I'm trying to help, cause I don't know what else I can do... but... that aside.
Yes, I get emotional over a fish. Hey, I love my Mitsu-chan. I've always wanted a fighting fish, and I got one. I just wanted him to live longer than a stinkin' month, dangit all. *looks over*... Arg, I hate seeing him like that and not being able to help... he's trying so hard... pounding those fins for all he's worth, yet getting nowhere... *goes off to cry*
...And not only that, but the Daria movie just went off. The official ending of the series. Not that it was a tearjerker or anything, but... grr, I'm gonna miss that show! And hey, it was quite touching, in its own twisted, deadpan way.
Ok, I'm gonna honor my promise to go off to cry now. Later. *sigh*
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/21/2002 10:11:00 PM
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wSunday, January 20, 2002 |
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feeling: drowsy and slightly achy, though the pain killers are kicking in
listening to: Denwa Shite Iwachan, from Ah! My Goddess... well, sort of
I have THE cutest nephew on the face of the earth! The kid does celebrity impressions like a pro, and he's only 6 weeks old! XD Ok, back when he was only a week or so old, he did a great Elvis by doing that upper-lip-curling thing the "king" *koff* is known for... and his thick black hair and sideburns (I kid you not, sideburns! hah) just made it that much more convincing. Then just yesterday, on his sixth-week birthday, he did a killer Spock in his sleep... I was holding him, he stretched, and his elbow was kinda balanced on my hand so that his forearm and hand stuck straight up vertically. Yes, that was a redundancy... sue me for wanting to emphasize the coolness of this. :P Anywho, so his hand stays up in the air when his arm relaxes, and his fingers fall into that classic, spilt-between-middle-and-ring-finger, \\// position. And he held that position for a good minute before his arm finally fell... and slept like a rock while we all laughed at his unbelievable cuteness. XD Oh, and he snores too. Just had to throw that in. It's incredibly adorable.
Well, a sort-of update on the computer crap I blogged about the other day... sort of. After posting here, a friend of mine on ICQ referred to me a program called Recover98 which comprehensively scans the selected drive and, on occasion, can rescue lost files. And, a few of my lost files did return using it. ^_^ Also, I checked my third disk on a different computer the next morning, and it appears unharmed - so my two monstrously long fanfics appear safe, thank GOD. The small downside is, the files I did manage to recover were mostly old school papers and stuff that I no longer have any real use for, and 3 of my favorite smaller documents are still gone. But that's not really a huuuge loss, much as I'll miss them... one was just something I used as a venting/ranting journal (long before I learned of Blogger heheh), another was a brainstorm file for that awesome dreamed-up anime story I mentioned a few blogs down... those were fun to read and play with, but I can survive without them. The third, though, called 'FF Short Stuff', contained a few small things I was working on that could probably qualify as FF7 and FF9 fanfic - small little character-vignette-type things for Aeris, Red XII, and Tifa, respectively; a few songs, mostly popular music I apply to the aforementioned characters but also original lyrics, though I can probably write them again... that kinda thing. A dialog or two, semi-formal brainstorming, the like. The big one in that file, though, was a sort of music video script I was writing for FF7 - a bunch of little made-up Cloud-and-Tifa scenes set to the lyrics of "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion. Because I'm a sap. Shut up. :P It was halfway done, and I was having a ton of fun with it.. and now it's gone. I don't know whether I'll be able to remember all of it to do over. Oh, and there's one more file I think I lost but I don't even remember - character descriptions/histories for a FF7: Next Generation deal I was gonna make a fanfic out of. But in all honesty, I was planning to redesign those characters anyway. So, there you have it, the casualties in detail... not as big a loss as I first thought. So that's kinda cool.
In other news, I'm quite enjoying my 3-day weekend. It's even better since no class Monday means no English class until Wednesday (it's a Monday-and-Wednesday-only class), and we're watching a film on Wednesday and wrapping it up the following Monday, so there'll be no English work assigned for at least another week. BooYA!! *does a happy dance* Also, tomorrow is the day the Daria movie, Is It College Yet?, will be airing, and I plan to tape it, cause as I mentioned before, Daria just rocks... and tomorrow is also the day I'll be taking Mitsu, my pwetty fishie, to school with me. Welcome to dorm life, little finned one.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/20/2002 09:33:00 PM
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wThursday, January 17, 2002 |
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feeling: royally peeved, but slightly... compensated? (read below and figure it out dangit)
listening to: nothing... not in the mood
In the name of all things holy, I CANNOT STAND THIS COMPUTER! This thing has had it in for me since the day I ordered it! Ok, I placed the order at a renowned online computers-and-stuff store for this sweet deal of a computer, about 2 steps down from top-of-the-line (that doesn't include those industrial 4000-gig monsters that regular people can't buy yet), for only $1500. The beauty was, I could afford that MYSELF - I had around $1800 in the bank, including my graduation money and a $500 scholarship. Yeah, this was the summer between graduation and beginning college. So, the thing's to be at my front door within, like, 2-4 weeks. Wrong. I go to college with no computer. Very, very, VERY bad. I have a writing class and 3 other classes, all of which require the web, essays, or both, regularly. End of the first quarter rolls around... I have a monitor. But STILL no computer. I go home for winter break royally cheesed after a very trying quarter. Several letters have been sent to the company by this time, by the way... about a month before, they'd told us that the machine I ordered was no longer available. That's the techno world for ya. But they CAN send me the next-best system (which is by this time probably the slowest and worst they sell), for an additional $50. Okay. Wait around some more... finally, a few days after Christmas or thereabouts, it arrives. Everything but the printer and scanner. But that's ok. I have my own computer now. I'm overjoyed. Buuuut, that's not the end... there's still the matter of my rebate forms, which haven't yet arrived. Those things make the difference between that original $1500 and a ridiculously higher $2000. Well, those rebate forms never come, no matter how many letters we write to the company AND the Attorney General. Why? Because the freaking company's gone BANKRUPT. Bankrupt! What is THAT?! Anyway... this means that, no matter how much they screwed me over, I have to pay over $2000 for a $1500 system that was not even the one I originally wanted AND that I had to wait 4 MONTHS to get, and we can't sue them. Illegal to sue a bankrupt company. Well, at least they can't steal anyone else's life savings. -_-
Anywaaay, the time comes, and I take my new computer to school (and soon after, my printer and scanner). Woohoo! A much easier quarter is in store!... umm, nope. Four months later, it crashes. Fried processor or something. So we have to send it back to the manufacturer, who puts in a new motherboard - in other words, a reformat of the worst kind. Everything lost. So, during the time it's in New Jersey or something being fixed, my parents very generously let me use their computer at school while they use an old crappy laptop with, I kid you not, about 26 megs of RAM. Hey, it only had 4 when Dad got it. Well, my computer doesn't arrive back until almost the end of SPRING quarter - in other words, right before summer break. I don't bring it back to school. Too much work, and I'm almost done anyway. So summer starts, and I go home psyched to have my own computer in my room for the first time ever. A great life it is - for exactly one week. Then lightning fries my modem. ARG!! Sooo, all summer, I have a computer in my room, but no internet. Fall comes, and I'm ready to lug the thing back to campus, and back to this lovely T1 connection. Ahh, the good life. Guess what? Major DNS error. I have a computer in the dorm, but no internet. Double ARG!! Four weeks later, a local techie working for the dorm comes up to fix it, and thinks a recovery-without-format is the only fix he can find. Okay, fine. So he does that, and... Bingo! I'm online! Buuut... that's about all that works. He leaves me with not-working printer, scanner, video drivers, Office, graphic program, sound drivers (no music!! NOOOO), and lots of other stuff. Again, I'm royally cheesed. So again me and my parents switch towers (they have a "new" laptop too, so they're not stuck with crap), and Dad prepares to reformat mine while I use his here. At least this time I have enough warning to back up my files before the reformat, and I do just that. It takes about 40 floppies. (CD burning software's dead too) He reformats, and it works. Glory hallelujah. I reload the thing, bring it back to school... and the printer won't work. WHYYYY?!!
So, a very short time later, it's time for winter break. I take my computer home, planning to have a grand ol' time with the new cable connection at our house. Unfortunately, we never do get the home network running right, so no internet on my machine all winter. Oh well, I can always go downstairs, and the rest works fine. So then, winter ends. A week later, I sit in this very chair just waiting for something to go wrong (besides that the printer still won't work).
I didn't have to wait long. Less than a week later - tonight - I put in my favorite floppy disk, the one holding the majority of my fanfics, school stuff from the past couple years, and other stuff I work with frequently. About three-quarters of it is gone. GONE. I put in another disk that I use semi-frequently, much less essential, but still important to me. It's COMPLETELY gone. There's one disk left, and I'm afraid to let this evil machine touch it. Because it holds my longest-ever fanfic, I believe 68 pages and only half done. I will NOT risk opening this disk on this computer... it gets to wait till tomorrow, when I go to the library. And if it's gone too... I'll start breaking things. I'll give up. I'll never write again. That monstrous document, an FF7 fanfic, has given me enough crap... back when it was less than 50 pages, it got virused or something somehow, and I had to retype almost every word of it, looking off a read-only Notepad view of the garbled document. It was not fun.
Sooo, anyway, someone on ICQ with a hard-to-pronounce name ~_^ sent me some links when I told him of my dilemma. One of them is a recovery program from CNET that just might restore the lost files for me. I try it out... praise be to God, a few of the lost files are there! Not all of them, but a few of them. And they now sit safely in My Documents, far away from any evil file-eating floppy disks. But I still refuse to even TRY opening that third disk till I get to the library tomorrow.
...Enough depressing stuff. I'm gonna eat some fruit salad now. Mmmmm, fruit salad.
Daria rocks, by the way.
Endnote: Terribly sorry if there are any glaring typos here. Typing in a blind rage isn't easy, and I didn't feel like proofreading. I want my fruit.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/17/2002 10:03:00 PM
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wWednesday, January 16, 2002 |
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feeling: like my teeth are cold
listening to: Splendora - "You're Standing On My Neck" (the full version...sweeeet)
Ahh, New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream. I wish I could meet Ben & Jerry. I'd heartily thank them for making my college evenings a little more bearable.
Now, check this out. On Monday, our English assignment was: read the last 4 chapters of Gardner's Grendel, the first chapter of the Writing Analytically text, and the poem Howl by some drugged-up guy I don't remember the name of. And then, to write a brief (meaning around 2 pages) analytic essay on Grendel, including a specific thesis and all the other butt-tight requirements/restrictions of the college advanced writing class. And all of this is to be done by the next class meeting, TWO days later. These teachers forget that most of us up-and-coming, intelligent little scholars *koff* have OTHER classes to bust our butts for too. So anyway, I do all this, like a good little student. Monday night, I do the reading, plus my Japanese homework. Tuesday, I come up with a cruddy thesis and pound out a cruddy paper using a cruddy computer that wouldn't let me run spellcheck, format paragraphs (i.e., double spacing), or even SAVE the document. This is a problem, because I have to save it on a disk to take it to the library to print it, because my printer isn't working either. Lovely. Well, somehow it works out, I do my Japanese, get to bed before 2 *gasp*, and I get up early to go to the library. At least it's all done and out of the way.
Wrong. Turns out she just wanted a DRAFT of this stupid paper. The REVISED version isn't due till Friday. AAAARRRRRGG. And no, she didn't inform us of this Monday, nor was it on the class schedule. I HATE when they do this to me. So now, instead of getting to chill for the rest of the week, I have to go to her mailbox tomorrow to pick up my paper with her comments/advice on it, probably rewrite the stupid thing, and turn it in the next day BEFORE noon. I hate school.
Well, steering away from that... I've been on a Daria kick since I came back to school. I'm not sure how... I haven't seen it in about a year. Just didn't think of it. But for some reason I went to a Daria website I used to check out frequently - surprisingly it was still there - and found out that the following week (which is now this week), Daria was to appear on MTV several times, including two marathon dealies. This psyched me. So at last I got to see Daria again for the first time in literally a year, or more. Ah, what happiness. ^_^ Too bad this is a bit dampered by the impending end of Daria this Monday night in the movie which will be the series finale. *weeps* Geez, I love this show... possibly even more than Whose Line XD ...I think it's because I relate so well to Daria. Poor kid. But even she's more of a socialite than I'll ever be... she had a boyfriend at, like, 17... she's been liked by a few other guys... and she has more friends than I ever had at once, whether she realizes it or not. The sad part is that deep down, she WANTS to open up to the world, to have a chance at finding happiness, but something in her won't allow it. When she's invited to do stuff with friends, she wants to say yes, but she's so used to the walls built up around her that she automatically refuses every time. Very sad. I feel for her. Monday night I got to see the last regular episode (even that was a rerun), in which she hugged her best bud Jane for the first time in the whole series. I would've went "Awwwww" if not for the hilarious flabbergasted look on Jane's face when it happened. *giggles* Jane just rocks. Actually... I think I did "awwwww" a little... it was just laden with chuckling. ~_^ but Jane still just rocks.
Geh... I don't feel like equating myself to Daria any more at the moment. I feel like sleeping. But that's not gonna happen for a while yet, so... maybe I'll go crank up some music (so to speak) or do my Japanese homework or something. Woah, it's after 10. When did that happen?
Oh, and something else... I finally thought of a name for the fighting fish I got for Christmas and will probably bring here to the dorm next week. From now on he shall be called... Mitsu! Naturally, it's Japanese. ~_^ And it has different meanings... one is the infinitive form of a verb meaning "to gaze", which fits him well (he's fun t gaze at, and he likes gazing back when you gaze at him)... and I believe the other is "nectar", which I just like the sound of. So Mitsu he became. And it was good. *ahem* I kinda worry about him though... he seems ill... every now and then he just floats, dead-looking, at the surface... and sometimes he looks kinda bloated. And when he does he sems to have trouble swimming. Also, I think he has some tiny holes in his fins, and I have no clue how they got there... there's nothing in his vase that they could catch on or anything. But, most of the time he still behaves normally, and he still eats like a pig (or tries to... I've cut his feed down some... these fish don't need near as much as we used to give him), so I'm not exactly petrified yet. So he will live here on campus with me starting next week, if all goes well.
AAAOOOOW, my wrist just cracked major-loud. THAT hurt. *cries* As if this headache's not enough... where's my Tylenol...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/16/2002 10:32:00 PM
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wSunday, January 13, 2002 |
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feeling: goofy
listening to: "Breakout" by Nanase Aikawa
Weee, I love this story idea I came up with! And no, dangit, I'm NOT gonna give it away here! *sticks out tongue* This is one of the coolest things I've ever come up with, and I'm NOT gonna risk anyone stealing it. :P
...Oh, heck. Like anyone but my cousin's gonna read this anyway. And she already knows. But if anyone else happens to read this, know this: should you steal ANY PART of it, I will sic wild rabid muskrats on you. They will tear your liver to shreds and play soccer with your skull. And if I can't find rabid muskrats, I'll use rabid skunks. They won't play soccer with your skull, but they'll tear you to shreds and make you stink like heck in the process. And they're quite easy to find around here.
Well, I came up with this concept some time ago, but just kinda revisited it tonight by updating some of my old character art. Actually, this idea came to me in a dream. I dreamed up my own anime. How cool is that? Anywho, yeah... in my dream I was watching this anime series called, oddly, 'Zoom!'. I don't really remember the storyline, but I remember 3 female characters and some actions between them. The characters: a girl with short blond hair, a slightly younger girl with purple hair and a gorgeous smile, and an even younger longer-haired blond girl who seemed to be a good friend of the purple-haired girl. I later gave these characters names, which I won't give here *narrows eyes*, but I'll call them H (the older blond), J (purple-hair), and A (younger blond). I also remember J being on the ground, as if having lost a fight or something... then I remember H kneeling over her, concerned... then J reaching up and very lightly... erm... kissing her. o_O Don't ask where my dreams come from, I dunno. Well, J looked grateful (I think H saved her from getting creamed or something), H got all embarrassed, and A got really peeved. I think she had a thing for J. I woke up from that dream going, holy spit, what the crap was that? basically. So that day, before they slipped my mind, I put those 3 characters on paper and gave them names and partial histories. I also added another character, older and wiser, who sort of shares a hairstyle and name with... well, me. XD She's Bekki, and she's soooo fun to draw! ...So, then I set to creating a story to fit these characters, one that included that bizarre HxJ smooch scene as the moment those charas met: J and A are walking home from school, they're attacked, H jumps in and saves them, J gives H a lil' smoochie in thanks, and A gets totally jealous and protective. But in my story, that's all she is: protective of J. Not in love with her. Cause I still have SOME sanity left. But I will NOT say why J kissed H instead of thanking her any other way, or why A is so protective of J. Because the reasons are J's coolest (though saddest) qualities, and they're possibly the most original character quirks I've ever come up with. I love this story. I just wish I could figure out how to get it moving. Oh, and no, I'm not gonna name it Zoom!. :P
Not really much else to say... I just wanted to blog. And since the last thing I did that meant anything to me was work on those character designs, cause they're so darn cool, that's my subject o' the day. Yeah, a bit of self-absorbedness on my part. But dangit, this is possibly the best thing that's ever come about from my insane, twisted dreams, and it became what has to be the most original and cool story idea I've ever had. Not that that's saying much, but still. Once again, try to steal any part of it and I'll sic wild rabid woodland creatures on you. And don't think I won't find out if you do. I have eeeeeyyyez. *blinks really fast* That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled lives, or lack thereof.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/13/2002 12:26:00 AM
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wThursday, January 10, 2002 |
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feeling: slightly bored
listening to: "Heizoku Uchuu ni Fumetsu no Koutei" from Utena
I'm back in school. Moved in Sunday. I don't really mind being here, I just prefer being at home. More freedom there. I can watch TV/anime, listen to music without headphones, burp, act weird, and do lots of other stuff whenever I want, with only my mom and (occasionally) dad around to witness it. Not to mention my wonderful cousin and only real friend lives there, nearly 2 hours away. Here, I'm never alone. Always classes, meetings, public places, a roommate, and at the very least, neighbors and not-too-thick walls. Have to be near-silent and sit here bored most of the time. Oh, and I don't have to study or do homework at home, either. Not on long breaks, anyway.
I have Japanese 102, Linguistics 202, and English 367.01 - The American Experience this quarter. My observations thus far? Japanese is... *shrug* Japanese. Almost the same as last quarter, most of the same teachers, even... just new material. It was fun then, so I guess it's fun now. Linguistics proves to be quite interesting... I especially like that it's only 2 days a week and about a 2-minute walk from my dorm. Don't ask why, but language interests me, I guess. So this one seems cool. And then there's English. It's an advanced writing class, and the American Experience thing means it focuses on American literature. My class in particular focuses on the theme of monstrosity and questions like "What do Americans fear?". Based on the first day, my first real opinion was that this could prove VERY interesting... I'd never really thought about the concept of monstrosity until we were given our first-day assignment: read Cohen's 7 theses on monstrosity, pick one, and relate it to your own definition of "monstrous". That was the only essay I've ever written that I was PROUD of. Too bad time ran out before I could give it a decent conclusion... but luckily, it wasn't graded. Anyway, I apparently had reason to be proud, because when the essays were handed back yesterday, the comment the teacher had written on mine said, and I quote: "Becky - I think this is the best first day essay I've ever read! I look forward to your future writing. -Dana" (Dana being the teacher, of course). This, understandably, gave me a HUGE head for a few hours. ^_^ I mean, this is an ADVANCED college writing class... I expected the thing to be chewed to bits, even though I was unspeakably proud of it. Of course, Dana also seems to be pretty young... she can't have been teaching this class for too many years. :P
New paragraph, because I feel like it. Same topic, because I'm weird. Why did this monstrosity theme appeal to me so much so fast? Well, like I said, I'd never thought about it. Really, what do YOU think of when you think of the word 'monster'? Some big, hideous creature that makes icky noises and either eats or severely damages humans? Something like that, right? Yeah, me too, until I read those 3 theses. They made statements like: The monster's body is a cultural body. The monster always escapes. The monster is the harbinger of category crisis. The monster dwells at the gates of difference. The monster polices the borders of the possible. Fear of the monster is really a kind of desire. and The monster stands at the threshold of becoming. If you really THINK about these, they make so much sense in the context of our society. Like, the first one: monsters are born of metaphoric cultural crossroads - the embodiment of specific place, time, and feeling of a cultural moment. And the second: the monster (or the evil in general) always either escapes and returns later or is 'slain' but comes back later in the form of a new evil. Look at Dracula, for crying out loud. The third: a monster is something you can't stick into one specific, concrete category. There's always that one grotesque feature (or several) that just will not fit. To what genus does a creature that combines wolf, lizard, bird, and human belong? The fourth one: a monster IS difference embodied. This one's easy to fit into society: "...monstrous difference tend to be cultural, political, racial, economic, sexual". The fifth one: the one thing that keeps man from overstepping the boundary between possible (normal) and impossible (monstrous, abnormal) is the monster: the result of that abnormality, created by crossing the boundary and existing to show mankind what awaits them on the other side. How would you feel if everyone was scared of you and loathed you and it was your own fault? The sixth: desire. Oh, yeah. How could a monster result from the above-mentioned abnormality "across the border" if nothing enticed it to go there in the first place? Imagine this: every little kid is scared to death of the monster hiding under the bed, but how many can resist lifting up the blanket and taking a peek? Same in society: man is naturally curious, and he knows that he can dabble in these abnormal, monstrous fantasies all he wants, but he won't become a monster as long as he doesn't cross that line. "...Geographies accessible from anywhere, never meant to be discovered but always waiting to be explored". Finally, the seventh: monsters are our children. They can be pushed to the utmost, but they always return. When they do, they bear new self-knowledge, human knowledge. They ask us how we perceive the world, how we misrepresent it. They ask us to reevaluate our assumptions and stereotypes about culture, race, sexuality, and the like. They ask us why we have created them. And if you really think about it, you'll see that each of these ideas can be applied somehow to real-life human society, and even to your own personal life.
I really can't paraphrase this stuff here and do it right. If that made no sense, go look for Monster Culture (Seven Theses) by Jeffrey Jerome Cohen... or if you know me personally, ask me, and I'll loan you my xeroxed copy. Or re-xerox it for you or email scans or something, since my class syllabus is on the back of one page. You might not understand half the words, but you'll never look at aliens, Dracula, or the beasts under the bed the same way again.
I have to go to Linguistics class now. Wish me luck and safe travel on my 2-minute walk. It does involve a city street, after all. I could become roadkill. :P
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 1/10/2002 02:11:00 PM
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