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wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
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I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
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wTuesday, March 30, 2004 |
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feeling: I don't know...
listening to: nothing
The obligatory beginning-of-the-quarter How I Feel About My Latest Classes post. Joy of joys.
Honors linguistics, first off, seems fairly interesting. It's actually a combination of linguistics and psychology that I was forced to take against my will so my honors contract would be accepted. It has no exams, which is wonderful, but it has a few homework things, considerable reading, and some papers to write... I think 6, but only 3 of them count toward the final grade. Could be worse. Stick around to find out how. -_- We also have to take part in an experiment or attend a talk for 5% of our grade... I've had to do those before... the experiments are actually pretty interesting to take part in, though a pain to schedule, and the talks are insanely boring. But at least I only have to do one for this class, whereas in my intro psych class I had to do, like, seven. Yuck. Oh, another fun note: this is a 1 hour and 48 minutes long class, and yesterday morning we spent a full hour of that just waiting for the teacher to show up. Most of us started to leave after 20 minutes or so, but as we were walking down the stairs some woman came up and told us our teacher had car trouble and was on her way, and herded us all back. >.> So that was a waste of the the first hour of my final quarter here. Heh.
My EALL class apparently focuses on othe five big schools of thought or whatever in Japan, China, and Korea - Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism, Shintoism, and shamanism. There are a few familiar faces in it from previous major-specific classes I've taken. Most interesting of whom being Meara-san. I've missed him ^.^ Anyway... no exams, again, but there's a group midterm project and a lot of writing, including a big fat term paper and a take-home essay final. All of which I despise.
Finally, honors international studies 597.01, stupid honors requirement I'd be much happier without. This is going to be the class that kills me. No exams again (!!!), but a few evil homework things and a lot of analytical writing, including ANOTHER big fat term paper, even bigger and fatter than the EALL one. Aaaaarrrrggh. Can I just get my diploma now and go home and sleep??
I might also add that my Japanese 612 was cancelled, but I am auditing J712 in its place. Or more specifically, the teacher of J712 will be holding tutorial sessions twice a week with me and one other student from my class last quarter so we can finish up the fourth year sequence. So my Japanese studies will continue after all. ^^v
So... foom. Monday of last week I won an eBay auction for a BLOOD tape, Live in USA, which has footage from their performances at Fanime (I think...) and Anime Expo, plus the PV for Sweatest [sic] Disease. *glee* Still waiting for it to come in... I'm really hoping it includes their cover of Vanilla from their live at... I forget, one of those two locales... because I would give a freaking leg to see BLOOD perform that song. XD Also, in the next few days I plan to order their latest album release, First Period BEST, containing all the best songs from their 1st period (when Dai was the vocalist) plus some tracks from their demo tapes. Psyched me. :3 They're also releasing an European version of the album I have the International version of... it has a couple extra tracks, a PV, and a 12 page lyrics booklet, so I'm biting my nails till the day it's released. Please oh please oh please let it have Death Dies... I need that song ><
Time to go earn some neopoints as I'm recently all obsessed with Neopets again. Go get yourself an account through that link so I'll get nifty referral prizes. :P And let me know when you do and I'll send you something cool... lol
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/30/2004 01:23:00 PM
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wSaturday, March 27, 2004 |
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feeling: stomach's not happy...
listening to: nothing
Casual and confused.
What's your inner Totchi?
brought to you by Quizilla
You'd make a perfect member of Dir en Grey! But
beware, don't call Kyo cute or else expect to
be stabbed sometime during the night with one
of his piercings.
Which J-rock Band Would Let You Join?
brought to you by Quizilla
(edit: why the fook aren't those two Quizilla result pics not showing up?? arg!)
In other news, my new little girlie betta's name is Pixel. Pixie for short. Why? Ok, for so long the only things that came to my mind for her were dippy cheesy cliche stuff like Piglet and Pinky. The best I could come up with was Pixie, because as I said in my last blog, she reminds me of a little sea pixie the way she flits around. But that's a tad on the cutesy side for my tastes, so I beefed it up a little to get Pixel. Which still works, cause she's tiny like a pixel and she has little pixelly blue 'freckles' all over her, including one right on top of her head. So Pixel she became. That's the fastest I've ever named a pet... what, 2 days, 3 max? Crazy.
Nothing else to talk about, so I guess I'm gone. Night.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/27/2004 11:56:00 PM
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wThursday, March 25, 2004 |
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feeling: tired
listening to: nothing
It happened. I just turned my vow not to get any new bettas until I'm out of the dorm for good into a lie. This little squirt is responsible. How cute is she?! I mean, she's a blue Cambodian, one betta color (along with white) that I've been wanting for ages. And she's a lil teensy female, barely over an inch long... not the smallest I've seen, but still an absolute runt compared to Phoenix. And she has big black eyes! *melt* It's so fun watching her flit around her temporary abode like a little sea pixie~
Yeah, I did go shopping today. What did I get? Besides the fishie... two T-shirts. That's it. Outlet mall let me down. All the stores I've always gotten jeans from either disappeared, changed their stock, or just didn't have my size. Is that insane? Until a year ago they had every size below the size I needed, but never the size I needed, and now it's the same way, but with 2 sizes smaller. Either life sucks or everyone else lost weight too. Or probably both.
So I notice a trend. Remember not long ago when my dad made me Snoopy-shaped waffles one morning for no apparent reason? And then made me a banana pizza the same day for dinner? Well, a couple weeks ago I mentioned to him that I'd seen commercials for IHOP stuffed french toast on Food Network, and I wanted to try it sometime if there was an IHOP anywhere in this... well, state. We never decided if there was... but in its stead, this past Sunday morning, dad made me stuffed french toast. With homemade blackberry (or was it raspberry...) jelly as filling and topping. And today he was planning out loud possible methods for a new ice cream recipe that I suggested to him long ago - peach mint. My dad is amazing. I could tell him I wanted to try a snow crab dinner with crackers 'n caviar and shark's fin soup and he'd go out and find the ingredients.
I should go to bed now. Because my waterbed is freshly replaced and refilled, which means it's still frigid, which means I have to sleep in the living room again. But this time dad will be up and around no later than 6, inevitably waking me up, and by the time he leaves for work the sun will be up, pounding against my eyelids and keeping me awake until mom gets up a few hours later, by which time my night will be over and I'll have slept about 3 hours. For the second night in a row. This is supposed to be spring break, for crying out Bob.
Oh well. Time to go find something to do until I can't keep my eyes open anymore.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/25/2004 01:11:00 AM
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wWednesday, March 24, 2004 |
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feeling: murr
listening to: Dir en Grey - Erode
Long time no substantial blog, because my life is worthless.
Came home Tuesday, babysat Wednesday, screwed around on Thursday, babysat again on Friday, screwed around some more on Saturday, went to church and my grandma's on Sunday, did some stuff yesterday that I can't remember anymore... and today, got my haircut and went to town with the parents, then discovered my waterbed sprung a leak again, less than 2 years after purchase. So I'll be sleeping downstairs for at least the next 2 nights.
So most of my spring break has been spent working on my thus-far magnum opus of Photoshop. I only call it that because I've made more progress on it on any of the other dozen plus Photoshop projects on my hard drive, not because it's my greatest thing ever. Which defeats the purpose of calling it magnum opus, I guess. Screw it. So it's a fanart of Fu-ki, the new vocalist of BLOOD... head and shoulders, maybe approximately 4 inches square-ish. Face is done, lips are done, eyes are half done, hair is half done... all in about... 8 days. >.> Yes, I am tremendously slow. Dumplin' complimented it when I showed her the in-progress screenshot, but I insist that anyone could get the same results if they spent a friggin' hour on every single strand of hair like I seem to do. >< Why Fu-ki? Number one, because his fanart section on BLOOD's homepage is very scant, since he's the new guy, and it has a long way to go to reach the numbers contained in Kiwamu and Kaede's galleries. Number two, because he is so pretty I can't stand it. He reminds me of a porcelain doll. I better see some more photos of him before too much longer, or I'm gonna eat my fanart. *drool*
Anyway, then tomorrow I'm going shopping because I'm tired of wearing jeans that hang 2 inches off of me all around. And the next day I'm picking up Dumplin' after school and we're gonna screw around and be cool for the evening. :P
So there's my jam packed spring break. Oh, did I mention I can't finish fourth year Japanese because the final class of it was cancelled for next quarter? They didn't reach minimum enrollment. To be exact, only one person signed up. Me. >_< So I'm hoping to arrange some kind of individual course for it with the department head honcha, because I REALLY want to keep learning Japanese. It's been the best part of college for me. Which, by the way, is ending for me in less than 3 months. Is that insane? That means I'll have to find a job or something very shortly after my birthday. *sigh* I don't wanna grow up...
Speaking of school... I actually did it. I pulled off straight A's this past quarter. Now, anyone will tell you I'm an extremely modest person and am more anxious to turn aside compliments and praise than to bask in them, but pardon me if I throw myself a party here. This past quarter just about pushed me over the edge there at the end when I had a few dozen major projects/exams/papers within 2 weeks, and I kicked its butt. I deserve a break from humility, so there. Bite me, real world.
...
Ok, that was a fun party. Back to life now.
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wSunday, March 21, 2004 |
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Desert Rose, why do you live alone?
If you are sad, I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue, or bloody red?
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand
The winds of time, you knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst, I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain
I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain, I'm waiting for you
Can't go back, no place to go back to
Life is lost, flowers fall
If it's all dreams, now wake me up
If it's all real, just kill me
I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't wanna find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Run away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love
Through my eyes time goes by like tears
My emotions losing the color of life
Kill my heart, release all my pain, I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold of me
Turning away from the wall I can see nothing
The scream deep inside, reflecting another person in my heart
Calls me from within
All existence you see before you must be wiped out
Dream, reality, memories, and yourself...
I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls?
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love
Stab the dolls of hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly, "the Earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love? What am I supposed to do?...
I believe in the madness called now
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind, but I wanna trace my love
On the walls of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, cannot end my life
Keep on crying
Close my eyes, time breathes, I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears, wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life outside my walls
You can't draw a picture of yesterday
So you're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say no
Only turning the wheel of time with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a deep breath from between the bricks
You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of your life together
And trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell on the edge of the stage
And you are trying to kill me
I believe in the madness called now
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself
Still, I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why, I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live?
Do I try to love?
In my dream...
I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop, I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the wall of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in the chains of memory, half blinded
Losing my heart walking in a sea of dreams
Close my eyes, rose breathes, I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears, wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life outside my mind
Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream, I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?
I believe in the madness called now
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself
Still, I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why, I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live?
Do I try to love?
Art of life
An eternal bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A rose is breathing love, in my life...
X Japan
Yoshiki, wait for me...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/21/2004 02:09:00 AM
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wSunday, March 14, 2004 |
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feeling: awake, fortunately
listening to: nothing
I'm supposed to be studying, and I've got no less than 3 hours of geology to go before I can move on to studying for Japanese, so this'll be quick.
So I just watched Hey Hey Hey!, as I do every Sunday night. And I swear one of the hosts, Hamada, was wearing an OSU Marching Band sweatshirt. Yes, OSU, as in the college I am attending right now. It had the block O and the buckeye leaf that looks like Mary Jane and everything. Why a famous Japanese TV host and comedian would have, let alone wear on TV, an Ohio State marching band shirt, I have noooo idea. >_O But that's cool, because next week's episode will feature Gackt, and he's performing Vanilla XD! *breakdances around the room* I am so gonna tape it~ heh, I'm bad... Gackt has been on that show so many times since I started watching, and though I probably have more than half a dozen episodes on tape, none of them are episodes with him. Bad me. >_< But Vanilla live will NOT pass me by! Muha!
Yeah... also, I just wanted to mention the sad dream I had last night, so I won't forget it before I get to record it. It was heartbreaking. T_T That being the case, I'm not sure why I want to remember it... but I do. So now I'll remember, and when I have time (i.e., after my 2 back to back finals tomorrow), I'll stick it in the ol' dream log. And maybe even synopsize it here too, since I mentioned it and all. Don't you hate unfulfilled teasers? :P
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/14/2004 11:07:00 PM
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wSaturday, March 13, 2004 |
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feeling: spent
listening to: gimme a minute...
I seem to have a new reader. ^^; *waves at Mike*
Yeah... I feel slightly better now. Largely because I just completed a lab assignment that took eight monstrous hours to complete. And that's not counting the written part, which I did a few days ago. Also in part because today with dinner I had a biscuit that was absolutely swimming in honey. *float* God, I love honey. Honey everything. Honey butter, honey mustard, honey in tea, honey Pretz, honey for dippin'...
Anyway... who remembers the Friday Five? I need to pay better attention to that... it was fun when I actually kept up with it.
1. What was the last song you heard?
Dir en Grey - Yokan. Which translates to "Premonition." I am such a DeG fangirl.
2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Ummm... are we talking watched at full length, or just caught a few minutes of, or what? If the former, then I really have no idea. If the latter... maybe... umm... geez. Nope, I can't remember. I'm not a movie person.
3. What were the last three things you purchased?
BLOOD's International album, that Utena DVD that was supposed to be a whole box set but turned out to be just one disc *snarl*, and... a bottle of Vanilla Coke. >.>; Or if you want more substantial... a BLOOD photo set which I later had autographed. Thought of hanging the suckers up on my wall, but decided to keep them protected in an album or something instead. Especially now that two of the members are gone. T_T
4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
Four? *roll eyes* ><;; Ok, narrowing down to the most important... study for geology final, study for Japanese final, finish my paper for J-lit, and put together a 10 minute presentation for the same class and project.
5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
I'm going to assume it's ok to include people I've spoken to in person, on the phone, AND online. >.>; Which would mean... Adion, Willard, my honors counselor, and Airhart-san and Siska-san from Japanese class. I'm gonna miss them. *sigh* Not to mention everyone else from the class whom I've gotten to know over the past 2 years... half of them are going to study abroad in Kobe next quarter, and the rest of us are all nokotteru and stuff because it's looking like Japanese 612 will not be offered next quarter after all. T__T Life is butt... I'd be going to Kobe too if I weren't graduating in spring... *clings to Bill's ankle whining like a starved puppy*
Know what else? Last week's Friday Five was pretty interesting too. So here it is.
What was...
1. ...your first grade teacher's name?
Dee Dee Skaggs. She was a member of my church at the time... we were well acquainted. I think I annoyed her. :P
2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
I have to pick one? >.o Maybe... Garfield and Friends. Or Muppet Babies. Or Kissy Fur. Or the Gummi Bears. I could go on.
3. ...the name of your very first best friend?
Stephanie [last name omitted]. Only because our mothers were friends through school, as so many early friendships seem to start out. We were never really meant to be friends... I don't know how we managed to hold on for 8+ years. She was spoiled, bossy, preppy, controlling, demanding, and worst of all, she was proud of it. Needless to say she spent much of our friendship either using me or being mad at me because I couldn't put my own life aside to cater to her every whim.
4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?
I had many, but the most prolonged was probably Fruity Pebbles. There was also Lucky Charms, Cookie Crisp, Frosted Flakes buried in sugar, and those three spooky ones or whatever... Count Chocula, Booberry, and... the pink guy. I forget the pink guy's name. (edit: Frankenberry! That's it!!)
5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?
Hightail it home, of course. School was the bane of my existence until I started college. College would be awesome if not for all these furkin' classes.
I'm done now. I really should try to get something else accomplished before I go to bed.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/13/2004 02:09:00 AM
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wFriday, March 12, 2004 |
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feeling: GRWAAAAAAARRRR
listening to: nothing
Settle in, kids. It's rant time. Now now, no pushing... there's room for everyone.
Ok, this rant is about stress. But it's not what you'd expect. I'm not whining because I'm under 50 tons of pressure and just want it all to be over. That's true too, but that's not what this rant is about. I'm used to stress. I'm used to having ten million things to do in two weeks or less. I'm used to deadlines and being under the gun. I even make it worse for myself by putting everything off until the last possible minute, so I don't really have room to whine, not that that stops me. But yeah, point is, I'm used to stress. Whatever.
No, this rant is about unnecessary stress. You know, when you're scrambling around moving the stars themselves and tearing your hair out in a race against the clock to meet a deadline, only to find out that that deadline has been pushed back by a significant amount of time that could have saved you a serious truckload of stress. THIS is the kind of stress that I can't freaking stand. And this is the kind of stress that I have found myself under more than any other kind of stress.
What brings this on now? Well, first of all, my geology final is on Monday, right? And I have a HUGE amount of material to go through in order to prepare for it. We're talking, like, 25-30 pages of notes, front and back, inside and out. I wouldn't complain normally, because this is what college finals are all about, right? But here's the thing: the professor gave us his estimation that it should take us about TWENTY MINUTES on average to complete this exam. Which basically means I have to spend essentially every waking minute of the next 3 days cramming all that material into my head, when only about 10% of it is actually going to be on the final. But we don't know WHICH 10%, so if I don't know everything from the notes, I might as well not even show up for the stupid test. Unnecessary stress. And it's compounded by the fact that I also have a final lab assignment to complete, a Japanese final to study for, a 10 page paper to write, a sequence of autumn-themed uta (like the ancestor of haiku, with a couple extra lines) to compose, and a 10 minute presentation to prepare, ALL within that same 3-day span. There was also a book to read, a report to write about it, a concept paper to write, 2 quizzes, a psych final, and an oral final, and although over the past 5 days I've gotten all of those out of the way, they still added an extra ton or two to all that stress while they were pending completion.
Oh, but that's not all. Remember how previously I ranted about the crap I've been through trying to meet my department advisor to complete my major program form, which I finally got done on Wednesday only after trying to chase down a nonexistant advisor for about a month? Well, with that out of the way, I was finally free to complete my application to graduate in spring, which I have always been told is to be done no less than one quarter before your desired graduation date. (Which is why I went insane for weeks trying to find my dept. advisor.) I had an appointment to do this today at 3.
Let me tell you how it went.
So I get in there, I sit down, I fill out what I can of the application while the honors counselor lady goes through my honors contract and transcript making sure everything's in order. We're chugging along, all is cool. Then she tells me she needs to see my completed major program form before she can approve my application. But I didn't have it. So I had to run back to the dorm, get it, and run back there before her next appointment. I handed it to her, along with the form I had to fill out to make a couple small major-specific changes in my honors contract. We had discussed this already, so I didn't expect difficulties. And boy, was I wrong. As it turns out, despite the fact that my dept. advisor signed my major program form including those two small changes, she was also supposed to sign the change form before the honors committee could approve it. And all this also is to be done before the application to graduate.
Long story short, I am forced to take another step backwards - I have to arrange to meet my advisor again to get her signature, then take that back to the honors counselor, THEN finish my application to graduate. And all of this before the end of this quarter, which means in the next 2 business days, just like I've known all this freaking time while I was chasing my advisor down, right?
Wrong.
Honors counselor chooses that particular moment to inform me that I don't have to submit my application to graduate until SIX WEEKS BEFORE MY GRADUATION DATE. So all the time I spent this week actively hunting down my advisor, finally finding a new one, completing the paperwork, filing the paperwork, making another appointment, and filling out the next 2 forms - not to mention all the time trying to establish indirect contact with that nonexistant advisor - could have been put to much better use working on my papers, poems, and presentation, or studying for my finals, or working on my lab. But no, life can't be that simple. Just when I think I've barely made it in under the gun, I find out all the stress I've been through has been in vain because 1) I missed a step anyway and 2) my deadline is six freaking weeks later than they originally told me it was. Unnecessary stress.
God, I want to go home.
"Show me the way to go home! Everybody! I'm tired and I want to go to bed! Just the women!"
~Stewie of Family Guy leading a rousing musical number in Peter's basement bar
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/12/2004 04:18:00 PM
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wMonday, March 08, 2004 |
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feeling: annoyed
listening to: nothing
This is one of those 'never a dull moment' days. If you count the middle of the night, at least.
For starters, last night I had one of the most vivid dreams I've had in a long time. By vivid, I mean there are parts that even now, hours later, I can remember right down to the detail. To be specific... in my dream, I was sitting in a lawn chair in the driveway in front of my home, with a few family members/friends around me. I don't remember who they were or what we were talking about... but be patient, I'm getting to the vivid details. So we're sitting there talking, and I happen to glance over to my left, where I see a sudden commotion on the ground. Raised by two tiny little creatures that resembled a cross between squirrels, chipmunks, ferrets, and something infinitely cuter (and not much is cuter than ferrets to me, so that's saying a lot :P). They were slightly smaller than chipmunks, had bushy tails like squirrels, were nearly as long-bodied as ferrets, and had color patterns I've never seen anywhere before. So upon seeing these little beasts frolicking around, I uttered some sort of squee that got everyone's attention, and then we were all looking at the creatures, who took the hint and began to look very interested in us too. I reached my hand down, and one of them came right up to me, climbed onto the palm of my hand, sniffed and chittered, then scrambled right up my arm, wound around my shoulders a couple times, and finally nuzzled its way into the hollow of my neck, happy as could be. Elliciting some profuse verbal gleeing out of me, naturally.
This is where the detail comes in. I swear I remember every bit of fur on that little rodent's body. It was all shades of brown, tan, and gray, with a couple black stripes down its back that continued down the outer edges of its bushy tail. Inside those stripes on the tail was a white streak, and there was another white patch on its belly/chest. Besides that, what I really remember is the contrasts - it was coal black, snow white, ashen gray, cinnamony tan, and cherry wood brown all at the same time. And it had these big, sparkly black eyes... and I even remember the feel of its fur and whiskers and tiny claws against my skin as it explored my hand. I was in love, dangit.
Of course, somewhere over the remainder of the dream these creatures grew up until they resembled small cats more than anything else - their cool colors and tail-bushiness even decreased as they grew - and only THEN did we decide we'd better take pictures of them before setting them free. That was the weird part. Well, that and our discovery of some uncharacteristically adorable rodent previously unknown to the entire world making a home in our backyard. But them growing to cat-size was weirder.
So that was the first weird thing. Then I woke up and puttered around and went on to psychology class, where I encountered the second never-a-dull-moment moment. So in that class with me is Paige, a girl I went to high school with, right? She was a year under me, very smart, very dedicated, valedictorian in her class, AND everyone seemed to like her. That's a rare combination for non-jocks. Anyway, so she showed up and we talked a little, and then she received her graded midterm from a couple weeks ago. Then she asked me if I remembered the necessary grade to pass this class, and I didn't know, so we guessed it to be 60%. Then she said something like, "ok, that's what I got on the first midterm, so as long as I pass the final on Wednesday, I'm good to go."
Now, I understand that most college students would be perfectly satisfied just to pass and move on, and this only seems strange to me because I have damningly high standards for myself, hurled upon me by various circumstances throughout the course of my life, which require me to come as close to an A as possible in every class I take in order to survive. Everyone else is fine with getting on by the skin of their teeth; I'm just weird. But Paige?? She was right on top in high school, and not just in her own class... smart, dedicated, disciplined... she was valedictorian for a reason! I never, ever figured her for the type to just settle for a passing grade. Anyone else... well, except me... but not her. Of course, I'm just as bad for judging her as the teacher's pet kind of student when in reality I didn't know her THAT well... but I saw enough. I'm not judging, just saying. Her losing those high standards would be like me losing mine - I never asked for mine, I never wanted them, and if I could go back I'd have said screw them and done my own thing and tried to just be happy instead. The difference is I can't get rid of mine... I don't know her situation, no, but I was still floored to hear that from her. Just like anyone I knew from high school would've been floored to hear it from me.
So. That was my second topic of interest. Then, I'm walking home from psych, and I happen to spot a female cardinal in a tree. Big deal, right? They're all over the place around here, males and females alike, and males are the notoriously pretty ones - bright red, not drab brown like the female.
But you know what? I actually stopped to take a look at that female cardinal. And I realized that she was far more pretty to me than her fire engine red mate was. I think I've known that for some time now, but for some reason it really dawned on me today. I think it was her beak. You know how both genders of cardinal have that really bright orange-red conical beak? You don't really notice it on the male, because he's bright all over. But on a dull brown female, it stands out like the stump of a freshly severed thumb.
I've been studying Japanese too long. Know how I know? Because all this is a classic example of Japanese wabi aesthetic. Wabi basically means finding beauty in imperfection and incompleteness, not in perfection. one with wabi aesthetic finds a moon obscured by clouds more attractive than an unhindered full moon, a white flower with a single torn petal more attractive than a perfect unadultered blossom, a simple misshapen homemade copper bowl more attractive than an intricately made and decorated china plate, etc etc. Now I find a dull brown cardinal with a brilliant colored beak more attractive than a cardinal that's brilliant all over.
I love my major.
Which brings me to my next never-a-dull-moment moment.
After geology class, I went to Cunz Hall to hunt down my advisor, because I have to complete my major program form before I turn in my application to graduate, and I have to do both of these before this quarter ends, which happens in the middle of next week, if I want to graduate in June. And I've emailed this guy twice in the past month, and have seen no response, so I went to find him. But lucky me... he's not even in the same office he was in last time I had to meet him. So I went through two floors of that building looking for his name on an office door, but such a door did not exist. So I tried stopping by the main department office to ask who I'm supposed to see if not him, but no was was in there, either. So I wandered around both floors again, searching still more and with still no luck, and then checked the department office again, but it was still empty. So I left and went to buy some graph paper for a lab assignment I have to finish before Monday, happy happy joy joy, and then returned to Cunz to visit the department office again. STILL no one there. Finally, I gave up and stopped to make an appointment with an honors counselor to take care of my application to graduate, thinking at this time of the quarter if I did so now I might be lucky enough to get in by Friday. Well, as it turned out, my appointment was set for Wednesday afternoon. And I'm supposed to do my major program form BEFORE my application to graduate. So basically I have... well, tomorrow, to figure out what the fook is going on in my major department; it's either that or walk on water to move the appointment I just made to a later date, which I'll probably have to do anyway, that or waste the counselor's time with a second appointment.
I just wanted to graduate with the rest of my class... *curls up in a corner and engages in incoherent muttering*
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/08/2004 11:13:00 AM
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wSaturday, March 06, 2004 |
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feeling: dread
listening to: nothing
So another lovely Ohio Spring rears its ugly head. Thursday, we hit highs in the 50s or so, and it was overcast and rainy all day. Early Friday sees humidity, high winds, ugly clouds, and the threat of rain in air so damp you could feel it clinging to your arm hairs, all with temps in the mid 70s. Friday afternoon, it was even warmer, but the skies turned clear, blue, and cloudless, and the humidity vanished. Friday evening, we progressed to thunderstorms. Now it's Saturday, and the temperature is somewhere in the 40s, and it's overcast and gross looking, but no rain in sight. In the next week it's supposed to snow again.
See why I hate spring?
Thursday was a sad day. My first-thing-in-the-morning email check revealed a message from the official mailing list of BLOOD, announcing the band's new website domain and... the band's progression from the "second period" into the "third period." As soon as I saw that, I knew something had changed and I wasn't gonna like it... because last time they moved from one period to another (first to second), it meant they'd gotten rid of their vocalist, Dai, and replaced him with Takeshi. Also, a few weeks ago I'd seen rumors that Takeshi was about to be replaced, but band leader Kiwamu dismissed the rumors, and the band kinda went into hiding for a few weeks. Then, upon following the new URL to BLOOD's new domain Thursday morning, my fears came true. Not only has Takeshi left the band - Taichi has left it too. T_T And while these two were lost, only one new member, Fu-ki, was added. Between the "Takechi" duo, BLOOD lost a vocalist, a violinist, their main lyrics writer, a guitarist, a music writer, a drummer, and a programmer, at the least. And to fill that huge void, they brought in... a vocalist. I'd say they lost a lot more than they gained there. *sigh* It's gonna be rough for this new BLOOD for a while...
I'm not even gonna go into all the reasons behind these changes and whatnot. I've seen enough of that on BLOOD's BBS, and I don't feel like thinking about it anymore. What really ticks me off, though, is that so many "fans" were flooding the BBS with BLOOD-bashing comments, whining about how this was a bad decision and they won't follow the band anymore because their favorite member is gone, not to mention general insults on Kiwamu's intelligence and handling of the whole situation. Bunch of little ingrates. I feel so bad for Kiwamu-san if he actually read all of that. But I feel even more sorry for Fu-ki, who's being bashed up and down by people who don't even know him.
Yeah, Thursday was a day of mourning for me. Takeshi and Taichi were a huge part of what made BLOOD the band I came to know and love, and now they're gone, and they've taken so much with them. I'm holding out hope that we'll hear from them again someday; they both have far too much talent to just go to waste. And after my little grieving period, I tried to stay optimistic and look forward to the new stuff that Fu-ki has to offer, and just see where it goes from here. I don't plan to abandon BLOOD. They have way too much potential, even if half of it just disappeared. Kiwamu and Kaede remain, at least, and Fu-ki looks quite promising, if I say so myself.
But... I still worry. As I said above, the band lost a lot more than they gained with this change. No matter how wonderful Fu-ki may turn out to be, if they don't gain at least one more new member soon, I fear BLOOD may not last much longer. I mean, what's a rock band without a drummer? And having only one guitar is gonna hurt too, I think. I'm looking forward to hearing Fu-ki's vocals and seeing all the new stuff they'll come out with in the near future, but I'm very worried that it'll all be futile. I know it's the nature of indies bands to change like this, but... this may have been too much. I'm fairly sure there'll be a fourth member within the next several months... I just hope it's not too late by then.
Anywaaaaay...
Last night was strange. My loyal readers *cough* may recall my mentioning in the past of a song by X Japan called The Last Song? Yeah... last night I listened to it... nothing new, believe me. But for some reason, this time, I realized less than halfway through that it was causing this... just... overwhelming sadness. Corny as it sounds, I could actually feel those things they call heartstrings being pulled tight, and even the strain as they fought the urge to snap. That was the most intense dose of pure feeling any song has ever caused in me. If it were physically possible for me to cry, my pillow would have been utterly soaked. I mean... it wasn't like I wasn't familiar with the song already or anything. It just... hit me, this one time out of however many it's been. I was kinda floored there.
So hmm... one week of classes left this quarter, followed by finals week. Let's take an inventory (so to speak) of all the stuff I have to do in that week. For psych, I have an exam Wednesday. For geology, I have a lab assignment to complete, a book to read, and a book report to write about it, followed by a comprehensive final. For Japanese, I have the standard daily homework next week (an hour or so a day), I think 2 quizzes, an oral final, and a written final. And for literature, I have a 10-page paper to write, a sequence of poems to construct as part of it, and a 10 minute presentation of it to prepare. All of this in less than a week and a half. Who said college was hard?
Oh, speaking of dread, Grandma and clan just showed up. That means Gaki and Gakidaddy. Arg. Time to make myself look busy and industrious so they won't question my decision not to spend the rest of the afternoon downstairs entertaining the spawn of Satan...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/06/2004 03:35:00 PM
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wTuesday, March 02, 2004 |
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feeling: head's trying to ache
listening to: Dir en Grey - Macabre
Ignore this. Just scroll down to the next post. It's less excruciating. I just need an escape from college right now.
001. What is your name: Becky Cottrill
002. Spell your name backwards: Llirtoc Ykceb
003. Date of birth: June 23
004. Male or female: female
005. Astrological sign: Cancer and Dog
006. Nicknames: Sempai, Rae, Bekkichan (my dad called me that... it was scary...)
007. Occupation: college grunt
008. Height: 5'5"
009. Weight: I would tell you, but I haven't stepped on a scale in about 3 years... then I gained at least 20 pounds, then I lost 4 jeans sizes... I'm not even gonna guess
010. Hair color: poop brown
011. Eye color: my eye doctor said blue, so there
012. Where were you born: Chillicothe, OH
013. Where do you reside now: same, but in a dorm in Columbus for another 4 months or so
014. Age: 21
015. Screen names: let's just stick with ShivaKat9
016. E-mail addy: cottrill dot 27 at osu dot edu... and a backup that I only use to sign up for multiple accounts and the like :P
017. What does your screen name stand for: ShivaKat is 5 or 6 years old... I created a character that was a cross between FF7's Shiva and a member of Red XIII's species from the same game... she doesn't really exist anymore because I evolved her into Haneyuki and Chibishi >.>
020. Pets: two cats, Misty and Ginger; dog, Lady; betta fishie, Phoenix
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake: probably none... my mom might've stuck one on there to be cute... can't remember (a true answer to this question is pointless considering you've already asked my freakin' age)
022. Piercings: ears, one each, and I haven't worn earrings since senior prom, I don't think
023. Tattoo's: none
024. Shoe size: 8 to 8 1/2
025. Righty or lefty: right
026. Wearing: light blue/dark gray Aeropostale long-sleeved T-shirt and blue jeans
027. Hearing: Whose Line, though that'll end in about 5 minutes
028. Feeling: a headache coming on
029. Eating/drinking: nothing... had a little Phish Food a couple hours ago...
~Guys/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~
061. Have you ever been in love: yeah
062. How many people have you said "I love you" to: mm... 6 or 7? most of which are family
063. How many people have you been in love with: one
064. How many people have you kissed: one... but that didn't count >_<
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex: heh nah
066. How many people have you dated: none
067. What do you look for in a guy/girl: nice smile, some sense of self-consciousness, sensitivity, mature sense of humor... generally someone who makes me feel like I matter
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: smile and eyes
069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for: hard to say
073. Do you have a crush right now: no
074. If so who is it: moving along
075. Do you believe in love at first sight: no
076. Do you remember your first love: you know, somehow I do >.>
077. Who is the first person you kissed: in the immortal words of Kristen... I recline >:P
078. Do you believe in fate: yes and no
079. Do you believe in soul mates: wouldn't I like to
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours: not unless they come looking for me
~Family Stuff~
104. How many siblings do you have: one
105. What are your parents names: Charlie and Jayne
106. What are your siblings names: Chris
107. How many siblings does your mother have: 4
108. How many siblings does your father have: 3, but one passed away
109. Where are your parents from: same place I'm from
110. Is your family close: kinda... but kinda no... we're important to each other but not really tight-knit, if that makes sense
111. Does your family get together for holidays: just Christmas, and some of them on Thanksgiving
112. Do you have a drunk uncle: I have a couple uncles who drink, but not the stereotypical disgusting lush, no
113. Any medical problems run through your family: lots and lots... pancreatic/abdominal cancer, various sinus junk, sarcoid, heart/cholesterol trouble... my golden years are gonna be lovely if I make it that far
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee: heh not to my knowledge
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews: one nephew
116. Are your parents divorced: no
117. Do you have step parents: no
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family: not my immedate family... otherwise, I'm not really sure...
120. Did some of your family come to America/Canada from another country: no, unless you go about half a dozen generations back
~Music Stuff~
121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life: dude, I could give you a list... dig through my Subprofile to find a few
122. What's the most embarrassing cd you own: Macarena :P
123. What's the best cd you own: BLOOD International (until I get Gackt - Crescent at least ^^)
124. What song do you absolutely hate: once again, I can give you a list... how about... anything by Britney, NSYNC, BSB, and every other poppy wannabe 'artist' out there
125. Do you sing in the shower: not out loud
126. What song reminds you of that special someone: what special someone?
~Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs!~
127. Pink: most girls want a man with the bling bling, got my own thing, got the ching ching
128. Aerosmith: I go craaaazy, craaaazy, craaaazy for you baaaaabaaay, you turn it on then you're gone, yeah you drive me craaaazy...
129. Madonna: hey Mr. DJ, put a record on, I wanna dance with my baby
130. Korn: each day I feel so hollow, inside I was beating me, you will never see, so come dance with me
131. Backstreet Boys: pass
132. The Beatles: yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
133. Sublime: lovin' is what I got, I said remember that
134. J.Lo: pass
135. Nsync: pass
136. Limp: pass
137. Stacie Orrico: pass (sensing a trend?)
138. Creed: with arms wide open, now everything has changed, I'll show you love, I'll show you everything
139. Britany Spears: pass
140. Good Charlotte: pass
141. Christina Aguilera: pass
142. Eminem: Hi! my name is What? my name is Who? my name is chika-chika Slim Shady
144. Kelly Clarkston: pass
145. Kelly Osbourne: pass
146. Mandy Moore: pass
147. Eve: pass
148. Aaliyah: say yes or say no, cause I really need somebody, tell me are you that somebody?
149. Nelly: andale andale mami eeyah eeyah uh ooooohh *guessing*
150. Alicia Keys: pass
151. Incubus: pass
~Favorites~
152. Color: blue
153. Food: depends on the week... anything with chicken, shrimp, noodles, Oreo... Ben & Jerry's...
154. Song: again, depends on the week... just about anything by Gackt, Dir en Grey - Embryo, X Japan - Art of Life, and a buttload of others
155. Show: Whose Line is it Anyway
156. School subject: Japanese :P
157. Band/singer/artist: Gackt, followed by Dir en Grey and BLOOD
158. Animal: white tiger
159. Outfit: uh... I just yank a shirt and some jeans out of the closet every morning
160. Radio station: 97.1
161. Movie: I do not know... it might be Moon Child soon :P
162. Pair of shoes: all I ever wear is my 2 year old Nike sneakers
163. Cartoon: Futurama
164. Actor: don't really have one
165. Actress: see above
166. Potato chip: BBQ and Sour Cream & Onion
167. Drink: dunno... lately all I drink is juice...
168: Soda: Mountain Dew
169. Holiday: Christmas
170. Perfume/cologne: don't use any.... I prefer Bath & Body Works lotion
171. Pizza topping: banana!!!
172. Jello flavor: any? you can't go wrong with Jello, man
173. Lunch meat: ham
174. Card Game: Uno :P memories...
175. Video game: Final Fantasy 7
176. Website: BLOOD's homepage, Neopets and Neocolours, Mina-P's Gackt lyrics page, Tattered Cloth...
177. Book: not reading much lately
178. Computer game: ask again in 4 or 5 months...
179. Number: 7
180. Cereal: Oreo O's
181. Comedian: Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie
182. Dessert: Ben & Jerry's, or any cake made by my dad because he's awesome
183. Disney character: I... don't know...
184. Clothing store: none really
185. Past time: screwing around online, feelin' J-rock :P
186. Teacher: I miss Kashiwagi-sensei :\ as for current teachers... um... Jody (psych) is cool, but Terada-sensei is adorable... she's Japanese schoolgirl in every way dangit
187. Childhood toy: wow... um... when I was really really little I loved this little dump truck... >.o
188. Carnival game/ride: roller coasters
189. Candy bar: lots... Kit Kat comes to mind
190. Magazine: don't read any
191. Salad dressing: French
192. Thing to do on the weekend: doodle until my fingers fall off while listening to J-music
193. Hot drink: now, cappucino :p
194. Season: winter
195. Sport to watch: can't think of one
196. Person to talk to online: recently... Dumplin', Adion, Willard
~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
197. What color are your sheets: at home, light blue... in the dorm, white
198. What color are your bedroom walls: some nasty lavender color >.> but that should change soon...
199. Do you have posters on your wall: yeah a few
200. If so of what: Snoopy, tigers, and Gackt
202. How many pillows are on your bed: two regular ones at home, one regular one and an ocelot throw pillow in the dorm
203. What do you normally sleep in: old baggy T-shirt and plaid loungey pants
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: I don't wear sets, and I've lost about 3 pairs of pajama pants in the last few months... before that, it was my plaid Snoopy lounge pants with pretty much any old T-shirt
205. What size bed do you have: uh, waterbed?
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed: see above :P and I had a daybed before the waterbed, which I got about 5 years ago
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom: nope, don't need one
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: geez... bizarrely I really can't remember... probably the one where Phoenix got flex >.>
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: they're always on the bed somewhere, and occasionally snugged in the crook of my elbow, yes
211. How many people can comfortably sleep comfortably in your bed: one, or two if I like em :p
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions: no... then my muscles and joints cramp up and I'm sore for days... yes, I'm 80 years old inside
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling: no, but I used to
214. Do you snore: when I have a cold
215. How about drool: yeah :P
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room: I bloody well better
217. What color is the carpet in your room: my bedroom has old scraps in various shades of brown, plus some rugs... in the dorm I have an ice blue berber remnant
218. What's under your bed: at home, nothing... in the dorm, my suitcase when it's not in use
~This or that~
219. loser/wannabe: losers are more tolerable
220. Doughnuts/bagels: depends on the day... doughnuts have yummy fillings, but much can be done with bagels...
221. Day/night: night
222. Good witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: wicked witch baby
223. Heaven/hell: kiss in the heaven place ^^
224. Make love/have sex: make love
225. Coffee/tea: cappucino
226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: both
227. Rap/rock: rock
228. Britney/Christina: both need to fall into an interdimensional abyss for eternity
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: provolone
230. Real World/Road Rules: both suck
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: see Britney/Christina answer
232. Silver/gold: silver
233. Nike/Adidas: Nike
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Taco Bell
235. Sweet/sour: sweet
236. Punk/emo: Kyo :D he counts as punk lol
237. Hot/cold: cold
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
238. Winter/summer: winter
239. Spring/fall: FALL!!!!!! *kicks spring into the next century*
240. Operas/plays: plays
241. Read/watch tv: mm, watch tv
242. Cd's/tapes: MP3s
243. Dvd's/vhs: DVDs
244. Old/new: ok, this is so ridiculously broad I'm not even gonna think about an answer
245. Shorts/skirts: neither
246. Pink/red: red
247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: color
248. Meat/vegetables: meat if it's not red
249. Mexican food/chinese food: Chinese
250. Commercials/infomercials: commercials, especially Japanese ones :3
251. Scary movies/comedies: comedies... but only good ones... lately comedies suck because they're aimed at testosterone-pumped high school jock males who find farting hysterical... sad
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: those two-piece things with boy shorts
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: tennis shoes
254. Dogs/cats: meow~
255. Unicorns/fairies: faeries
256. Water/land: water
257. Sugar/spice: sugar, unless it's dessert-type spice
258. Black/white: depends... both?
259. ribbons/bows: ribbons
260. Chicken/beef: chicken
261. Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: white in nice patterns and themes and stuff
262. Cars/trucks: cars
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: uh, hard to say
264. Popcorn/pretzels: popcorn
265. Hip/hop: um...
266. Passionate kiss/peck: depends on the mood, both can be fun
267. WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: *ahem* eh... real...
268. Back rub/foot massage: back rub
269. Picture frames/photo albums: albums hold more
270. Pens/pencils: pencils
~What Is Your Opinion On The Following~
271. Eminem: annoying, and his 'critics can bite me' gimmick got old years ago
272. Virgins: *salute*
273. God: my reason for still being here
274. The Osbournes: no thanks
275. Reality TV: pain in the neck
276. J.Lo: Selena... I used to love that movie
277. Religion: causes a whole lot of unnecessary problems because people are stupid
278. Emo music: *shrug*
279. Valentine's Day: another money-grabbing scheme by greeting card and candy companies
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: comeback from where?
281. Homosexuals: let em live how they want
282. Abortion: opposed, unless the mother's and/or baby's life is in real danger... no sense losing 2 lives
283. Inter-racial relationships: why the heck not
284. Murder: a total waste
285. Death: inevitable
286. Obesity: it happens... some people take it too far, but sometimes it's no one's fault
287. Pre-marital sex: hey, if you think it's the right time, go for it
288. Terrorism: something that can never be stamped out no matter what Dubya-baka says
289. Pornography: waste of time and resources
290. Fortune Tellers: entertaining, not to be taken seriously
291. Threesomes: *giggle*
292. Prostitution: I see no positives whatsoever
293. Politics: waste of my already-limited brainpower
294. Country music: annoying as fark
295. George W. Bush: *claws eyes out* blood feud, blood feud...
296. Cloning: shouldn't exist... man wasn't meant to be a supreme being... he's too much of an idiot
297. Britney's boobs: you're asking the wrong person
298. Gas prices in America: insane
~Name Game~
What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?...
299. Jack: Kerouac
300. Tiffany: aaaand I said what about Breakfast at Tiffany's...
301. Ben: Gentle Ben
302. Maria: ai subeki hito ga ite... or, itami nado nai kara mo nakanaide...
303. Jennifer: Love Hewitt
304. Nicole: Kidman
305. Amy: my first real best friend who I stopped associating with for a reason and she doesn't seem to comprehend this
306. Adam: Sandler
307. Richard: Simmons :P
308. Justin: my first friend from church
309. Arnold: come with me if you want to live
310. Tom: that dork from Daria
311. Melissa: my former academic advisor whom I don't really miss at all
312. Charlotte: Charlotte's Web
313. Harold: the bully kid from Hey Arnold
314. John: by the time you read this letter, I'll be gone... if you remember that, I salute you :P
315. Joel: I used to love that name heh
316. Vanessa: my RA who rocks
317. Michelle: the little brat from Full House
318. Kevin: Smith ;_; (the actor, not the director)
319. Brent: I don't know...
320. Jake: Less Than Jake
321. Billy: some dippy movie character I can't remember now
322. Sarah: blond with glasses O.o
323. Natalie: ...can I not comment?
324. Christy: La'cryma Christi
325. Nick: hehe, Nick Davisson
326. Linda: my Sunday school teacher
327. Taylor: >.> <.< *refrain*
328. Jordan: I've had a thing for that name since I was like, 7 or 8 O.o
329. Jamie: my former youth leader, except he spelled it Jammie
330. Adrian: YO ADRIAN!
~Have You Ever....~
331. Mooned anyone: pff, no
332. Been on a diet: sort of
333. Been to a foreign country: no
334. Broken a bone: no... my nose doesn't count
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling: never had any of the above... well, except teeth... shut up
336. Swear at a teacher: no
337. Talked to an LJ member via e-mails or instant messages: yeah, but IMs came first
338. Got in a fight: not serious ones
339. Dated a teacher: no
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants: lol yeah... good times
341. Thought about killing your enemy: not really, no... never...
342. Gone skinny dipping: God, no
343. Met another LJ member in the flesh: not one I didn't know in real life already
344. Told a little white lie: sure
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell: I don't think so
346. Stolen anything: no
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid: probably lol
348. Been on TV: yeah, the local channel
349. Been on the radio: yep
350. Been in a mosh pit: no
351. Been to a concert: yes, and a J-rock one no less ^_^
352. Dated one of your best friends: no...
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry: not really
354. Deceived somebody close to you: I hope not
355. Broken the law: technically, yeah
356. Been to a rodeo: no
357. Been on a talk show: no
358. Been on a game show: nope
359. Been on an airplane: yeah, one round trip
360. Got to ride on a firetruck: maybe... not sure if it was actually moving though
361. Came close to dying: not really, really close
362. Cheated on a bf/gf: I wouldn't even consider it
363. Gave someone a piggy back ride: uh huh~
364. Terrorized a babysitter: I didn't have babysitters, except my grandma
365. Made a mud pie: no
366. Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff: not a cliff... various other high places though
367. Snuck out of the house at night: mm... not really
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name: I don't drink
369. Had an eating disorder: no... came close...
370. Felt like you didn't belong: how about every moment of my life
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel: see above
372. Smoked: no
373. Done drugs: no
374. Been arrested: no
375. Had your tonsils removed: no
376. Gone to camp: Woodland Altars, church camp, and band camp
377. Won a bet: I think so
378. Written a love letter: no
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love: kinda
380. Written a love poem: not really... well, maybe...
381. Kissed in the rain: no
382. Slow danced with someone you love: no... someone I liked, not but loved
383. Participated in cyber sex: moving along...
384. Faked an orgasm: why fake it? :P
385. Stolen a kiss: nah, but it sounds amusing
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice: nah, they ask me... which is scary :P
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf: no
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love: nope
390. Done jail time: was this not asked already?
391. Had to wear a uniform to work: what is work?
392. Won a trophy: yeah, small ones
393. Thrown up in public: yeah ;_;
394. Bowled a perfect game: pfff... I think my best score was in the 30s >.>
395. Failed/got held back: no
396. Got perfect attendance in grade school: yeah, go me
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds: no... I gotta do that someday... dad would love to join me
398. Taken ballet lessons: no
399. Attempted suicide: no
400. Cut yourself: not intentionally
~Childhood Stuff~
401. Did you play with Barbies: all the stinkin' time
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls: yeah!
403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210: I tried a few times, but it did nothing for me
404. Did you play Simon Says: ohhh yeah... good times
405. Did you watch Fraggle Rock: yeah ^_^
406. Did you wet the bed: not that I recall
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed: nah
408. Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them: heh... no
409. Were you shy: no, I was a brat
410. Were you spoiled: not until my older bro moved out, and by then I was old enough to appreciate it ><
411. Were you abused: no
412. Did you go to the circus: yeah, on a kindergarten field trip
413. Did you go to the zoo: several times, and not just as a kid ^^
414. Were you in a car accident: small ones... no one got hurt
415. Did you build snowmen: yeah
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee: if I did, I was REALLY little... like 5 or under
417. Were your older cousins mean to you: a few of them... the rest just ignored me
418. Did you think slinkies were cool: yeah hehe
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer: nah, just a cartoon... a good one though
420. Were you afraid of the dark: no, I loved the dark... still do
421. Did you have slumber parties: no
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, curtains, sleeping bags, dolls and pajamas: nah
423. Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany: no... eww
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy: for a few years
~Randomness~
425. Do you believe in aliens: not like the green big-egg-faced giant-eyed things that have been commercialized to death... but there may well be at least microscopic life out there... this universe seems waaaaaay too big to just have one planet supporting life
426. Name three things that are next to your computer: Fujiwara Teika's Superior Poems of Our Time (book for a J-lit project), Phoenix's tank, and a banana
427. Do you have any hidden talents: nothing cool
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos: I could care less... but sure... better than the crap it's turned into in the past decade
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be: some dumb drama
430. What would your movie star name be: how about... I don't know
431. Do you play any sports: no
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen: movies don't really get to me
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently: I couldn't tell you the last time I watched a movie
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen: dunno, I could think of dozens if I felt like taking the time
435. Do you drive: heh you could say that
436. What is your dream car: never really had one
437. Do you think your good looking: no
438. Do others think you are good looking: Willard claims to :P
439. Would you ever sky dive: oh yeah
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot: no
441. How many rooms do you have in your house: umm... 9? not counting hallways and stuff
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters: noooo~!
443. Do you believe in God: yep
444. Do you believe in Satan: yep
445. Do you believe there is a heaven: yep
446. Do you believe there is a hell: yep
447. Do you own a pool table: I used to have a bumper pool table, but we donated it to the church youth group, then it got destroyed
448. Do you have a pool: no *sigh*
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen: no
450. Do you like chocolate: yes... yes I do
451. Who/what is on your 2004 calendar: tigers... it's really cool :3
452. How many U.S. states have you been to: geez... um... *finds a map* I'm guessing 26, but I'm not sure
453. Ever wished on a shooting star: not a shooting star, no... I've only seen one in my life
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore: hippie... which is kinda sad :P
455. Do you carry any weapons on you: pepper spray
456. What is your weakness: in what aspect? feh... I'll say... cuddling :p don't ask
457. Name something you can't get enough of: Gackt :d~
458. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives: useless, introverted, awkward
459. How many kids do you want to have: none
460. Future daughters names: pass
461. Future sons names: pass
462. What is your ideal way to die: peacefully, painlessly... in sleep is good, but it'd be nicer to have the faces of the one(s) you love be the last thing you see
463. How do you release stress: J-rock and a nap
464. Do you consider yourself a trendy person: not by a long shot
465. Are you an artisitic person: I've been called that
466. Are you a realistic person?: in ways, yes
467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off: heh never
468. Are you a strong person: not really
469. Are you a strong willed person: when I want to be
470. Who is the last person to e-mail you: mom, I'm quite sure
471. Who is the last person to IM you: Willard
472. Do you hate chain e-mails: yes
473. Are you a deep sleeper: I wish
474. Are you a good story teller: no
475. What do you believe is your best quality: I would say I know when to keep my mouth shut, but I've learned that's a falsehood, so... I don't know
476. What is your greatest accomplishment: can't say... sad, no?
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense: candles, but I don't do it often
478. Do you do yoga: no
479. Do you have your own credit card: no... I prefer debit
480. Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money?: pay off college, buy a new car and computer, help out my relatives that need it, (not Greg >.>), go to Japan, put the rest in the bank if any's left
481. Do you have a check book: no
482. Do you like your drivers licence: it's better than my first one, but not really, no
484. What color is your hair naturally: poop brown
485. How many fillings do you have: none
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit: none
487. Worst feeling in the world?: knowing you're me?
488. Best feeling in the world: knowing someone loves you and is thinking of you and wants you to be happy
489. Is the glass half empty or half full: it's empty man... looooong empty
490. Last thing you downloaded: clips of Dir en Grey being dorks ^^
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life?: yeah lol
492. What do you think people think of you: that I'm too quiet and reserved to the point of possibly being on the creepy side... or to people who've known me for a while, to the point of being annoying
493. Are you a likeable person: no, can't say I am
494. Do you need therapy: no, I know what my problem is
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance: no
496. What the best way to be proposed to: any proposal seems good to me
497. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP?: no, they're not that stupid
499. When are you moving: I have no clue and I don't want to think about it
500. What's your favorite phrase: indeed... actually there are lots but I don't feel like thinking of them
Ok, that was an amusing little diversion. But now it's close to 1 a.m. and I still have half of a prospectus to type, oral drills to practice, and a lit reading to start. I want sleep.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 3/02/2004 12:52:00 AM
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