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wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
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I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
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wSunday, August 31, 2003 |
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feeling: weak
listening to: Bangles - Eternal Flame
-I am: a little on the anxious side today
-I think: I'm putting myself through more anxiety than necessary
-I know: now, how 'Asai' felt 4 or 5 years ago
-I want: the same thing
-I need: a fire lit under me to get me going sometimes
-I have: a weird little fluttery feeling in my stomach
-I wish: life were fair
-I hate: when I don't know what to say
-I miss: a certain dear friend after logging off of AIM
-I fear: what would happen if I lost what I've just found
-I feel: like I should clarify a thing or two when the opportunity arises
-I hear: that chick from the Bangles singing "do you understand, do you feel the same, am I only dreaming, or is this burning an eternal flaaaame"
-I smell: barbecue from dinner
-I crave: something mint-flavored
-I search: for words quite often, and usually don't find them
-I wonder: if we'll ever really know for sure what all this is about
-I regret: not being more open when I'm asked
-I love: experiencing the late-night chats and escapades of a tough-guy puppy and a mischievous mood-kitten >:P
-I long: to find whatever it is I'm looking for before I'm too old to recognize it
-I care: too much for my own good
-I always: end up with a foot jammed snugly into my mouth
-I am not: the angst-filled, lonely pessimist that some make me out to be
-I believe: why, that age is just a number, of course
-I dance: like no one's watching - but only when no one's watching
-I sing: whenever I know the words... and often when I don't as well
-I cry: very, very rarely, for reasons I've never known
-I do not always: live up to my own expectations... even the easy ones
-I fight: with no one. I'm a lover, not a fighter :3
-I write: many blogs that never get published, many letters that never get sent, many messages that end up getting erased
-I win: whenever I can
-I lose: all traces of loneliness through just the simplest little messages and encounters
-I never: say anything that I don't mean
-I confuse: pretty much everyone... it's a gift
-I listen: 1) to music that fits my mood, 2) to anyone who needs listened to... I'm a much better listener than talker
-I can usually be found: in my room, at the computer desk
-I am scared: of every vehicle that pulls in the driveway when I'm home alone, since July 6 of last year
-I am happy about: the way things have been over these past few days
-I expect: to get a big ol' slap in the face come next summer -_-
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 8/31/2003 08:22:00 PM
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wThursday, August 28, 2003 |
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feeling: full
listening to: noises downstairs
This little story is for Dumplin' cause she asked what the comment about the eye-gouging device in my AIM info meant. Enjoy. :P
So tonight around 8:50 I decided to get myself some homemade mint chocolate chip ice cream, which is kept in the big freezer in the basement because, being homemade, 1) the container is too big to fit in the fridge freezer and 2) the ice cream stays softer in the big freezer but seems to get really hard and stiff in the fridge freezer. Anyway, so I go down there and find that Dad has put a bunch of... junk... on top of said freezer, meaning I had to move it to get to my ice cream. First I hefted and moved a big stack of genuine cast iron skillets in various sizes, which wasn't so bad. Then I bypassed the less weighty objects (am I smart or what?) and went for this long, thin box whose contents I didn't know. Well, I was surprised to learn that this box was tremendously heavy. So I tipped one end up a bit and tried to kind of slide it off the freezer and let the lower end land on the floor, so it would prop itself up against the front of the freezer, allowing passage to my ice cream. No such luck. Instead, as soon as I tilted the box, its lower end gave way and out poured its contents - a wider-than-my-arm bundle of long, thin, stiff metal wire rod things, about | | <---that wide and maybe 2 feet long each, with VERY sharp ends. Sharp ends that landed all over my legs and feet, making me wonder how on earth my clothes weren't ripped to shreds. And really, I consider myself lucky that I only ended up with one puncture wound on one toe.
Anyhow, after running upstairs and washing the blood off my toes, cleaning the wound, and bandaging it complete with campho, I went back downstairs and picked up every last filthy, stinking metal wire/rod thing, stuffing them back into the box until they were so tightly packed I couldn't bother with trying anymore. I then propped the stupid box up on the floor like I intended to in the first place, flung the rest of the (non-heavy) junk off the freezer, filled a bowl with ice cream, and gorged till I felt like exploding. Then made the observation that, on the bright side, now I know where I can find some nice sharp weapons perfect for gouging out human eyes in the event that some worthless slime tries to break into this house again.
...The flavor and aroma of mint is a soothing agent. >_>;;
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 8/28/2003 10:21:00 PM
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wMonday, August 18, 2003 |
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feeling: thumb... pain... ow...
listening to: Trigun is on
Seems I'm having another one of those... things. You know, those periods where my mind just sort of goes on vacation without me and I'm left with no motivation, no inspiration, no ideas, no energy, and nothing interseting to say for anywhere from a few weeks to a couple months. It's not depressed, it's not sad, it's just... well, kinda like artist's block, but applies to everything, not just art. Person's block? Becky's block? I dunno. But yeah. If I seem especially quiet and unmotivated for a while, that's why. Don't worry, it happens once or twice a year for reasons I never can figure out... serious pain in the neck, but it always passes eventually.
Dumplin', sorry I didn't make it over the other day ;_; Thanks for being understanding that day though... whatever you're thinking is the main reason, you're probably right... :P Hope you guys had fun!
In other news, I think my little stud Sekiray (old pic, newer pic) is finally standing on his last limbs, so to speak. He was probably more than halfway through his 2-year lifespan when I bought him, and that was over 8 months ago. He just seems to have slowed down a lot these last couple weeks, and almost acts like he doesn't have the strength to carry his heavy fins around anymore. I fear his days are growing short... poor little beefcake... *sigh*
I'm gonna stop typing now... apparently I injured my thumb in the past 24 hours, and it hurts like mad to move it. =_= Later days.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 8/18/2003 01:35:00 AM
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wTuesday, August 12, 2003 |
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feeling: decent
listening to: Futurama
Remember way back when I first discovered the Japanese drama slot on the International Channel, and the drama Wedding Planner was my obsession o' the moment? Hard to believe it's been a whole year now. I was so peeved back then that I'd missed the first more-than-half of the 11 episode series, and I knew it'd never air again on any TV channel I had access to. Anyhow, the good news: now, a year later, I have found the entire Wedding Planner series available for download through BitTorrent - subtitled in English. *does a jig*
Anyway, this leads to further news... the most recent drama on IC, called Itsumo Futari De, just ended this past weekend... and go figure, I loved the heck out of it. I don't even know why. It was the most predictable series I've seen yet, and the plot was about as cliche as they come. Heh, before seeing the end I was all set to see some big unexpected event to shake up the ending, as I've seen in all the other dramas I've watched - the Toru/Kanako/Tak-kun's new daddy thing in Wedding Planner, Asakura moving to America and her sempai following her in Nurse no Shigoto 4, the mob kidnapping and Mr. Suitcase, Hero Extraordinnaire in Home & Away - but Itsumo Futari De didn't surprise me at all. It ended exactly as I expected. Well, except when Mizuho kept giggling at... er, inopportune times. That made up for the predictability. x)
Anyhow, so after finishing Itsumo Futari De, I made it a new mission to find it subtitled. Unfortunately, subbed dramas are incredibly hard to find, and most are only fansubbed, which makes it even harder. But in my search, I stumbled across Wedding Planner, which gives me hope. Someday I'll own the predictably happy little tale of Mizuho and Kenta-kun. I can wait a year if need be. *sits and waits*
Buuut in the meantime... I've decided to begin my third J-pop translation effort. My victim: Kimi o Sagashiteta by Chemistry... a.k.a. the main theme of Wedding Planner. Yeah. I tried to translate it a year ago, but I just didn't know enough of the language at the time. But now I do, and I'm feeling confident.
Off we go~
Kitto kizukenakatta
Kimi ni hajimete deau sono toki made wa
Hitori de ikite yukeru to omotte aruiteta n da
Jitto kakaekondeta
Donna mayoi mo, donna kokoro nokori mo
Adokenai hohoemi ga zenbu fukitobashite kureta
*Zutto zutto kimi no soba de
Dare yori mo chikai kono basho de
Nani yori mo tsuyoi kimochi de boku wa
Kimi o mamoritsuzukeru
Yatto wakatta hazu na no ni
Mukiatta totan ni tsuyogatte misetari shite...
Kore made mo kore kara mo kurikaesu ka mo shirenai
Tsutaetai kotoba sae
Mitsukerarenai toki wa namida nagasou
Boku-tachi futari naraba subete norikoete yuku darou
*(repeat)
Hikari no mabushii asa de mo
Kaze no fukitsuzukeru yoru de mo
Itsu no hi de mo kawaranai kimochi de
Boku dake o mitete hoshii
Hoshi tsubu kazoete tameiki tsuita
Kore dake no guuzen no naka de
Tatta hitotsu, futari no naka ni
Umareta mono wa kiseki nanka ja nai kara
*(repeat)
Kyou mo ashita mo asatte mo
Dore dake no toki ga tatte mo
Kore dake wa kawaranai n da
Boku wa kimi dake o mitsumeteiru
Kitto wakatteta n da
Kimi ni hajimete deatta sono toki ni wa
Sagashitsuzuketeta n da
Boku wa kimi o sagashiteta
Boku wa kimi o sagashiteta
Boku wa kimi o sagashiteta
Movin' right along...
It surely went unnoticed
Until that day, when I first ran into you
I was just walking along, thinking
I could go on living alone
Patiently I'd taken it upon myself
No matter the doubts I had, or the remnants left of my heart
That innocent smile chased it all away [1]
*Always, always by your side
In this place, closer to you than anyone
With feelings stronger than anything,
I'll continue to protect you
Even though I thought I finally understood
When we opposed each other then,
We bluffed each other, we tried to show off... [2]
Everything up to now and from now on,
Maybe we'll do it all over again
When I can't even find the words I want to say
I feel like crying
If you and I were together,
We would overcome it all [3]
*(repeat)
Even in the brilliantly lit mornings,
Even at night when the wind blows,
No matter what the days bring
With unchanging feelings, please look only at me
Counting the stars, I sighed
In this, my only chance...
Being only 'one' in the middle of 'us',
The things that arise aren't miracles or anything like that [4]
*(repeat)
Today, and tomorrow, and the day after
No matter what times befall us
This alone will never change:
I will look only at you
Surely, I finally understood
At that time when I first ran into you,
I was still searching then...
I was searching for you
I was searching for you
I was searching for you
Heh, this was cake compared to Itsuka Kimi Ga. :S Just a few footnotes...
[1] The end of this line is 'fukitobashite kureta', and the 'kureta' part actually makes it translate to something like 'chased it all away for me (as in, for my sake, as a favor to me, etc.). I didn't include that in the translation, because I think the meaning still comes through, but I thought I'd add that anyway.
[2] I can translate every word of this verse, but it still sounds funny when I put it in English. >_< It came out ok I guess, but I just had to add that this line reminds me so much of the relationship of Toru and Kanako (the lead roles in Wedding Planner), it's not funny. In the beginning of the series they opposed each other in EVERYthing, always bluffing each other and trying to look better than the other... and in the end they fell in love and got married. Go figure.
[3] This was just kinda hard to put into English. 'Norikoeru' means to ride over, climb over, surmount, etc... but those all sound weird when you're talking about obstacles in the way of a relationship, so I ended up picking a translation of my own that made more sense. It all came out pretty good.
[4] These 4 lines all added up to one big pain. Again, I could translate every word, but I couldn't put it into good English for the life of me. Mostly because of that stupid third line. English speakers just don't say stuff like that. *hisses at third line*
But, all in all, I like how this one came out. Now that I know what it means, it feels like these lyrics were written just for Toru and Kanako; they're so perfect it's almost scary. Which makes me like this song even more than before. x_x
Heh, this translation thing of mine may become a regular blog feature... dun dun dunnn~
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 8/12/2003 02:52:00 PM
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wMonday, August 04, 2003 |
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feeling: somewhat tired
listening to: Mitsunaga Ryota - Itsuka Kimi Ga
The weirdest thing just happened. I'm sitting here at the piece of crap (i.e. the computer), and this big fat miller moth flies along and lands on my right hand. And sits there. I kept on typing AIM messages, and it just keeps sitting there. Some minutes later, it decides to tuck itself under my hand, right in the crease of my palm near the outside. I keep on typing, and it just... sits there. Still more minutes later, just when I was convinced it had chosen my right hand for its dying ground, it finally flew away.
But the REALLY weird thing is... this isn't the first time. ><;; A few weeks ago there was this tiny little beige-white moth that kept landing on me. When it did fly around and land in other spots, it chose places where it could be easily overlooked and stepped on or otherwise smushed... so I would put my finger down in front of it, and it would crawl right onto my hand and sit there until I pointed it to a safer spot. But it still kept coming back.
I think Ryu was right... I must be the moth lady. :S *feeds on a bucket of moth balls*
itsuka kimi ga... furimuite... sei'ippai no egao o...
hee, this song is purty~ Wouldn't it be funny if I could be bothered to translate it like I did My Faith by Day After Tomorrow a few months back? Heh, actually, I tried translating Ryota's song Always, which I love, but I quit by the third line because the grammar and structures were just... obnoxious. Man, I'm still proud of my My Faith transltion, though. ^o^ Maybe I'll try Itsuka Kimi Ga, just for kicks... hmm...
Itsuka kimi ga furimuite
Sei-ippai no egao o
Miseru you ni naru to ii ne
Futo omotta kara
Machi ni wa kasa no hana ga
Tada ayazaka ni saite ite
Bishonure no mama kimi wa hitori
Nani o mitsumete ita n darou
Nani mo motanai boku to
Nanika o nakushita kimi
Itsu shika bokura wa katarihajimeteta
Ano hi totsuzen kieta kimi o
Atemonaku tada oikaketa
Monotarinai hidarigawa
"Kizukeba kimi ga suki deshita"
Machi wa zawameki hajime
Koibito-tachi o terashite
Kakitsuzutta tegami wa ima mo
Poketto no naka de nemutteru
Yuuhi no sora o
Hitori miageteru yo
Yoru ga shidai ni oou yousu mitsumete
Kimi ni todoku ano uta wa
Tooku kara kikoeta merodii
Kimi ni chikai kono basho de
Boku ga kanadeta mono ja nai
Ima sugu demo kimi no koto o
Dakishimetai to omou kedo
Toomawari mo ukeirete
Ima wa kimi o mimamoru kara
Itazura ni chikazuiteta
Kono kyori o ima koeta kara
Futari de kanaderu merodii
Takaraka ni hibikaseyou...
That was the easy part. :P Ok, let's see what I can do...
I hope someday you'll turn around
And show me your best smile,
I thought unexpectedly
On the street, so many flowers were [1]
Just blooming brilliantly
I wonder what you were looking at
Alone and soaking wet [2]
I, who had nothing,
And you, who had lost something
Without realizing it, we started talking
Aimlessly, I just chased after you
Who had suddenly disappeared that day
Unsatisfied, from the left side of the street [3]
"Even if I was hurt, I loved you"
The street started to get noisy
Shining on the lovers [4]
The letter you wrote is even now
Sleeping in my pocket
I'm looking up, alone,
At the evening sky
Gazing at the appearance of night that covers it all [5]
That song I send to you is
A melody heard from afar
In this place, close to you
It's not something I played myself [6]
Right now I think
I want to hold you close, but
I'll just accept the roundabout way
And just watch over you now
You were approaching me playfully
You crossed this distance now, so [7]
Let's resound loudly
The melody we'll play together...
Ok, footnote time! First, a general note: I had the same problems translating this as I did when I tried to translate Always... the lyrics make sense grammatically, and every word (well, except one) was easily translateable, but some lines and words just seem totally out of place in the song. Other parts just don't seem to make semantic sense. But hey, all that considered, I think this translation came out... well, decent. It tells the story. And a cute little story it is. Ok, so... footnotes.
[1] The word that tripped me up here was kasa. It really would've helped if I had the lyrics in kanji to go by, because kasa can be written and read in several different ways. Among the meanings I found were bulk/volume, ring/halo, bamboo hat/shade, and umbrella. I chose the first, because it seemed to make the most sense.
[2] Bishonure means wet to the skin, soaked, drenched, etc. This is one of those words that just doesn't seem to fit into the song at all. I would think it means the one referred to was either in the rain or crying, but nothing is mentioned about rain or tears anywhere else in the song.
[3] Another thing that just doesn't seem to fit. The first word in this 2-word line means unsatisfied or unsatisfactory, and the second means left side of the street. They don't seem to go together, and they just sound really out-of-place in the song.
[4] Same deal here, except the whole line doesn't seem to fit, not just one word. What is shining on the lovers? What lovers? Where did this even come from? ><
[5] A very obnoxious verse to translate. It was just... put together funny. What I ended up with is the best I could do, and it's probably not right. I know it doesn't sound right to me. I'll never know. *sigh*
[6] Here, 'played' is used in the sense of playing a musical instrument. So he's sending her a melody heard from afar, but he's not the one playing it. I dunno why it had to be 'playing' and not 'singing', anyway. Isn't singing more romantic?
[7] The first and second lines of this stanza gave me the same problem: I didn't know who it was talking about. It could be "I was approaching you playfully/I crossed this distance (between us) now, so..." or it could be what I ended up writing up there. That's another confusing aspect of Japanese - they don't use pronouns (you, I/me, he, she, it) like we do.
Yeah, that's about it. I may suck at it, but I kinda enjoy translating songs like this. I may very well give Always another shot soon; I found the lyrics in both romaji and kanji, so that might help a little. We'll see.
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dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 8/04/2003 03:47:00 AM
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