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wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
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I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
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wMonday, November 29, 2004 |
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feeling: confused
listening to: Moriyama Naotarou - Iki Toshi Ikeru Mono e (To All Living Things) is stuck in my head... I need that song T_T
Obviously this blog is rapidly descending into worthlessness again. My LJ's even worse. All I've put there lately is memes/quizzes and absolutely nothing.
So following the trend... today was weird. Aaaaaalll day. Weird.
Church was relatively normal, except toward the end a woman I didn't know came in and caught me on my way between rooms, and asked me if her young daughter was here. When she described her I assured her that the girl was in fact here, and she said she just wanted to be sure of where she was, and then left. Oooookie dokie.
Went home, ate lunch, and catnapped the afternoon away. Had a different completely weird and random dream with every little spurt of nap. One I remember rushing around trying to get in touch with Dumplin' about doing something together, and making myself late in the process... few others I can't remember, except waking up and thinking what the fook was that O_o. But the weirdest one had to be the one where I went on a date. Like, an abnormally normal date. Dinner and dancing in a low-lit fancy restaurant with a nice guy in a nice suit. Weirdest dream I've ever had, just because it was so normal. O_o
Then came the joys of brass ensemble practice, number one of three (which, most likely, also equals the number of performances we will have =_=). Learned that I can in fact still play my trumpet, and that I even still have all our 6 seasonal songs pretty much memorized... but also that my relationship with those stupid squeaky high notes at the top of every staff has taken a turn for the worse. Much worse. Ow, my lip.
Plan was to go home for half an hour after that to eat dinner and then return for choir, but instead Jess asked me to accompany her when she went to feed the goats she cares for, so I did. Then I had to drop something off at our pastor's house upon my mom's request, and he wasn't there but his wife was, so I ended up keeping her company for about an hour until he came home. She's a sweet woman... and one of the very few reasons I ever go to my childhood church anymore, after all I've seen happen with it in the past several years... but yeah, unexpected sidetrack there, though not an unpleasant one. I did end up staying there until 15 minutes before choir practice, which gave me just that long to go buy a cold sub for dinner and inhale it in a back room of the church before joining the rest of the group in the choir loft. Sang several songs that I actually like this time, and... ahem... *static buzz* ended up leaning on my shoulder for *buzzzzz crackle* which was nice and nostalgic, considering *crackle static buzzzzzz click silence...*
Then on the way home I realized I forgot to drop off another of mom's errands at the post office mailbox. So had to turn around and do that... then finally got home, and later mom informed me that she planned to make a run to the post office in the morning anyway. Yay. >_>
Then I finally made it online and almost immediately had *counts on fingers* six people IMing me... which is more than twice my average conversation load. X_x This after going through an evening of abnormal socialness, accompanying Jess, visiting the pastor's wife, 2 practices, and being leaned on *ahem*... I'm not used to being in heavy demand like that... *looks around at world* What do you want with me? T.T
Was kinda a cool experience though. >.> <.<
So now it's 2:30 and I haven't worked on the fanart all day. Heh, oops. Could've finished it tonight, too... oh well. He was never born anyway.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/29/2004 01:38:00 AM
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wSaturday, November 27, 2004 |
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feeling: eyes burn
listening to: Gackt - Saikai ~Story~
Eeeeeh. =___=
I'm more tired than I should be. Not sleep-tired, just weak and wobbly tired. And my eyes are burny and dry and I think my right lens has a hole in it. And my head feels all heavy. And my throat is just slightly off tonight. Darnit, I'm not scheduled to have another cold until the week of Christmas. Maybe I'm just sleep deprived...
So the more color I add to Kiwamu's birthday fanart, the less I like it. When just the eyes were done, it was spiffy. Then the rest of the face was done, and it was... not bad. Then all other skin areas were done, and it was... eh. Then the extensions were done, and it was just... >_<. Only two large areas remain to color... maybe the trend will turn around by the end... but yeah, thinking not much more is going to get done tonight, cause of the whole burning eyes thing.
Had our first snow of the year yesterday. Just a dusting, but flurries were falling pretty much all day, and were there to greet me when I got up in the morning and pulled back the curtain. It's finally winter. ^^
...And arg. Want to sleep but it hurts to close my eyes. Want to do stuff to keep busy but it hurts to hold my head up. This is turning into one of those nights... dareka ni dakarete itai dake nante... >.> <.<
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/27/2004 01:15:00 AM
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wSunday, November 21, 2004 |
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feeling: I want chocolate =_=
listening to: Itoshii Kimi E, current IC J-drama
So the laptop seems to be working now... as long as I don't jostle the cable too much and knock the broken end loose, it might stay that way... *gives it looks*
The brand new highway opened today, so just to be cool, we drove home from church on it this afternoon. It's funny... we all thought we'd known that area like the back of our hands for pretty much all our lives, and then they put a highway in the middle of it. Pretty surreal seeing the area I grew up in from an angle that didn't even exist before. Ten minutes on that road and I probably spent less than thirty seconds recognizing my surroundings.
"The five bionic monkeys of legend must rule the world." God, what they won't make into a kid's toy these days.
Anyway... I wanted to sit outside for a while tonight and enjoy the utter stillness of the evening. I'm not sure I've ever seen a night so completely silent and unmoving. Living in the woods there's always wind blowing leaves and branches, birds squawking, bugs screeching, animals tramping around, rain pounding, cars on the road, SOMEthing... but tonight there was nothing. Not even the barest whisper of a breeze. I could've spent a few hours outside listening to the silence and feeling the stillness. But I kinda had to go to choir practice.
Jumping back a day... I finished disc 1 of FF7 yesterday, and I played through the big death scene at the end several times just so I could see all the characters' individual reactions. Yuffie's is my favorite. Watched hers an extra time or two just because it was so cute. I always liked her. Same with Eiko of FF9. Yay for the annoying hyper little punk girls that everyone else hates!
I didn't reach my goal of getting Barret as my Gold Saucer date though. T_T That's the third failure... dangit, I will get him someday... *makes fists*
And finally, I actually started a Kiwamu fanart last night. Pencil sketch, MIGHT clean it up with ink and prismacolors when the sketch is done... not sure. Not counting on finishing it by Tuesday anyway, so if it takes extra time, that's just how life goes. I love it already though, so I WILL be finishing it. *giggles* It captures him. Hee.
Off to watch the end of this Itoshii Kimi E episode now. Think I like this show. Predictable but sweet. Must remember to find the main theme soon... it's by Moriyama Naotarou, who also sang Sakura, which I adore... <3
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/21/2004 08:26:00 PM
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wThursday, November 18, 2004 |
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feeling: eh
listening to: Whose Line
Well, my jam packed *cough* schedule this week was sort of thrown for a big ol' loop. Spent three days being anywhere from quite uncomfortable to just plain miserable thanks to the return of the ulcer. Am quite back to normal today though... so the thing should remain under control again for a few more months thanks to the wonder of drugs.
Still lacking my own computer too, since it went insane last week... or whenever that was... actually it still works fine, just lacks the internet... but I can't seem to get any use out of that machine if I can't go online from it. >_> Only thing I've used it for is to play music on large playlists that I don't have to get up and cross the room to play with every few minutes... so I can just spend the entire day vegging on the bed with dad's laptop on and let the beats play in the background. If I could get myself to sit down at that thing long enough to back everything up on my second hard drive and CDs, I could send it to the shop and have the problem fixed one way or another, but... eww. Backing stuff up is so tedious.
Sooo pretty much the only thing I've accomplished this week is those song translations, which I managed to finish right before my stomach flipped itself inside out. Still need to finish the week's corners (TWO WORDS refuse to put themselves into sense-making English >.<), and still have nothing in the way of Kiwamu fanart. Probably won't, either, unless I can think of something I can throw together with good ol' fashioned pencil and paper in just a few days or less. I have actually had no less than 3 ideas come up during my physical downtime, but none of them would look good in quickie pencils. Eh, we'll see what happens.
Thought I had something else to babble about, but if I did, it slips my mind... so meh. Wasn't important, I'm sure.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/18/2004 09:56:00 PM
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wMonday, November 15, 2004 |
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feeling: indifferent
listening to: nothing
I'm on the laptop again because my computer went insane a few days ago and came out of the ordeal internetless. This laptop sucks. Heh, you'd think I'd be just using this for internet use and doing all my file usage and projects and stuff (Photoshop, Word, music, videos, games...) on my own machine, but... I'm special that way. So now I lack my music too because I'm too lazy to get up and cross the room to mess with it. =_=
Translations of the new BLOOD songs are going pretty decent... 3 are effectively finished unless I happen to find anything I want to revise, another is only a couple lines from completion, and the hardest one is I think just over halfway done. Should be working on them now... eh... I will after I type this. >.> <.<
Anyway... today was among the more active days my life has had in the past month or two. Actually slept for MORE than four hours last night, just barely... went to church, came home, gave mom an Elvis birthday card that managed to tickle her considerably more than I expected, nephew and his daddy came for the afternoon, all took mom to Bob Evans for dinner, went to choir from there, came home, initiated the weekly tank cleaning (4 days overdue 9_9)... then finally sat down to turn on the International Channel and find my Calla online (Dumplin' too... wasn't expecting her since it was kinda late O.o). And glory hallelujah, Hey Hey Hey is back after all! *dance* Guess I was right... they did just take a couple weeks off, and tonight the show picked up right where it left off 3 weeks ago... and a really funny Gackt appearance is scheduled to be on in a few weeks. *jiggle* But hmm... Utada Hikaru was on tonight (or just Utada, as she apparently calls herself now), and she did a pretty different song, for her. Surprised me. Was called Devil Inside. But no, it wasn't a cover of the one by... uh, whoever the heck is credited for that song. All I know is that tons of bands have done it and INXS's is the only version I know. And heh, she was wearing a black shirt with a devil Hello Kitty on it, and playing guitar for once. Well, not really... just plucking the top string during the verses... but yeah, new Utada I guess.
Other news... the brass ensemble WILL live again this year. *groan* And our fearless leader WILL only bring us together to practice 3 or 4 times, half an hour each week. =___= They might not want me on first trumpet anymore... been so many years, I probably can't even touch those Es and Fs anymore. And I guess this also means I should stop chewing on my dried lips and making them bleed, as is my worst habit since I stopped nailbiting. Raw lips and brass mouthpieces do NOT a healthy combo make. ><
And I found out this weekend that two anime I used to watch on Cartoon Network religiously, Inuyasha and Rurouni Kenshin, are now both in positions where I can start watching them again without having missed half the story and being all lost. Inuyasha's current run has just a few episodes left till it gets to where the last run ended, and the Kenshin episode from last night was only, like, the second or third one. Whichever one Sanosuke came along in. Been a couple years, I forget. >.> Anyway... so yeah, assuming I can remember, I can start following those again.
And now I guess I'll get back to work on those lyrics... today was the third day of my allotted five, so I'd like to get them sent by the end of tomorrow if possible, both to make sure I beat the 13-hour time difference and to give him plenty of time to do whatever it is he wants to do with them...
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/15/2004 01:10:00 AM
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wFriday, November 12, 2004 |
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feeling: :O
listening to: BLOOD - Blind
Like woah, two posts in one evening. Gaspage. Well, heh... new stuff came up, and none of it really would've fit in with the last post, so no editing.
First, I finally listened to Gackt's The Sixth Day CD tonight, confirming that they are in fact new versions of former singles. And normally I prefer to leave that which is unbroken, untouched... but darnitall, I like this CD. He keeps all the details that make each song what it is, but manages to tweak them juuuust enough to improve them. Biggest difference to me was that the lyrics are sung more clearly, and the mixing is such that you can actually hear every word of each song. Some songs are changed more than others, but they all keep what made them what they were... and while I'll always like the original versions better just because they kinda set their own standards, the new versions ARE improvements. Becky likes.
Other news... Kiwamu asked me to translate the lyrics to the Japanese language songs that will appear on the CD they're releasing in December. And I think it was one of those things where he just randomly thought, "Hey, since we'll be selling this in Europe before anywhere else it should have English lyrics... aaa, but I need to have the booklet printed up in a week and I can't translate them that fast... Ask Becky! :O" Ahem, so there we go. I have 5 days to translate 5 new songs. Well, 3 actually, cause two of them are Blind and The Funeral for Humanity, which I've pretty much already translated because they were released as singles earlier. And it was funny, cause after I told him I'd do it he was like "This times, your work will be CD^^ that good ne?" XD *pets him* But yeah... so much for having time over the next week to work on Kiwamu's fanart, na? :P Oh well. He was never born. *nod*
And now it's juuuust about time for bed... not that I can sleep... @.@
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/12/2004 05:25:00 AM
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feeling: owwww =_=
listening to: Matsu Takako - Sakura Fuwari
Gah. In true opposite-of-last-week fashion, I have had a nice run of restless nights this week. There have been headaches, aching eyes, my nephew, my cat, bad dreams... yeah, even on the nights I was able to get a decent amount of sleep, the dreams were enough to make nights restless. And as a result, I'm not tired, but I'm not awake either. Just... idle.
There are other factors in that, of course. Mostly today. Nephew was here to make me his windup doll again, and this time he also made me his jungle gym, climbing and squirming and pawing all over me... sharp elbows and hard skull jabbing and bruising some very tender flesh... ahem. *whine* Still sore, and not exactly at my most perky after that.
Then he left and I got started on a Photoshop play-around session that, if successful, I planned to use for my Kiwamu fanart... but after about 2 hours of work, just when it was starting to take shape, the power went out. Which also knocked out our internet for... I dunno, half an hour or so. Tried again later with a slightly different idea, but scrapped it on my own... then started a third that I think is actually the one success of the three, and this time I saved the frigging thing. Still don't think I'm gonna be able to finish this fanart in a week and a half though. And the part I laid out tonight is just the background (or main idea of it)... still no idea what to do for the actual Kiwamu... had an idea, but I'm afraid it'd clash too much with the BG. So then I thought of another possible BG that wouldn't clash so much... and... well, I like BG idea #1, but not with Kiwamu idea #1... and BG idea #2 wouldn't work with Kiwamu idea #1... and Kiwamu idea #2 does not exist... and I'm confusing myself, so I'll move on.
Ow. Sudden random stomach cramp.
Anyway... then a certain short tempered Asian boy I happen to, ah, communicate with has been annoying the crap out of me and my dear Calla... being all snarky and pompous and confusing at various points *still trying to piece my brain back together after the last convo*... but it's impossible to be mad at him, because as a defense mechanism, he has learned to be sickeningly CUTE, even when he ticks people off. >_< Makes you want to kill him by constriction of hugging.
Also, the mini-punk Pixel has had puffy swim bladder problems twice this week. Bloated, floating at the surface, can't swim down and stay there no matter how she tries. Kinda funny though... she doesn't seem to realize anything's wrong with her. Little live wire still flits all over the tank waggling and barking at me when I come within sight, like the demented little attention-craving pixie she is.
Owww. Stupid evil little nephew elbows. Hurts just to bring my arms together in front of me and type. =___= I've never wanted a massage so bad in my life...
I'm kidding.
:P
*slowly backs away*
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/12/2004 01:55:00 AM
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wThursday, November 11, 2004 |
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feeling: cuddly
listening to: Happatai - Yatta... again...
I remembered. :P
So this was... interesting. Two nights ago I had changed into my sweatshirt and curled up under the comforter to sleep... and I kept hearing a fly buzzing. Like, muted buzzing, as if it were stuck and trying to fly free. So I figured it was just lying on its back somewhere or stuck between floorboards or something (yay for plywood floors >.>) and tried to sleep. And then I felt the little beast crawling on my side.
Of course, I knew it was just the annoying stuck fly. But this did not stop me from jumping a mile in the air and making some sort of UUIIIEEEEEGH noise at the tickly feeling, and then finding myself on my feet beside the bed doing some sort of phrenetic dance while shaking the living daylights out of my shirt.
Foul beast.
Anyway... something else I think I meant to mention was that one of the big major important people at church talked to me a while ago about wanting to bring back the brass ensemble to play at our Christmas program this year. Which would mean pretty much every member of the most influential *ahem* family in the church (head of which is this big major important person's son), one of their cousins, and me on first trumpet, playing songs we played every year there for a while but have not seen in probably 3 or 4 years. But I have not heard anything more of the idea since then. He better not be expecting everyone to be able to just break our instruments out of storage and practice two or three times, once a week for half an hour, and then go out and play lovely brassy carols. >.> I do miss playing trumpet... many of my few remotely enjoyable high school memories were of playing in pep band... but never was crazy about the brass ensemble. I'm the single first trumpet in it, which means I have all the melodies and leads and parts of the song that make the song what it is... so if I screw up there's no missing it. >.> Prefer being in a larger group.
Ahem... been a while since I rambled about that. Or even thought about it. Trumpet was fun...
Anywaaaay. I think I finally have an idea of sorts for Kiwamu's fanart... but I am extremely doubtful that I can pull it together in less than 2 weeks. >< So I may have to save it for just a general submission... but that still leaves me with no clue as to what to do for this month.
Oh well. He was never born anyway, so he can't complain, can he? :p
And my stomach is doing weird things tonight, so I should go to bed before it keeps me awake all... morning.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/11/2004 03:00:00 AM
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wWednesday, November 10, 2004 |
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feeling: uh... not sure
listening to: Happatai - Yatta
Hmm...
I had stuff I was gonna talk about here, but now I forget what it was...
Anyway, for starters, Hey Hey Hey! is apparently not on the International Channel anymore. >_< Been watching that every Sunday for 2 1/2 years and now it's gone... it's still listed on IC's online program schedule, but it sure as heck wasn't on this past Sunday, and my cable listings have a different title in that slot now... I'm hoping beyond hope that they're just taking a break from broadcasting for a couple weeks, or something...
Dangit, what was I gonna talk about...
Well, hey, Thanksgiving is coming. That means lots and lots of food. *_* Gotta say I'm all for any holiday that means my dad spends 3 days cooking enough food to feed an army and then only ends up having at the most 10 people to feed it to... best meal time of the year, and leftovers to last for weeks after... *drool*
And I kinda wish I didn't love this blog's template so much. Cause if I liked any of the newer default templates or could be bothered to hunt for one I did like, I bet I'd actually get email notification when I get comments here. >.> <.< Course I could just migrate to LJ for good, where I get comment notification AND can respond to comments and people actually know it... meh. Lousy Blogger for making me cling to my pretty 3 year old template.
That was random. I STILL can't remember what I was going to say.
I got Yatta the other day (obviously, if the italics above are any indication). Yes, the song from the infamous flash. That song is so freaking insane. And it makes me so freaking HAPPY. >_>
Still no ideas for Kiwamu's birthday fanart, either. Well, there was one, but I didn't think I'd be able to do it, because his face shape and such didn't agree with the composition. And sure enough, when I gave it a test run in Photoshop, it was a biiiiig no-go. Why have I never once been able to think of art ideas for that boy? I've had dozens of Fu-ki ideas, slightly fewer Kaede ones, and I can't remember ever having ONE Kiwamu idea. Kiwamu should be the easiest one... >_>
Been finding myself in a few strange, unexplained bouts of quiet cuddly giddiness of late. O_o I mean, yeeeeah, I did have 3 awesome days in a row there late last week, but life's pretty much back to normal and yet still every now and then I get into these *sits there with eyes half closed grinning like a dip* things. Hmm. But then, at other moments of the day I still have the occasional mini-funk of boredom and uselessness, so I guess there's no cause for alarm yet. :P
I've done well moving on from the ugly chapter in my past that I mentioned in the last post, though. Ever since I found the answer to that dilemma and threw away its remnants, life's been good. Maybe that explains the unexplained occasional quiet giddiness. I dunno.
So... all this babbling and I still never did figure out what I came here to say. Maa ee wa.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/10/2004 01:06:00 AM
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wWednesday, November 03, 2004 |
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feeling: geh...
listening to: The TRAX - Paradox
Sigh. I feel like ranting, but I don't really have anything to rant about. So I came to Blogger intent on staring at the text box for a while until a post came out. Usually when that happens I end up with lots of completely pointless babble that no one really cares about - not even myself. There's your warning. :P
My stomach's been doing weird things all day. It's not the ulcer, it's just... special. And the nephew was here today so I had to just deal with it while he made me his windup doll again. But he's gone home at last, so now I get to complain. :P It's nothing critical, just blargy enough to be annoying... nothing I'm not used to after dealing with various stomach weirdnesses since I was... eh, 11 or 12 years old. I just like to complain, as anyone reading this should know.
Have had loads of art inspirations over the past few days ('loads' to me anyway), but haven't had the time and/or motivation to act on any of them. Well, except one. I actually started that Jemnezmy/Pollensalta/Snow fanart. Assuming I ever actually finish it, it's gonna end up a lot more generic than I'd originally envisioned... but eh. More likely scenario is I'll never touch it again. Couple other specific things I'd envisioned, but they'll probably never get anywhere. And now it's time to figure out what to do for Kiwamu's (un)birthday fanart. I'm not as concerned about getting his submitted on time, because he has recently decided to remove his birthdate from his websites, and has even asked fansite owners to do the same. He was never born. :P So whatever. If he gets his late, he can deal. But I still need to think of something... *mind is even more blank than it was with Kaede's giftie last month*
Need to clean the tanks tonight, but I really don't feel like it.
I found a BitTorrent site that has a game I've wanted for several months, but my download has been stuck at 98% for days now. I've used up all my chances at free trials, and I THINK this is the full version... the site's not very specific, plus it's in Spanish... >.> And it required me to sign up and get a password via email... so someone darn well better get back online and let me finish it. I tried getting it on Soulseek too, but no luck there. Even if I find it, no one's ever online long enough for me to finish it, plus apparently you have to download all the files for it individually. The .exe itself, plus every graphic, every sound file... EVERYthing. Yuck. =_=
Heh, on that note, the main reason I got Soulseek was because I found someone on LJ who has a huge friggin' collection of Miyavi pictures uploaded there. Like, thousands. And good Miyavi pics are much harder to find than they should be. But she's never online to share them... >_<
Thinking of playing some more FF7 now... but don't really feel like moving...
So yeeeeah... the moral of the story is, Becky seems to be in the middle of another slump. I'm fine, just kinda don't want to do or even think about anything. It's weird... it always takes me a few days to realize when this happens, cause mentally/emotionally I feel totally normal. But then when I sit down and try to DO something - an art project, a translation, a book, a game, a conversation, whatever - and just keep zoning out before I can make any progress or contributions, and when the same pattern lasts for more than a couple days, THEN the nature of the slump becomes clear.
Anyway... um... I want chocolate, but my stomach's being too mean. T_T
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/03/2004 06:47:00 PM
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