 |
|
wStuff You Don't Wanna Know But Are Reading Anyway |
|
|
 |
I dunno how you found this, but alas, here you are. So enjoy the frightening fruits of my troubled little brain.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wTuesday, December 30, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: I do not know
listening to: Nanase Aikawa - Bye Bye
I just remembered... not long after I started this blog I said that whenever I was "listening to" a song with a Japanese title, I'd include the title's translation, just to be cool or something. Yet it's probably been over a year since I've actually done that. Bad me. Not that this applies to this particular post anyway, but... I dunno, now that I've reminded myself, maybe I'll start doing that again. Remind me if I forget.
Seer
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
Ouch! Welcome to my Christmas. You didn't like all
(if any) of your presents. You feel isolated
and alone, and this year, the spirit of
Christmas didn't do much to lift your spirits.
How bad was your Christmas?
brought to you by Quizilla
The delete key! You are so depressed, you want to
delete from existence
Thank's for taking my quiz!
Which key on the keyboard are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
How many...
... siblings do you have?: 1, older brother
... pets do you have?: 5... 2 bettas, 2 cats, 1 dog
... friends do you have on your buddy list?: 58... about 3 of whom I talk to with any kind of regularness
... boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?: 0
... times have you been kissed?: I could count them on one hand if I so desired, but I don't
... times have you been dumped?: in the traditional sense of the word, 0
... times have you dumped a bf/gf?: 0
... sexual partners have you had?: 0
... people have you had sex with at one time?: 0
... would you have sex with at one time?: *thinks*... 1
... times have you had sex in a 24 hour time period?: 0
... nights have you gone without going to bed at all?: umm, 2 or 3... only 1 was really intentional
... subjects in school have you failed?: 0
... kids do you want?: 0
... times have you been on another continent than where you live now?: 0 -_-
... times have you tripped over your own feet?: more than I care to count
... car accidents have you been in?: maybe 3 or 4... ish. none serious.
... speeding tickets have you recieved?: 0... but then again, I drive maybe once every other month on average anymore
... times have you left your lights on in your car?: 0, I think
... sports trophies have you recieved?: 0 trophies, 1 or 2 letters, a few pins
... cigarettes have you smoked at one time?: 0
... beers have you consumed at one time?: 0
... dollars have you spent in one store?: not a clue... $200 at most, maybe
... many candles were on your last birthday cake (figuratively speaking)?: 21, and you would have gotten a 2 if not for the parenthetical amendment there heh
... tattoos do you have?: 0
... piercings do you have?: 2... 1 per ear... thrilling, no?
... pairs of shoes do you have?: that I actively wear, maybe 3... can't even count the rest
... times have you been to the beach?: 0
... times have you flone in a plane?: flone? spell check, for Bob's sake... anyway, just 1 round trip
... times have you gone fishing?: lots... those were the days
... times have you gone white water rafting?: 0
... times have you gone skiing?: 0
... times have you gone canoeing?: 2 or 3... the best one was when I dumped my dad getting out of the boat... I only wish I could've gotten a picture of him totally underwater except for one hand, which was holding the camera above the surface :P
... times have you gone ice-skating?: 0
... times have you been to a concert?: 2 "real" ones, 2 or 3 various concert-like things
... times have you gone skinny dipping?: 0
... times have you moved into a new house?: 1, when I was 6
Another shockingly informative post from yours truly.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 12/30/2003 08:18:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wFriday, December 26, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: my eyes hurt
listening to: nothing
Oh yeah... forgot to mention I saw a coyote on the way to grandma's on Eve night. That was probably the coolest part of the holidays this year. Apparently they're running around all over the place anymore, but I've never seen a wild one up till that night... that made me bounce a couple times heh
Good freaking morning, by the way. Why am I awake at 7 a.m.? I don't know either.
I spent a couple hours wafting in and out of half-sleep while watching Utena, then around 4:30 I finally gave up and got ready for bed, but I couldn't get to sleep because my stomach was going insane. On top of that, I was shaking like a bald chihuahua in a blizzard, which is usually an indication that I'm sick in one way or another. So I went downstairs to curl up on the couch in one of grandma's afghans - a comfort zone I've retreated to during times of sickness for as long as I can remember. Dozed for an hour or slightly more, then decided I felt better enough to try to sleep in my own bed again... but just as I was drifting off, around 6:30, I heard a car pull in the driveway. Anyone who's been reading this long enough to remember the two break-ins we had last year (one of which occurred while I was home alone) can probably guess that I was hit by a wave of paranoia, so I went downstairs, where dad was already up and puttering around even though he's off work today, because he's some kind of robot who can function at such ungodly hours... and he said it was Gakidaddy going deer hunting. So I dragged myself back to bed and spent another half hour trying to sleep, but between the growing daylight, my stomach still complaining, and God only knows what else, sleep would not come. When my eyes started aching from failed attempts at forcing them to stay shut, I said screw it and got up. And here we are. I can't even put my contacts in yet because they're supposed to disinfect for 4 hours and I just took them out 3 hours ago, so I'm sitting here in my stupid evil giant glasses that I haven't worn since, like, high school.
I'm gonna have a headache vile enough to knock over a yak here in a couple hours. What a spifferific day this is turning into.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 12/26/2003 07:29:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wThursday, December 25, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: burned out
listening to: Family Guy
So much for my favorite holiday. For the first time, I never did find Christmas this year. But it kinda helps knowing I'm not the only one... seems like there may not have even been half as many decorated/lit homes and buildings around my hometown this year as in past years, and a lot of the relatives we visited in the past week said they just never got around to Christmas either. What went wrong this year?
The only thing I really enjoyed this year was hanging with Dumplin' and her brother at my dad's family's party... but theoretically, being that we're cousins, we could do that any time of the year, not just on the holidays. Plus, as the evening went on, even they seemed kinda... quiet, pensive, down, something like that. I hope I didn't rub off on them. -_- I guess seeing my nephew on Eve and Eve Eve was good too... but even he was a total bear when we saw him today. We're talking the most cheerful, ornery, good-natured 2 year old I've ever seen, spending Christmas day grouching and crying and screaming and throwing things around in disgust and refusing to even look at his presents, let alone open them. If that's not depressing, I don't know what is.
My parents spoiled me again this year, as did most of the rest of my family... my total Christmas haul: about $220, one of those 3-in-1 pocket digicams, 100 CD-Rs, some sort of tiny jewelry/trinket box, a crucifix necklace (the only jewelry this year - fortunate, because I don't wear jewelry), Snoopy Christmas T-shirt, some white shirt with a random cartoony pink bug on it, watercolors, a calendar, a stuffed white tiger in the same pose and style as the giant one I got a few years ago but about half the size, a little chibi version of the same white tiger along with an orange tiger and a leopard in the same style (the pantheon! *hugs Dumplin'*), a delicate-looking Chinese wall decor thingy, a mug that says Hero *glare*, an issue of Newtype with a promo DVD, a plain dark blue sweater, jeans in a size that might actually fit following all this skinnification, a [omitted because we got one for Dumplin' too but it hasn't come in yet], a Broken Miho poster, three different Whitman's candy samples with little Snoopy figures, this year's Snoopy Hallmark ornaments, Snoopy collectible chess and monopoly sets, Utena manga vol. 4, Utena Black Rose DVD box set, the Escaflowne movie (finally), the Love Hina Christmas special, Xena season 1 on DVD (yay parents :P)... and I think that's it. Dumplin', I didn't forget anything from Eve night, did I? >.> Oh, and grandma also gave me a little bowl of homemade honey mustard cause she asked for my opinion on it and I gave her a hearty thumbs up... heh
I could've slept pretty much through the afternoon today, but grandpa, Gaki, and Gakidaddy ended up coming by unannounced at, like, 10 a.m., even though grandma had told us the previous night that they probably wouldn't do so and they'd call if they decided they would. So I had to drag myself out of bed into their midst, and naturally Gakidaddy rode all over me for sleeping through half their visit, obnoxious irritating creature that he is. I swear, just being within throwing distance of him and/or his daughter makes me want to chew on drywall for a few hours.
So did I get everything I wanted? Yes and no. I didn't really want anything this year... but mom was demanding a list for weeks, so finally I threw one together that consisted of stuff I wouldn't mind having, but nothing I need or would give my right arm for or anything. Just ideas. However, there were a couple things I kind of expected - slim jewel cases, because I ran out and dad suggested it to half my relatives, and a PS2, because dad was talking about how he saw some on eBay for $118ish and he has a semi-obsessive habit of getting stuff from eBay... but I didn't get either of those. Meh. Jewel cases are cheap and I won't have much free time over these next 2 quarters for gaming anyway.
Christmas is over. Wa-freakin-hey. Now TV goes back to its regular schedule and I can sleep at night unhindered again.
...well, anyway, now TV goes back to its regular schedule.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 12/25/2003 11:56:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wMonday, December 22, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: suspicious... no, heck... let's just say scared
listening to: 93.3... Christmas music
Cantata was disappointing. I had to sit in the back row this year for some stupid reason that I'm sure makes no sense... the sopranos have ALWAYS been in front, especially the little long-established 'trio' of me, Asai, and Asai2. They moved 3 of us back this year. I don't get it. Terri said they just wanted to have all the soloists in the front row and non-soloists in back with the men, but like... less than half the front row had solos. One important soloist stayed in the back row too, and the most treasured member of the choir whom we absolutely couldn't survive without *cough* didn't have a solo, yet she remained in front too. Someone else has never sat in front before, and didn't have a solo, but she was moved to the front. This year was royally screwy. And we only did 5 songs, only 2 of which do anything at all for me, and that's not saying much... and we didn't do Carol of the Bells a capella at the end like we usually do, which is usually my favorite part. I'm not even gonna go into why not... I had a big personal rant session last night about that and I don't feel like dragging it up again. But yeah. This year kinda sucked for me... that's a first. I'm really hoping next year will be back to relative normalcy... choir is one of the few reasons I ever go to church anymore (the 2 others being Linda and my parents), and if it continues to suck I might have to just give up. Hate that idea.
So now that the cantata's failed me, I still have no Christmas spirit. I like the idea that it's coming and I can't wait to hang with Dumplin' on Christmas Eve, but other than that... nothing. What is wrong with me? I still think that stupid Mariah song I mentioned a couple posts ago hits too close to home and is screwing me up this year. Erg.
It dawned on me recently that I really miss what I had about 5 years ago, and I can never have it back. We're still friendly, but it can never be the same again. We've just grown our separate ways. Why do people have to grow up? I'd be happy if I could've stayed 15 or so... which is kinda sad, cause that's about the age when most people go through all that adolescent angst/depression stuff. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that... happens to everyone. It just happened to me about 5 years late. I never asked to grow up...
Heh, Willard said he was gonna go to bitter person hell, and I to bitter person heaven... it'll take me a while to figure that one out :P Seriously though... I honestly haven't been bitter in several years. Life's too short to be bitter. I just sit around and quietly ache to death by myself instead.
On top of all that, it feels like my last chance is standing in front of me again... but I don't know what to do, what to say... and I have a feeling whatever I decide, I'll end up regretting, because I just can't win. It's a law.
Add all of that up, and the end result is a depressed me. Again. Making myself depressed is my greatest skill. Actually, no... that doesn't really take any skill these days... my greatest skill, I think, is refraining from doing anything to feel better. Haven't decided if that's thanks to willpower or just stupidity. Probably the latter.
...remember that last chance thing? I think it just slipped away again... man, life really sucks right now
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 12/22/2003 12:52:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wMonday, December 15, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: sore from coughing
listening to: David Coverdale w/Jimmy Page - Take Me For a Little While
I just noticed one of my 4 related searches was 'l33t'. And another was '1337'. LOL... those things amuse me way too much... once there was one about fertility drugs *shrug*
Haven't felt like updating lately... still don't, really, especially since the one person I know who reads this will likely be offline until after Christmas... but whatever. So here's where I've been in the last couple weeks, just in case you care.
Friday, Dec. 5 - last day of classes. Only one class, which was spent watching Spirited Away in Japanese without subtitles. Day started out ok, but as it got later something started to feel different. In what way, I had no idea... just... something was missing, or out of place, or changing, or something. Different. By late night (or early morning for those like me), I'd grown so paranoid that something life-shattering was about to happen, it somehow turned into a big self-pity fest and I spent the next few days depressed again. Made a post about it in my AIM subprofile if you wanna see it... heh. Didn't sleep more than a few hours that night.
Saturday, Dec. 6 - possibly the worst and longest day of my life, for no apparent reason. I didn't even really do anything all day, but I was in THE worst mood I've ever been in. The tiniest little things sent me into screaming/growling fits, and on a few occasions I had to get up and just randomly walk around the room kicking things. No idea where this mood came from, but I blame it for my failure to start my history essay final which was due the following Wednesday. I did do a couple hours of reading and research for the first half of it though. Might've gotten even less sleep that night than the night before.
Sunday, Dec. 7 - foul mood was mostly soothed, but still wasn't a great day. Spent it hiding from the world, mostly, continuing the depression bout kicked off two nights before. Did some more research and a lot of actual work on the first of two 4-page essays in my history final. Both of those questions were impossible... anyway, then came yet another night of insomnia-for-no-apparent-reason.
Monday, Dec. 8 - begin Finals Week. Got up early (11:30 - hey, during finals week, that's early) despite the fact that I was actually asleep when my alarm went off, and went to Cunz Hall to do my Japanese oral interview final. Got there 15 minutes early and, instead of other students from my class, found a bunch of second-year students waiting around outside the designated room. Freaked out, spent the next 20 minutes searching every floor in the building, finally stopping to ask some Korean (?) TA whose cubicle was next to that of Horn-sensei's if she had seen Horn-sensei recently. She hadn't, but someone else overheard and said he might be in the computer lab downstairs. He wasn't, but I found a guy from my class in there, and he said he'd had the same problem as me, and he'd found out that our interviews were actually tomorrow. When they were moved, I don't know. So I went home muttering, had lunch, and screwed around for a while until the parents came to pick me up for Nephy's birthday party. Which was pretty fun, because he is the cutest, smartest little 2-year-old mancub I've ever seen, and he adores me. First word out of his mouth when he saw my family approaching the house was "BECKY!", despite the fact that I was behind both my parents, barely in his sight range. Anyway, then went back to the dorm, finished the first essay of my history final, did some research for the second one, and endured another night of insomnia.
Tuesday, Dec. 9 - got up even earlier than the day before, took a shower, and went back to Cunz for my oral final. Could've gone worse, but could've gone a lot better. Got lunch, spent the rest of the day researching and typing the second history final essay. Took a break for about half an hour or so at one point just to lay on the bed for a while and release a pent-up tantrum about how impossible this paper was and how much this class sucked and how tired I was and various other things that had been eating away at me forever. By the time I got back to work, I had decided to pretty much ignore 1 or 2 of the 9 almost totally unrelated freaking questions that composed this essay question, focusing on answering it the way I wanted to for once, screw the professor. With 2 paragraphs to go, I realized my throat was starting to sting - the first sign of an impending cold/flu thing. By the time I had finished, cleaned up, and printed both essays, the fever had hit, compounding with the past few nights of 2-4 hours of sleep each, making it harder and harder to move. Went to bed hours earlier than I have in many months - before 1:30.
Wednesday, Dec. 10 - got up at 11:30, having slept for no more than 4 hours, again. Felt like crap and had no medicine that would've helped (except maybe Tylenol for the fever, but my brain was too dead to think of that at the time, I guess), but had no choice but to walk through the rain to hand in my history final, marking the end of Finals Week for me. Returned to the dorm, forced down a bowl of soup, did some packing, then felt so absolutely miserable I had to lie down for a couple hours, leaving half the packing undone and both fish tanks yet to be disassembled by the time my parents came to take me home. Got home, left the suitcase mostly packed, set up my computer, took something for the fever and laid down for a while, set up the fish tanks, and spent much of the rest of the night lying around feeling like crap. Yet again, didn't sleep but a few hours, despite the lack of finals stress.
Thursday, Dec. 11 - the height of cold/flu misery, and still had to spend half the day helping Mom babysit. My throat hurt like mad, but we had no cough syrup or throat drops of any kind, so all I could do was keep the fever down and whine about the rest. Stayed home while the parents took Nephy home, spent the rest of the evening in misery, until they came home (late) with Sucrets and Nyquil. I love Nyquil. That was probably the first night in weeks that I'd actually slept for nearly, if not a full 8 hours.
Friday, Dec. 12 - continued cold/flu misery, but fortunately, nothing major on the schedule. Stayed home while Mom and Dad went to a high school basketball game, during which time 2 things happened: 1) the big round 4-wick candle Mom had burning in the kitchen melted weird, resulting in a huge puddle of melted (later solid, of course) wax surrounding said candle, staining the counter and nearly taking with it some nearby papers. 2) Later found Misty, our nearly-14-year-old feline, under the Christmas tree, which gives Mom fits because Misty has used that spot as a toilet in past years. When I went to chase her out, I found her batting around a newly dead mouse. Tried to shoo her away from the tree before she started eating it on Mom's precious carpet, but at that point she chose to clamp her jaws around her kill and give me her best death look, growling and snarling and hissing and refusing to either drop the mouse or move from her spot. I had to shove her out with a broken branch from the tree (yes, we like the live ones), which led to a prolonged chase in which Misty found every possible hiding spot to lodge herself in, reacting like a cornered tiger, refusing to come out into the open unless I shoved her out with a wood plank. Finally got her outside with her mouse... and discovered that at some point during the chase, the Snoopy lounge pants I was wearing - the coolest pants ev4r - had somehow ripped soundly down one leg. Fuming at the loss and suddenly remembering how sick I was, not to mention writhing through the onset of the worst cramps I've had in years, I spent the rest of the evening miserable, until Nyquil time.
Saturday, Dec. 13 - starting to feel slightly better, but that's not saying much. Didn't really do anything but sit around reading and coughing. Talked to Dumplin' on the phone and found out that she'd been offline for the past week or so because their 56k service had crapped out, and would likely not be in swing again until after Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year. *sigh*
Sunday, Dec. 14 - gradually feeling better... cold/flu is reduced to a really annoying cough and a whole lot of sneezing and nose-blowing, which led to a nose so raw I can actually feel the flesh cracking and falling apart. Woke up to about 3 inches of snow on the ground, which kicked butt. Went to church, during which, at one point, the pastor's wife started this big huddle of mostly elderly people all around me, most of whom I couldn't ID by name, going on about how much weight I've lost. ><; Spent the whole day after that feeling delightfully wintery - some may have seen my AIM away message about lounging around, listening to the snow fall, warm in a bulky beige turtleneck sweater, smelling like toasted hazelnut lotion, and sipping on hot chocolate while curled up with some good reading. That is what winter's all about, man. Heh, I started to draw that image in Photoshop, but my computer crapped out just when it was starting to look how I wanted it to and I lost it, so I gave up. Anyway... went to choir practice too, the last regular practice before the big rehearsal the day before the program. None of the songs in the cantata this year are ones I really like much... and it was the only part of Christmas I was looking forward to, too... *sigh* Stayed up till 4:30 having a nostalgia night, going through some of my old Xena: Warrior Princess fandom stuff... heh, I loved that show in high school... and it's not even on anymore *sigh*
Monday, Dec. 15 - got up after about 6 hours of sleep to find Nephy here again. The coughing and evil sinuses continue to be on the mend, so I entertained him most of the day, until his daddy came for him... then did some work on the fish tanks, then fumed at my piece of crap computer for a while after having to restart it about a dozen times before it stayed running long enough to type this blog. And... here we are.
Tomorrow I have to get up at, like, 8 in the morning to go get my hair cut. I need it bad though. It put on about 3 inches since I moved back to the dorm. Might go shopping in Columbus with my parents too, since I'll be up early anyway, but don't know yet... we need to do that this week sometime, but other stuff's going on pretty much every day. Church Christmas dinner Wednesday night, possibly accompanied by another day with Nephy... my mom's family's Christmas party on some other day... cantata rehearsal Saturday afternoon followed by the program on Sunday...
Oh, and being home for winter break has also spurred the return of being awakened every single morning by Ginger, who has always had this habit of jumping on my bed and curling up on/against me, usually gradually shoving me over further and further until I'm forced to get out of bed. Darn cat.
Well, this is long enough. If anyone read through this, hope you enjoyed the account of just how jam-packed my life can be. End sarcasm. By the way, this is about how the schedule looks when I'm NOT sick, too. ¬_¬
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 12/15/2003 09:45:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wMonday, December 01, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: tired... and fighting to stay awake makes me tireder...
listening to: nothing
Christmas is coming. So why am I not happy? Usually I'm in full throttle CHRISTMAS IS COMING WHOOP WHOOP YAYEEE mode starting around mid-November, but this year... nothing. It's like I lost something since last year, something without which Christmas just isn't Christmas. The only thing I can make myself look forward to this year is being in the Christmas cantata with the church choir. I dunno, I've always liked singing Christmas songs, and the cantata lets me do that in a group so no one can actually hear my voice individually... but this year I haven't been able to go to weekly practices, and I'll only get to go to one or two of them before the program. Which is fine because I still have most of the music memorized anyway, but that just means my favorite part of this Christmas will also be the part that goes by the fastest and it'll be back to "oh look, it's Christmas, how nice, wake me when it's over, or don't" as soon as the program's over. Maybe I'll go caroling this year to make up for missing so much practice... it's been ages since I did that...
Speaking of things going too fast... another week and a half and this quarter is over. Then a few more weeks and this year is over. I swear this has been the longest and the fastest year of my life. Like, I can be sitting here thinking, urg, the clock isn't moving, this moment/hour/day is never gonna end, someone take my life right now... then, next thing I know, it's 4 days later. I guess when nothing ever changes, it does feel like you're reliving the same moment in time over and over again. One very agonizingly long moment. Over and over.
Sorry, was I getting repetitive there? It's hard to tell sometimes. Same moment over and over, and all.
Anyway... yeah, as I said, I like Christmas songs. I've got a massive arsenal of them rattling around in the depths of my memory because I've listened to them as a genre obsessively for so many years. But among all those songs, so far this year only one has gotten itself stuck in my head and will not go away. Guess which one? Hint: Mariah Carey. Hint #2: first word in the title is "all". Still don't get it? Try googling those 3 keywords. Click the first result. Seriously. Cause I refuse to type the title. >_>
Hey, maybe that's why I have no Christmas spirit this year. That would also explain why when my relatives keep asking me what they should get me I can never give them an answer.
Stupid Mariah Carey.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 12/01/2003 03:42:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wWednesday, November 26, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: the dryness of my hands
listening to: Dad running the blender
Ok. A few years ago, some city in Kentucky did this thing where they put up these really cool full-sized horse sculptures all over the city in honor of Kentucky's history in horse racing (the Derby and all). Each statue was either made of a different material or painted with a different design, some relatively normal looking, some totally bizarre, some really cool mosaics and murals, some that were like everyday paintings - landscapes, starry skies, people, etc - on a horse-shaped canvas. Well, now the city of Columbus, Ohio has undertaken a very similar project... except instead of horses, we get sculptures of... corn. Yes, corn. What's next, a collection of potato sculptures in Boise?
I shouldn't have said that, it's too likely to happen...
Anyway... in the spirit of the holiday, here's a list of things I am thankful for.
~My parents and their boundless patience... even though it wasn't so boundless at all before I left for college
~A place to come home to
~Dumplin', my own personal angel
~My cat, Ginger, who is napping in my lap right now reminding me that there are still simple pleasures to enjoy in life
~My other cat, Misty, who hates everyone except me and would follow me to the ends of the universe if she felt like it
~My bettas, Phoenix and Sekiray, for giving me something amusing to watch when I just need a break
~Linda, my Sunday school teacher, who makes church worth going to
~Vanessa, my RA, who made that stupid night in the emergency room bearable
~Willard, the one person from my past who never gave up on me (though he probably should have :p)
~The 'print' button being right there ready to go when I finally finish major essays and term papers
~My nephew, doubtless the only human on earth who adores me
~Whose Line is it Anyway - the one stress-free hour I can count on every day
~Kimura Takuya and Matsu Takako, especially when they're both on screen at once
~All my J-music - something to fit every mood I could ever be in
~Having lost enough weight to almost feel good about myself physically
~The opportunity to go to college and have a chance at making more than minimum wage someday
~The fact that I can major in Japanese and succeed in it even though I had zero experience with it before I started college
~Knowing enough about the Japanese language to whine and mope in it while no one has a clue what I'm saying so they can't bug me with their pity
~Summer 2003, the best summer of my life, as well as those who made that summer what it was
~Pinky Peach Mints. Nothing more need be said.
Happy Thanksgiving, all you fat American pigs.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/26/2003 06:32:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wWednesday, November 19, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: extreme dread
listening to: nothing
So this afternoon while I was getting some easy homework out of the way the realization dawned on me that I am royally, royally screwed. I have this 9-12 page term paper due Tuesday, Nov. 25, right? I've known it was coming since the beginning of the quarter, right? I've started it, right?
Well, if you call half an intro paragraph "started", then the answer to all of the above is yes.
For the past three nights I was actually in the mindset to sit down and get working on that thing. Do some reading and research, roam through the library for more sources, get the intro and basic background info stuff typed up and out of the way, etc. THREE nights I set out with this in mind.
I just could not do it. I sat on my bed poring through those stupid books, trying to get some framework going, then sat here and stared at the computer screen for hours, and all I ended up typing was line after line of gibberish with a few usable sentences thrown in here and there, and an extremely vague outline that covers maybe 2/3 of the paper's length.
Then last night (or this morning) at 3 a.m., after typing a couple more hours' worth of gibberish, I said meh, I have some good books, I'll have time in the next few days to do the research and write the actual paper over my empty weekend, I'll be fine. Then for some reason as I was doing my Jap lit reading this afternoon something in my brain woke up, started flailing around and kicking and screaming, and sputtered "ARE YOU OFF YOUR NUT?! You have 3 books to research, 2 of which are bigger than half of your textbooks, and despite the fact that it may well take you 3 full evenings to read them, they'll only give you about half a term paper! You're gonna need more material, and you seem to forget that the library isn't open 24/7, and that you humans DO need some sleep every day! And here you are, less than a week from the due date, with TWO decent sentences written?! That's it, I'm gone!" Then it ran out.
Yes, I have a little non-human creature in my brain that spends all its time sleeping until I really need it, at which point it gets fed up and refuses to help because I procrastinated too long, despite the fact that had it been awake and gotten its lazy butt in gear, I would've been motivated enough to not put it off so long. I call it Yukiko.
Oh, and did I mention I spent most of last Thursday night in the emergency room with severe abdominal pain, paleness so intense they pumped two IVs in me, and more tests done than I've ever been through in any routine physical? Yeah, in the end they decided I have an ulcer. Ulcers are primarily caused by stress. I have a barely-touched term paper worth like 40% of my grade due in less than a week. Stress? What stress?
I knew from the start this class would kill me one way or another.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/19/2003 07:41:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wMonday, November 10, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: increasingly tired
listening to: nothing
Well, I had to type it somewhere. Prepare for my review of Whose Line is it Anyway as performed live at the Mershon Auditorium, a 5 minute walk from my dorm, free to students and first come first serve. :D
So I left around 5:30, stopped at a Wendy's on the way for a burger dinner, and got to the Mershon just a bit before 6:00 (2 hours early). The doors hadn't yet opened, and there were maybe 30 or 40 people waiting in a line - or more like a clump - outside the door. As it turned out, the doors didn't open until 7:00, so I had to stand outside for an hour while the line got more and more insane. Finally the doors opened and the pushing and shoving and fighting for position began. I ended up getting a seat in the fourth row. Fourth row! I was close enough to see the cute little wrinkles Colin gets in the corners of his eyes when he smiles~ ^___^ Of course, I was riiiiiiight on the end of the row, 5 feet from a security guy, and had I been paying attention I could've moved up to the end of the first row, but I didn't notice it fast enough. Can't complain about the fourth row though, I guess.
Another hour went by before Colin Mochrie (the first thing I noticed: his hair was WHITE :P), Greg Proops, and Brad Sherwood were introduced and did their little intro, where they figured out how the OSU tradition of shouting O-H! and having everyone else respond by shouting I-O! works, and such. Colin walked down the center aisle of the front section (first four rows on the floor) passing sheets of paper down each row for people to write suggestions for a later game... I was wishing like mad at that point that I'd been able to fight my way to the center of that row instead of settling for the far end. *sigh*
It was odd... for some reason they changed the names of almost all the games they played. Like, the first game was Moving People, but they called it Moving Bodies. I dunno. They had a couple female volunteers moving Colin and Brad around in accordance with the suggestion for an imaginary holiday: Beer Day. Welcome to Ohio State. Yeah, it was pretty good... hehe, the one girl had Colin collapse onto one knee to give Brad a gift, and poor Colin was straining every muscle in his body, facial ones included *giggle*, to keep from falling over without making any big visual actions that would ruin the point of the game. Of course, this was still college, so there was much grabbing of Brad's butt by Colin's student-controlled hand and vice versa. Pretty fun, but that was actually the shortest game of the night.
Then they did Styles, which on the show is called Film, TV, and Theater styles. It was conducted a little differently... Colin and Greg acted out the scene, set in Ann Arbor (home of Michigan U, Ohio State's biggest football rivals, for the clueless) as per someone's suggestion, starting out normally at first, while Brad had then stop every few minutes and at that point asked for suggestions on film and theater styles. The first style shouted out, of course, was porno. *shakes head* But Brad bypassed that one and had them do action first, involving Greg driving an imaginary motorcycle with Colin as his passenger, and of course that involved them flying over an ice ramp (ice because it's Ann Arbor :P) and landing in perfect sync. These guys have amazing chemistry when they perform... when two motorcycle riders drive, turn, ramp, fly through the air, and land, you almost forget there's not actually a bike under them. Anyway... then they broke out guns and started shooting stuff ("Whaddya think we do for fun here in Ann Arbor?! ~Greg), then Brad froze them and asked for more suggestions, and picked romance next... of course the obligatory "I wonder if he noticed that I was excited when he was riding on the motorcycle with me" came up, then Colin gave Greg flowers, which Greg decided was a cactus. Colin: "Yeah. Ow. *rubs butt where apparently he'd been sitting on the cactus during the ride*" ^^ Then was the best part... Brad had them do Western, meaning I got to see Greg do John Wayne!! :D As well as another example of these guys' onstage chemistry - Greg threw the imaginary cactus at Colin, who caught it in midair with perfect timing. Even Greg was surprised. So... then they of course did Porno, in which of course Greg dropped something and bent over to get it... then they did musical theater, in which they got to dance around like idiots, which no one does better than Colin >u< Just another of many classic Whose Line staples that I got to see tonight... I'm so fortunate~ Sooo then they did Kabuki, which was also pretty funny... and finally they did Porno Kabuki, which was hysterical. Another classic Greg bit that I'm so proud I got to see performed live: shouting "Godzilla!" in a wussy Japanese-accented voice. ^o^
Then they did Questions Only, which ran MUCH longer than the game usually does, because they made it an actual contest where something was at stake. They had 3 (female) volunteers come up and sit on stools while Brad, Greg, and Colin performed. Each of the guys represented one of the volunteers, and each one chipped in $20... the winner of the game got to keep his $20 and give the remaining $40 to the volunteer he was playing for. And since there were 3 of them, they all just went back and forth at first, and the first person to be "buzzed out" (by the audience) three times was the first loser, then the two remaining guys would battle it out until someone won. The setting: a Chinese restaurant. Some great moments included: "Can't you see the sign?" in response to EVERYthing, Brad's dorky Chinese accent ("Where are you from exactly?" "Wuld yoo beleeve Cleeveland?" ~Colin and Brad), obligatory homoerotic innuendo, the eating of a poodle, and another classic Whose Line staple that I'm so glad I got to see live: Colin using "Pardon?" as one of his questions. I love that man. >u< Also, somewhere in the middle of the game, Brad and Colin started using song titles that happened to be questions, such as "What's Love Got to Do With It?" a few I don't remember, and yet another staple, by Colin: "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" :D And when they ran out of song title questions, Colin ended that little aside by asking "Why can't we get a radio?" hee... Anyway, Greg was the first to lose, so he went over and half-sat, half-leaned on the lap of the lucky chick he'd been representing while watching the rest of the game. *envyenvy* Then the game went on... and on... and on... and at one point Brad made some really bizarre question that kinda threw Colin off, and Brad added "Can you believe what I'll do to save 20 bucks?" at which point Greg leaned really close to his charge's ear and whispered something about Brad being a cheapskate (I assume) that his mic didn't pick up. That almost made me wish I'd had the guts to volunteer to be pulled onstage. >:P Anywho... Brad finally won, darnit. Colin is the best at that game, but I think he finally just ran out of comebacks. I quote: "Ah, screw it." Another Colin staple. x)
Next game is known on the TV show as Quick Change, but they changed the title to New Choice for some reason. Brad and Greg acted out a scene revolving around the suggested situation of a riot while Colin stood off to the side shouting "New choice" now and then, at which point whoever just spoke had to redo the last line they'd said into something totally different. This one was fun... by the end, Greg was Brad's physics teacher and they were both ready to emerge from their home and charge into the rioting mob on their hands and knees wearing full reindeer suits, but then Greg learned that Brad was actually a hologram. I LOVE this show. X) Yet another example of that great chemistry: Brad said that if Greg turned out the light he'd disappear, so Greg flipped an imaginary lightswitch and Brad went to hide behind a curtain. Then a minute later Greg flipped the imaginary switch again, and just made the tiniest little lightswitch-flipping sound effect, and that was the only cue Brad needed to know when to emerge.
Then they did some Jeopardy thing where Greg was the host and the other two were contestants in this Jeopardy-ish thing where 1) the contestant in control made up a category, 2) the audience suggested something that fit into that category, and 3) the contestants had to come up with a question to match the suggestion. Example: for the category Latin American Countries, they used the suggestion of Bolivia, and Brad's question was "Who is the singer Newton-John". Heh, it was funny... one of the categories that came up was Exotic Foods, and the suggestion they used for that one was ice cream. For the rest of the night they made cracks about Ohio's taste in exotic food. :P Oh, and Brad and Colin's questions in response to the ice cream thing were, respectively, "what you get when you tip a cow in winter" and "what happens when you excite ice." *snicker*
I can't remember what name they gave the next game, but it was a twist on Whose Line, a game that comes up often on the show. Instead of keeping 2 suggestions each in their pockets, Colin and Greg drew them at appropriate moments from this giant bowl that contained the suggestions of most everyone in the first section (the front 4 rows, which included me) and a few from the main section. The scene was a haunted house, and I'd say at least 15 suggestions were used, but mine wasn't among them. ;_; Mine would've been perfect too... toward the end they drew one that said something about shaving their eyebrows, so they went back and forth yelling at each other about what good shaving their eyebrows would do and stuff... and my suggestion was "Would you mind if I licked your eyebrow?" Which I might add was a heck of a lot funnier than some of the ones that did get drawn. >.> I can imagine them using both of those eyebrow ones and then remarking after the game "What is it with you Ohio people and eyebrows?" And they never would've known that mine, at least, was inspired by some weird quote that kinda became the "motto" on this dorm floor during my freshman year: "It's a wonderful night for eyebrows." Ah well...
Interrogation was probably the best game of the night. Too bad they don't seem to play it on the show anymore... I think I only saw it once, and that was in the British version. Anyway, the point of the game was that Colin committed a crime, but he didn't know what it was, and he had to guess what it was along with some other details - location, items used, etc. - based on hints given my Greg and Brad, who were interrogating him. First they made Colin leave the auditorium, and they had him take an audience member with him to make sure he actually left... that lucky, lucky, lucky female who happened to be sitting right on the center aisle... *seethe* Anywho... they then made it a point to take suggestions for locations that were local places that Colin had never heard of. Eventually it was decided that Colin's crime was 1) shaving his bikini line, at 2) Mirror Lake (campus location), 3) Cockins Hall (campus location), and an 4) oriental massage parlor, using a 5) Vlasic dill pickle and a 6) penguin. Naturally, it took him forEVER to guess all this, but it was extremely hilarious watching him try. He guessed the shaving part first based on many clues, one of which was "the bald truth." It's just not Whose Line without a bald joke at Colin's expense. :D Then he got Mirror Lake using clues having to do with reflection and skinnydipping, then Cockins Hall based on... well, this is college, so you can probably guess -_-;... then somehow they had barely hinted that he'd done it in a third location, but right off the bat he guessed massage parlor. Didn't take much more for him to get the oriental part, but he had to go through Chinese and Asian first, and when they kept grilling him for "oriental" he did this hysterical full-body twitching thing that just screamed "whyyyyy did I ever agree to play this game..." *giggle* Then came the pickle... he had never heard of the Vlasic brand before, which led to another Whose Line staple: "You're Canadian, aren't you?" "Yes, I am!" ^_^ He finally got it by putting the Russian name Vlad, without the d, together with the reason he'd taken out health insurance - to avoid getting sick. Vla-sick. Yeah. Then for the penguin one, he knew from the start that it was a living thing, and they hinted at the Penguin from Batman (called him a real Joker or something), then they said they wanted him to give his FULL confession, detail for detail, in one utterance. So eventually he says "I shaved my bikini line in Cockins Hall, Mirror Lake, and an oriental massage parlor with a Vlasic dill pickle and... a... bat!" Then he tried to plead drunkenness and run away XD... but it didn't work, and they gave him a couple more hints, made him say it from start to finish again, and finally he got it right. Then they took their final bows, and that was pretty much it.
Some general things I noticed throughout the night:
~Colin's hair was WHITE. Did I already mention that? :3 No, heh... it's always been fun observing how his hair color grows lighter and lighter with every new season of Whose Line... but now it's just WHITE. I love Colin. ^o^
~There were several college-related jokes, of course - including the standard teacher/student relations, failing physics, and much making fun of Michigan - but there were far more Ohio jokes than college ones. Especially after that one kid suggested ice cream as an exotic food. They never did let that one die. And with good reason. :p There was also the Ohio River one... Ohio River was a suggestion in the Jeopardy game (Colin's question for it was "What is the Irish name for the Hio River" ^^), and Greg said "We also would have accepted "What dumps all the flammable material into Lake Erie." Eheh.
~It would've been PERFECT if Ryan had been there. It was a blast as it was, yes, but Whose Line just isn't the same without everyone's favorite tall big-nosed freak. Colin looked so alone up there... ;_; But, at least we got Greg and Colin. Brad wasn't bad - better than he usually is in the show, in my opinion - but Greg's my all-time favorite next to Ryan and Colin, so at least it was great to see him. When I say all-time, I'm referring to ALL seasons of Whose Line, going back to the days of Paul Merton, Steve Steen, and all those other guys from the British version that no one remembers anymore. A lot of people probably don't know that this show was around for 10 years before Drew Carey started his own version, and that was, what, 6 or 7 years ago now? Anyway... that's why Ryan, Colin, and Greg are my all-time favorites... they're the only ones still on the show who were there since the early-to-middle years of the British version.
~Best exchange of the night, during the Interrogation game:
"Stop beating around the bush!"
"I told you, I shaved my bikini line!"
~Greg and Colin
*stifle*
Yeah... it still doesn't really feel real, you know? They way they performed was pretty much exactly as they do on TV, except with less censoring and more college/Ohio jokes. It almost feels like I was watching a Whose Line movie or a special anniversary filming or something. But I'm sure it'll dawn on me by late tomorrow that I got to see Colin Mochrie, Greg Proops, and Brad Sherwood perform LIVE. And that I'll never see a rerun of it. ><;;
But man, it'd be much easier to revel in the Whose Line glory if I'd been able to take some pictures. >_< No flash photography was allowed, and they were actually confiscating flash cameras, and there was a security guy sitting literally right next to me the whole evening. I never would've gotten away with it. *le tremendous sigh*
But, at least I have this blog to remember it by. And using such, even though I won't have pictures to look at, I can remember that Colin was wearing a maroon shirt that was either silk or faded with dark/faded black pants, Brad was wearing a red and gray plaid shirt with regular blue jeans, and Greg was wearing - prepare to squee! - a Hawaiian print shirt. Royal blue with white flowers to be exact. That's my Proop Doggy Dogg. x)
Lord, I love Whose Line. I never dreamed I'd be able to see it live. Maybe that's why it still doesn't seem real...
*returns to bouncing up and down squeeing about how fun tonight was*
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/10/2003 12:55:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wFriday, November 07, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: full of thoughts and Caprisun
listening to: Matsu Takako - Gomen Ne
You Are... The Moovet Rotating Plastic Sheet System
- Get out there and experience life already!
Stop putting up barriers between you and your
goals and face life head on! Your cautiousness
will occasionally serve you well, but thats no
way to live life; its time to take off the
rubber gloves and get dirty.
What Japanese Toilet Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
How cool is that??
Ok, this is to clear up a little confusion created in at least one reader of my last post. Yes, Matsu Takako IS female. *XP at Dumplin'*
And I compiled some pics to prove it. Or maybe I should say an album. :P Enjoy...
Matsu-chan has cool lips~
Looking all demure and such
Casualness suits her, dunnit?
About to deck someone, it seems
Every celebrity is filmed in this pose at some point
"Bet no one'll notice if I yoink one of these..."
Gotta love those natural shots
The eeeeeyes... resistance is futile...
Only she can make this face ^^
Looking... young...
See? you can't hide from those eyes!
Made my current wallpaper from this one ^^
Made a wallpaper of this one too
A wallpaper I didn't make *smooch*
Another Matsu-chan Expressions Exclusive: the Smirk!
Post-haircut... but seriously, no one else can do this smirk! x)
The pouty face is Matsu-only too...
...and the ditzy one...
...and the "f34r me, I'm cut3" one
Don't you just wanna squidge her? ...quit staring at me :P
There's something really cute about oversized sagging bracelets
I just wanna yank that red cord :D
Black and white and all classy...
...but casual still suits her
What IS it that's so cute about that face?
I think Matsu-chan needs a hug *hugs*
There's that smirk again~
*kicks the blurriness, f34rs t3h cut3ne55*
Cover of her album A Piece of Life
Screen from one of her many dramas, probably
This is just classic Matsu <3
A Love Generation screen/promo shot... I adore that show
I want to draw this pose
This has to be the ultimate in "sweet"
By frame 4 she's saying "I'm gonna bite that stupid pen"
Top left one looks eerily like Kashiwagi-sensei O_o
Cute little distant smile
Black! Hoodie! Zippers! I squee~
Convinced yet that she's adorable?
...And shiny?
How about now? :P
That's what I thought~ *walks off satisfied*
Heheh, I wonder how many times I have to type Matsu Takako in this post for her name to show up in the Related Searches banner up there... I'm getting sick of looking at the stomach flu ones. -_-
...Matsu Takako! >:P
(edit: apparently I didn't type Matsu Takako enough... still getting the same stupid related searches >< heh, those things amuse me way too much...)
(edit #2, laaaate Saturday night: if you already looked through these once, do it again and see if you can pick out the ones I just now added. Mahaha.)
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/07/2003 01:54:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wThursday, November 06, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: on the edge of crumbling... no, physically
listening to: Matsu Takako - Stay With Me
You're Amemiya from the Japanese drama 'Hero'
(Matsu Takako) - You're a bit reserved. True to
your work, and honest to the people you know.
Which Japanese Somebody Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Baha! Matsu-chan, marry me!
Gackt! Deep and elegant. Let the wise rein again!
Which Japanese Star are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Did you know that Kimura Takuya was voted sexiest man in Japan? NOT Gackt? What's even scarier is I'm fine with this... *continues gazing at KimuTaku wallpaper*
Speaking of Takuyas, there's a native Japanese guy named Takuya in my classical Japanese lit class... he's the first real live bish I've ever seen. I drew him. :P
Aww, look, I made a cute dorky random pointless post that consists of me squeeing over Matsu Takako and drooling over h4wt J-bois (note: I refuse to describe any male as 'hot'... 'h4wt', however, is another story). I'm just forcing myself to stay awake, really. And trying to find stuff to post that will distract people who saw my AIM away message from wondering what exactly makes me a selfish brat. That's not for here. Actually, it probably is, but I don't feel like going into it.
...wait, that sorta defeated the purpose of distracting from the selfish thing, didn't it?
Anyway... it's also 1:30 a.m. and I haven't started my homework yet. I don't want to. I need a hug. A hug from KimuTaku. -_-
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/06/2003 01:36:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wSunday, November 02, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: tired of pretty much everything
listening to: Matsu Takako - Koishii Hito
I am officially obsessed with Matsu Takako. Just thought all my acquaintances should know that.
Ok... I started eating again a few weeks ago, so why exactly am I still losing weight? Every pair of jeans I own are so large now as to hang off of me. Including the 4-or-5-year-old pairs that 6 months ago were so tight I couldn't wear them and breathe at the same time, AND including all the brand new ones I bought 2 months ago, which fit when I bought them. I've never lost weight in my life, except in junior high when for several months I had stomach trouble and most of the time felt so crappy I'd only eat about one meal a day, and even that was no bigger than a mug of tomato soup or something. I lost just under 20 pounds then, and apparently that was enough to worry people that I was starving myself and on the road to anorexia. But over the next few years those pounds came back with a vengeance, and even when I busted my butt working out and dieting for 2 years when I ran track, I still kept gaining. Then I went to college and gained close to 20 pounds by the start of my second year. Now all of a sudden I'm turning into a stick again. Granted, I had that stomach flu in spring that killed my appetite for at least a month, followed by/along with the most stressful quarter of my life as of then, followed by a summer where I was just too much a slug to eat as much as I used to, followed by heartbreak and the appetite-free month it brought with it. But still, for crying out loud. Compared to a year ago, I'm a twig. And apparently still shriveling.
My stomach's been acting up again too. Err, not really again, since it never actually stopped, but... well, bad again. Hmm... correlation? Meh, who cares. I should just be glad I'm finally losing that Freshman Fifteen Plus Five, right?
Sorry if I sound like I'm bragging about having lost weight. On the contrary, the means by which it seems to have happened are not means that I'd really recommend. Sickness, stomachaches, slugdom, and solitude are NOT alternatives to dieting and exercise, kids. Don't follow my example.
In fact, don't follow my example in anything else either. I'm a bad example in everything. Just forget I'm here, kay? It won't take much effort, I promise.
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 11/02/2003 11:43:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wSunday, October 26, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: stomach hurts again
listening to: X Japan - The Last Song
Depressed anew. Doesn't seem to take much these days. Maybe it's the 3-essay history midterm that I haven't started yet that's looming over my head. Putting all my effort into putting it off, especially on a weekend, only leads to hours upon hours of boredom and blankness, which leaves me with plenty of time to think, whether I want to or not. Not to mention lots of dead time that, a couple months ago, I would've been spending talking with a best friend who 1) cheered me up no matter what, 2) somehow motivated me to do better, and 3) is no longer there. It's hard walking through dead space when you know exactly what's supposed to be filling it and that it's out of your reach for reasons beyond your control.
I really was doing better this week. The first 3 episodes of Love Generation and the 3 Matsu Takako songs I managed to download really were aiding my recovery. But then for some reason The Last Song popped into my head and I had to listen to it, and it's impossible not to get depressed listening to that song.
Plus, last night I had a dream that I had to have a double surgical procedure somewhere in my abdominal region, which I think hit a little too close to home. My stomach hurt when I recorded it in my newly birthed dream log, and a few hours later those same stupid 4-year-old symptoms started to show up again. I would say I should see a doctor, but I kind of did... years ago... and two normal exams, two runs of medications, half a dozen blood tests, and an upper GI test did nothing to uncover or solve the problem.
But I'm tangenting.
Anyway, so between the essay midterm looming over my head, hours upon hours of boredom resulting from trying to put it off, The Last Song, and my stupid health taking a nose dive, I had lots of time to think tonight. Somehow I realized that he left with the impression stuck in his head that I regretted ever getting close to him. I know that's the exact opposite of the truth - if I hadn't gotten attached I still wouldn't know what happiness is, plus I'd have missed out on a spunkload of great memories - but he doesn't know. I tried to tell him but he ran off again before I had a chance to finish typing. I don't want him living with the impression that I regret ever having been his friend, but I can't tell him the truth for reasons beyond my control. All that stands between us is that AIM window, but it might as well be a fortified wall as wide as the universe with a foundation as deep as the Ninth Circle (hey look, that's almost a metaphor). If I could tell him the truth, or just somehow make sure he knows it and isn't stuck believing the wrong thing, I think that would help... but not like there's anything I can do about it.
Besides that, I also realized tonight for the first time in... well, a while... how much I miss that mood puppy. If I could get in a time machine and go back exactly 2 months, we'd still be up talking and having a blast right now, and that stupid midterm would be the furthest thing from my mind. But even after this long I just can't get myself into the 'we won't be talking like that ever again' mindset. I tried, but something beyond the power of my own will refuses to let me. If I were one of those cheesy dorky daydreamy types, I'd say something like "fate has destined our reunion so there's no use giving up", but I'm trying my darndest not to be that cheesy dorky daydreamy type. But fudge it all, it's a lot easier leaning toward that than it is to believe the 'we won't be talking like that ever again' one. Someone out there knows something I don't, and it's gonna kill me trying to figure it out.
...There's one verse in The Last Song that I can not work out a decent translation for, and go figure, it's the one stuck in my head... kizutsuku dake kizutsuite wakatta hazu no kotae o doushite mada dou ikaketeru... but meh. The best line is still 'cause forever fades anyway. Back to listening to that song now. Need to cry, and nothing speeds up the process more than a good melancholy 10+ minute J-rock song.
While I do that...
x. father thinks I: could rule the world if I put my mind to it
x. mother thinks I: put things off way too much
x. my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks I: ...don't exist?
x. it makes me happy that: Love Generation 4-6 is finally being seeded again
x. it upsets me that: I can't make my friends see that I'd do anything for any of them
yes or no...
x. you keep a diary: no, but there is this blog
x. you like to cook: only in the microwave
x. you have a love: everyone loves something
x. you set your watch a few minutes ahead: no
x. you bite your fingernails: no, I managed to kill that habit about half a year ago
x. you believe in love: a really witty, sarcastic answer escapes me at the moment, so I'll just be straight and say yes
2. Do You...?
take a shower everyday: I skip a day frequently, because it takes me an hour to shower and I can't really afford to lose another hour every single day
have a(any) crush(es): no
think/know you've been in love: sure
want to get married: no
have any tattoos/where?: no
piercings/where?: ears, but I haven't worn earrings since senior prom
get motion sickness: no, but I get headaches when I read in a moving vehicle
think you're a health freak: in terms of diet and exercise, no, but I'm paranoid about actually getting sick... if I know someone's sick I'll avoid them like the plague whether they're contagious or not
get along with your parents: yes
like thunderstorms: only when I'm watching them from indoors (that sounds familiar...)
( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... )
CRIED? no
HELPED SOMEONE? I don't think so
BOUGHT SOMETHING? no, except a meal, but that was on a meal plan
GOTTEN SICK? no
GONE TO THE MOVIES? no
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? yes, but I brought it back to my dorm to eat it
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? no
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? no
TALKED TO AN EX? nooo... what ex...?
MISSED AN EX? see above
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? that's a pretty stupid question, is it not?
TALKED TO SOMEONE YOU CRUSH ON? no
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? no
MISSED SOMEONE? yes, and if you read the first half of this you'd have seen this
HUGGED SOMEONE? no
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? no
FOUGHT WITH A "FRIEND"? no
name 5 bands/artists you've listened to in the past 24 hours:
1. Matsu Takako
2. X Japan
3. Do As Infinity... that's about it actually, so...
4. Ayumi Hamasaki (in my head only)
5. INOJ (in my head only)
Would You Ever..
1. Eat a bug? people eat bugs in their sleep on a surprisingly frequent basis
2. Bungee jump? sure
3. Hang glide? I've wanted to do that since I was very tiny, because we lived right down the road from a hang gliding point, and we saw gliders all the time... I used to wave at them... heh
4. Kill someone? no
5. Have sex with someone you don't love? no
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? maybe :P
7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? no
8. Parachute from a plane? sure
9. Walk on hot coals? not without combat boots
10. Go out with someone for their looks? not unless they had a personality to match
11. For their reputation? no
12. Be a vegetarian? no
13. Wear plaid with stripes? not in public
14. IM a stranger: not really, they always IM me first
15. Sing karaoke? only as a duet or group
16. Get drunk off your ass? no
17. Shoplift? no
18. Run a red light? not on purpose :P
19. Star in a porn video? no
20. Dye your hair blue? not all of it... streaks in the front perhaps, but not permanently
21. Be on Survivor? no
22. Wear makeup in public? if the situation called for it... but only if it called REALLY loud
23. NOT wear makeup in public? I hate wearing makeup
24. Cheat on a test? it's been done
25. Make someone cry? not intentionally... if I have in the past, I wasn't informed
26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? I haven't, and I'll never have to take any more math again, so no, can't say I would
27. Kick a baby? no
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/26/2003 04:14:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wFriday, October 24, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: just strangle me now
listening to: nothing
Ok, I just spent an hour and a half typing a new blog, and then my computer devoured itself. In its stead, I've decided to post a bunch of random crap here for your viewing agony. (it was hard thinking of an antonym for 'pleasure' that would still work in that sentence)
Here's some random stupid facts about me that struck me today for no apparent reason:
I have lost 3-4 jeans sizes in the past 6 months.
I could get away with cosplaying as Raelin at Ohayocon if I had the time, money, and motivation.
I finally started a dream log this week. The thought first occurred many months ago, but this wasn't the place for it and I couldn't find anyone with a LiveJournal code, so it's a Word document.
I am one tail away from completing the linework of my first "serious" Photoshop project, a pair of chibi catgirls, which I started over a year ago.
I can now read and produce 350 kanji (Japanese characters adapted from written Chinese), which puts me at about a 2nd or 3rd grade proficiency level by Japanese standards. There are over 44,000 kanji in existence.
I've become addicted to Matsu Takako. She is so adorable it's not funny, and her song Yume no Shizuku is incredible.
I am going to find Itsumo Futari De fansubbed if it kills me.
I have diagnosed myself with mild emetophobia.
I like suckers.
The taste of salt still lingers. I must still be covered with it.
Now some more quizzes...
What cartoon dog are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
How FAT are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
 I am Mario.
I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble. What Video Game Character Are You?
|
Denial Obsession
What's Your Obsession?
brought to you by Quizilla
Now for another translation project. I can't stop listening to Yume no Shizuku by Matsu Takako, and I happened to find the lyrics in romaji last night, so I have to try this one.
~edit: never mind, someone's already translated it...~
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/24/2003 07:47:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wTuesday, October 21, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: my eyes are burning
listening to: Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time
Well, I've found at least part of the answer to the question posted in my previous blog. The "what's wrong with me" question, in case you forgot. The solution I found: I'm a selfish brat.
To clarify... all I've ever done in the relationships I've had to date was look out for myself, only seeking my own happiness and expecting my friends to just provide it whether I gave them reason to or not. If they didn't provide it, I'd turn cold toward them, leading them to give up on me and seek friendship elsewhere; if they did provide it, I'd get spoiled and just bask in the gift, not even thinking that it might be good of me to do something to return the favor. When I look back on all the friendships I've lost in my life, at least one of these two scenarios fits into every single one.
So to all of you who've experienced this part of me and didn't want to say anything, and those of you who did say something but I didn't listen, and everyone else who's ever had to put up with my selfish friendship: I am sorry. If I had the time and resources to visit about a dozen households in 3 or 4 different states, I would dedicate the next few days to showing up on every single one of your doorsteps, asking for forgiveness in person, and swearing to somehow, someday, make up for the time and effort I took from you during our time as friends. But since I don't know where half of you are now, I hope you'll accept a blogged apology instead. I don't think I can just change who I am, since I've been this way for this long already... but I'd certainly be willing to try if any of you want me to. I'm sick of this me anyway, and surely you are as well... so the change would do me good if I can manage it.
I'm not really sure how I stumbled across this realization, but it was at one of those times during the past week or so in which I was actually starting to get over the depression I'd sunk into a couple Fridays back. Needless to say the realization that I was a spoiled brat didn't help much in my getting over it, and therefore, once again my mood has plummeted. Also, I'm still not even sure if this selfishness thing is the only answer to the question in my previous blog... there may be more to it than I'll ever know, but that doesn't mean I won't keep asking myself in utter futility. So if I still seem depressed and pathetic for a while after this, it's only because I am.
I don't expect anything from anyone reading this; I just wanted all of you to know I'm sorry for being a spoiled brat. Do what you will with my apology, forgive me if you want, or don't if you don't. Just know that I feel sufficiently detestable for being like this to everyone I've ever cared about.
It's kinda funny how you can get all depressed because there are questions you can't seem to answer, and then when you DO find an answer, it only makes you even more depressed... how does that work...?
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/21/2003 01:32:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wWednesday, October 15, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: my stomach hurts
listening to: nothing
Yes, I know this blog has recently become nothing more than a place to stash quick pointless thoughts, time-killer surveys, and amusing quiz results. I've actually done more 'meaningful' blogging in my AIM subprofile's mini-journal thing than I have here in the past several weeks. But I'm back to Blogspot this time with another big pile of crap that I need to get out of my system before it totally corrodes my insides. Despite the fact that it's 2:20 a.m. and thus very close to my bedtime, I'll be spending quite some time on this one. So either get comfortable or get lost.
Those who have followed the aforementioned mini-journal in my subprofile should know that I managed to get myself all depressed again a few days ago, as happens a couple times every year. This particular time, the reason was my realization that I just have nothing to offer anyone and therefore have never been able to keep a friend. Check my subprofile for the details if you so desire. Anyway, I did what I could to push it all aside so I could concentrate on the pile of work I had to do. Then I went to history class today - possibly the most agonizingly boring class I've ever had to take, which means I usually spend the majority of the hour and 48 minutes of class time lost in my own thoughts while the professor stands up front lecturing on and on about stuff I should probably be paying attention to for the midterm but could really care less about. Anyway, today I made it a point to try to pay attention and take decent notes. Then, about half an hour before the end of the class, he ended the lecture and spent the rest of the period talking about a recent graded assignment. Soon as he started on this subject, my mind started wandering, and I found myself picking at old emotional scabs that I thought had already healed. I'm good at that. Give you three guesses as to what my thoughts drifted to, and if you've been any part of my life at all since September 5 or so, you shouldn't need the first two guesses.
Bingo - I thought about how that very close friend I had who suddenly decided one day to permanently cut me out of his life. Seriously, I've been fine about that whole deal these past couple weeks... I've heard through mutual acquaintances that he's doing particularly well with his life lately and it genuinely cheered me up to learn this. I feel I should also point out that this has nothing to do with any feelings I had for him that were stronger than just friendship. The thing is, I'm the kind of person who takes my friendships extremely seriously; when I have a genuine best friend, I think about him/her ALL the time, day and night. This held true for Asai and my 'guy' several years ago, it continues to hold true for Dumplin', and it held true for him, even after he cut me out of his life. And part of caring that much about someone is wanting them to be happy, no matter what... so when I learned of the recent events in his life that indicated things were finally going his way after several months of failure (for lack of a better word), I was honestly happy. Even after I got myself depressed in the first place Friday night, when I thought about that, it cheered me up despite myself.
But today something was different, and I found myself concentrating instead on the fact that he went to all lengths possible to completely cut me out of his life. Me, no one else. And that made me realize that I had to have done, said, or been something that severely disgusted him to make him want to do that. At the time he said it had nothing to do with me, that it was all him, but today I realized that that couldn't have been true... I was the only one who got this ultimate cold shoulder treatment, no one else; so the reasons had to have something to do with me. Which led me to ask myself the question that has been rolling around in my mind ever since Professor Brown ended his lecture today:
What is wrong with me?
It's a question I don't expect I'll ever know the answer to. I know that anyone who reads this (besides Dumplin') will lie to me and say there's nothing wrong with me at all just to try to make me feel better or whatever. Either that or they won't say anything at all, which is a heck of a lot more likely. So I'll never know what it is about me that has made every true friend I've ever had decide to throw me out with last month's leftovers. I'll never know, and thus I'll never know how to go about correcting the problem, and thus it will be with me for the rest of my life, with the same results every time. Which means I'll never really be able to have/keep any friends, now or in the future. Either he didn't think of that when he cut me off back in early September, or I disgusted him so much that he truly didn't care. Something else that I guess I'll never know, that will torment me forever.
These were the thoughts that first entered my mind half an hour before history class ended today. For the rest of the period I sat there willing him to just shut up and dismiss the class so I could go home and be alone and finally let out the choking sobs I'd been fighting back for the sake of courtesy to the rest of the class. I still haven't had a chance to have that sob session, though. But I have a feeling it'll take me a while to get to sleep tonight, because it always does... plenty of time, I guess.
There is no pity party here. I say so because more than likely anyone reading all this crap sees it as one giant cry for attention. But to be honest, I hate it when people pity me, because it makes me feel really small and pathetic, like I'm so far below them it's useless to try and bring myself up again. That's part of how I've become so skilled at holding in my emotions and thoughts over the years - avoiding others' pity. But after today, I feel small and pathetic and useless enough anyway that it really doesn't make any difference anymore if anyone decides to pity me over this. That and I needed to get it out before it tore me to shreds. I may be good at keeping my emotions locked up inside with no adverse effects, but I do have my limits, and this particular situation was dancing right along that borderline.
So there you have it. By the way, based on this, it's looking like this blog does still serve as a pretty suitable place to dump my thoughts when there are no vacancies in my brain and they have nowhere else to go... so I guess I won't be abandoning it like I semi-planned to about a month ago.
comment! (2)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/15/2003 03:18:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wTuesday, October 14, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: distant
listening to: TV
It's midnight, I have another hour or so worth of reading to do, and it's pitch black in here because my room's light just burned out. I have no light bulbs and it may be days before I have time to go buy any. Life just loves me.
Not that I'm really a writer, but I don't feel like doing the writing assignment I'm supposed to be doing right now, and not just because I can't see... so here's a survey. Blame Meriko. Actually, no, blame Glass.
1. Your name.
Look around the page, you might be surprised what you can find in here.
2. How old were you when you started writing?
Nine or ten, maybe... maybe.
3. What was your first serious story about?
Cats. ¬_¬ Specifically, a family of cats comprised of two adults and four kittens who lose their home to a fire, lose a member to the flames, lose each other in the confusion, and spend many moons searching for each other. Shut up.
4. What kind of writing are you most interested in (fiction, non-fiction, journalism, poetry, lyrics, novels, scripts)?
The fiction novel, though I desperately wish my brain were programmed to be good at writing lyrics and poetry.
6. Which writers have influenced your writing most?
Heh, probably Meriko and Frank Verderosa.
7. Describe the novel you've always wanted to write, but couldn't.
There are two... one I've blogged about before and don't feel like going through yet again... the other is a fantasy revolving around Reeree, a canid demi-elf princess/high nobility type chick, and her stepsister, Naris, who's a bird-elf unlike her dog-elf sister. It't probably been 2 years since they came to be, and still I just can't put their story together for the life of me.
8. Where do you find inspiration?
Nothing special. Stuff I see around me, weird little things that come up in bizarre conversations, idle daydreaming...
9. What has been the most difficult piece to write so far?
Everything. But probably book 3 of my FF7 series, which I haven't even started yet, but has already given me more pain in the brainstorming stages than anything else I've ever written.
10. What genre do you most enjoy writing for?
Mild romance, some fantasy/otherworldly here and there, and loose fandom, I guess.
11. How do you develop your characters?
They usually result from doodles scribbled in the margins of notes taken in particularly boring classes... I flesh out my favorites over time, pick a time frame they look suited to, give them a history, then work on their actual story.
12. Describe your favourite of all your characters and why do you like him/her/it?
Geez... um... how about a list?
Reeree, because she's the only original character I've come up with that's actually really original. And she's really freaking cute.
She who shall be known as J, because her story is so sad and disturbingly touching I can not believe she was born of my own brain.
Raelin, because I can't find a single thing to dislike about her despite the fact that I didn't really even write her story. I gave her a detailed history, and her story wrote itself over time... and it ended up one of the most realistic, most complete-feeling stories I've mentally penned yet.
Bekki, my stylized artified version of myself, because despite her unoriginality she's so fun to work with I almost can't stand it. I can insert her anywhere and she just... works. Already she lives in 3 or 4 of the not-yet-written novels bouncing around in my head.
13. Describe your favourite "Mary Sue" story that you have written.
...how about not? :P
14. Who is your favourite author?
To be honest, I very rarely read anything that's not 1) an online fanfic or 2) required as a class assignment. So I don't have one.
15. What do you think about movies based on written pieces?
The general trend dictates (heh, I made an oxymoron) that I tend to prefer book versions to movie versions, especially if the book came first. I prefer mad attention to detail and the chance to envision the scenes and characters in my own way, rather than an abbreviated version of the book that leaves very little to my imagination because it takes all the great detail from the book and either sets it in stone or totally ignores it.
16. What matters more to you - the story, the characters or the writing style?
All three are equally important to me. I can't make myself sit through a story with bland characters no matter how flowery the writing is, nor can I enjoy wonderfully designed characters if their story is agonizingly slow/unoriginal/boring, etc etc.
17. What matters more to you - the lyrics, the melody or the overall song?
It depends on the song, I guess. Some of my favorite songs are instrumentals, others I like for the overall sound whether I can understand the lyrics or not, and others I just like because the lyrics amaze me.
18. Have you ever had any of your work published?
Not professionally or whatever. Not my thing.
19. How do you feel about that?
Quite fine, possibly even relieved. I write for myself, and that's how I'd like it to stay.
20. Are you serious about becoming a writer, or is it just a hobby?
If #19 didn't answer this one for you... it's just a hobby. Inspiration and motivation make it a point to hide from me, and therefore I could never hold a successful 'career' in writing, even if I wanted to.
Now to go find a place that actually has a working light so I can finish my homework...
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/14/2003 12:04:00 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wSunday, October 12, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: worn
listening to: nothing
My legs just don't seem to want to move today... someone carry me back to bed, those stairs are not looking too fun right now...
Your soul is bound to the Second Totem, Luna:
The Wolf.
Luna appears as a pair of coral colored wolves.
She embodies empathy, nurturing, insight,
and warmth. She is associated with the
color coral, the season of spring, and the
element of wind. Her downfall is pathos.
You are most compatible with Doves and Ravens.
Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Secret Garden!
You are lovey dovey, romantic Gackt. Try cheering
up a bit though, ok?
Which Gackt song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/12/2003 03:57:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wFriday, October 10, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: autumn...ish
listening to: Donna Lewis - Simone... free your mind to sleep...
A quote from my mother who just walked into the room upon her and my dad's return from a trip to town, spoken with all possible seriousness: "Dad's been talkin' to the Pumpkin Man." I don't know these people.
I wanted to stay on campus this weekend, but I don't regret coming home, because our place is gorgeous right now. That's a perk of having a house quite literally in the middle of the woods... the trees are in full color, and the view is amazing. I swear it wasn't this nice when I was home last weekend, and all the pretty leaves will probably be dead and fallen by the next time I'm home (in 1 or 2 weeks). It was a good time to come back home.
Seems Sunday's some sort of heritage day at my church, and they're encouraging everyone to come dressed in a period costume - anything from the early 1800s to the present, since the church was built some 175 years ago. And my dad, being the self-appointed Christian historian that he is, wouldn't be caught dead NOT dressing up, and he's gotten several other people to agree to it as well. Myself included. He and mom rescued me from campus for a few hours on Monday to hunt for costumes. So this Sunday I get to dress up in a ridiculously heavy fancy 1890s ballgown thing. Should be a riot. I'll get pictures. :P
Anyway, as I said, I wanted to stay on campus cause all my cool stuff is there, but since I'm home, I'm bored. I took more quizzes. >< Today they have an Utena theme. I haven't watched Utena in so long...
Revolutionary Girl Utena: Which Juri are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Anthy Himemiya, the multi-faceted Rose Bride.
Through terrible situations, the outcomes of
which were out of your hands, you've acquired
learned helplessness, and thus appear to the
world as a reserved, sweet girl without a will
of her own. The face you show to the world
masks resentment at your situation and
maliciousness toward the world.
The In-depth, Psychological Utena Female Character Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Broken Utena!
What Kind Of Utena Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Heh, I just thought of something I should make a Quizilla quiz about... *goes off to plan*
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/10/2003 07:44:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wWednesday, October 08, 2003 |
|
|
|
feeling: sore
listening to: whatever's on TV
More quizzes, because I don't want to do homework, I have nothing else to talk about, and quizzes are your gawd.
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Proverbs.
Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
My inner child is ten years old!
The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a Thief or an Assassin! You stealthily walk
the world, taking on your enemies with ease. It
is near impossible for something to hit you,
and you attack so fast that your enemy doesn't
know what hit them. You are cold towards others
as they don't share your own power.
What Class from Ragnarok Online would you be? (Pictures Included)
brought to you by Quizilla
You're the Sohee!
from ragnarok online official site:
LV : 33 Type : Demon Attribute : Water
Virgin ghost that had never had a real love in her
lifetime. She mostly appears near Payon,doesn't
do much harm onto human beings.
Which Ragnarok Online monster are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a female or male that wants to be the
opposite sex. Sometimes you dress in their
clothing and dance around to Barney.Please rate
my quiz.
What's Wrong With You
brought to you by Quizilla
(this one didn't have a pic but it was so dead accurate it had to be posted... well, except the Barney thing...)
I really should do my homework...
comment! (0)
dragged from Becky's stream of consciousness at 10/08/2003 11:53:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
